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Anonymous asked in Society & CultureOther - Society & Culture · 1 decade ago

Overcoming fear and living life?

How do you overcome your shyness and fear and learn to live life to the fullest? In a book I`m reading, it says, "Hiding from your true feelings and fearing failure or rejection will amplify your need for cast-iron protection. You have the power to rid yourself of these doubts and to touch the deepest parts of beingness." I know exactly what it means, but how can I accomplish this? When I look inside myself I believe I am a beautiful, intelligent, talented, capable young woman. However, in my daily life I am met with small irritations like saying the wrong thing to people or being unable to verbalize my feelings, and my whole life revolves around trying to overcome those social mistakes and just be myself. I am 17 years old but my whole life I have been shy to some degree. I believe I am more confident now than ever before, but I can feel that I am still awkward and I deeply desire to develop socially. As you grow older do you naturally become more confident and energetic? Or will I remain shy to some degree for the rest of my life? How can you be yourself, get mad at people, voice your opinion, and just be natural and not care without losing people`s respect and having people think you are aggressive or rude? That is just the tip of the iceberg-what I want is to live life to the fullest, believe in myself, know what it`s like to be loved and have wonderful relationships, and witness the magic that can only come from this. How does it happen? What do I have to do?

7 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    By what I have read so far, it sounds that you have an awareness about yourself, you seem insightful and have a mature attitude, it seems you are ahead of your peers, I do believe.

    You are 17, not meaning to come across condescending, but you are still young and if you are this aware at 17, then you can only progress and become even more so and just continue to grow, learn and flourish.

    I don't know if you are striving for perfection, but there is no such thing, awkward moments will be had in life, silly social mistakes will be made, it is going to happen, otherwise you aren't human, however they can be limited, by just thinking before speaking. Ha ha, yeh I know about 'foot in mouth' disease. slowing down when speaking, breathing and pausing before saying anything that you may regret later on down the line.

    I am a grown woman, and I was not as aware or mature as yourself at 17, it has taken me a few years to learn how to express anger or some emotion without losing ones temper or coming across rude. It is important to voice how you feel about something, without having to project towards the other person, no finger pointing, opinions and feelings can be expressed clearly without being rude. There are learning tools out there, some of this subject has been on shows such as Dr. Phil and Oprah. Using phrases that express how you feel when the other person does a, b or c. Also mirroring what the other person has said, eg. "'so what you are saying is.(fill in the blank) I right?" "please correct me if I have misunderstood"

    It is a way of showing that you have listened and understood or trying to understand what the other person is saying.

    I think you are correct, with age and time, I am way more confident and more assertive in a positive way than I use to be. I am a late bloomer. You have the advantage of having goals and knowing what you would like alot sooner.

    I believe life is a journey, I know that is a cliche, but it really is, we cannot predict what is around the corner, we can make positive choices, choose directions, but life sometimes steers us in different, unexpected places. It is really our attitude towards the circumstances that makes it positive or negative, and if you have love in your heart and desire love, it will come your way, you give it, you receive it. Love and life happens.

    Just continue on as you are, continue giving yourself positive affirmations, surround yourself with positive people too, and not be bothered about what others think so much, that has been my downfall, and it is such a shame to be insecure and fearful of judgement or rejection that it prevents one from experiencing life. So don't hold back from doing things, go for it. And it is possible to enjoy life without abusing one's body or doing anything illegal. I think you know what I mean.

    I wish you well.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    It sounds like you are very young, and it sounds like you need to maybe start doing things for other people, try working in a homeless shelter, or a hospice care center, you might start seeing that your life is not so very bad or hard after all. Every thing that happens to you will be serious if you let it, My mother always said, just build a bridge and get over it, What won't kill you will make you strong. And never forget your experinces!!! that is what life is all about. Learn from them.. think them out... and deal with them for your future. If you are in danger then tell someone that can help, a teacher, an ER nurse, call a local hotline, some one to start the ball rolling in your corner. Good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You and I have this same problem. The only difference between you and I is that I've made cracks in my shell.

    You just need to start talking to people. Don't be afraid to look like a fool. Just be yourself. Just say to yourself, "Just do it! Just do it!" Who knows, you might click with some people. For me, I started my first semester in college and out of nowhere, I've mysteriously made more friends, became a little more social, started being less shy around girls, and I get phone numbers from random people wanting to be my friend.

    All you have to do is follow the quote and just stop being afraid of rejection. Start by saying hi to people coming in to your class, initiate conversations with nearby people, and at least give a nod to passerby. And you're right about something else. Your life changes as you grow just like I've gotten some changes for myself. Trust me, you'll grow up more. You just have to believe in yourself.


  • Eric H
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I'm going to tell you the secret.

    Someday, sooner than you think, you're going to die.

    Now think about this - what could people possibly do to you that's worse than that?

    Now, stop being afraid and seize the day.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think " coming out of your shell " means you have to honestly not care what others think. and why should it? will you even know these people a year from now? two ? five? And why is THEIR opinion so important?

  • Amrit
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    in the end you have to live life to the fullest so carpe diem! (seize the day)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


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