How do i get rid of having a silly crush on someone?
He's never going to be attracted to me and that hurts. He's always been nice to me but i just feel mad at myself because i like him and want to forget him and stop with this silly crush. I am just making a fool of myself that it seems like a lot of pressure just to see him. Then realize, i don't really need his help at all.
I don't have anyone in my life. Besides trying not to think of him, i am suffering major depression and i have no doctor to go to because they all bailed out on me and they didn't have time with so many patients to deal with that i am not on their priority.
I just wish i didn't feel such crap everyday. I wish i could be in a serious relationship instead of just fantasizing about it.
I wonder if he knows i have silly crush on him. I feel like deep down he's laughing at me. I see him smirking when i ask him stuff. I just want to shrink and disappear when he makes me realize that the answer is so obvious. Then i feel so embarassed and uncomfortable having asked him. My depression is just makes me lazy. I have no motivation to get things done. My mind is all scattered. I wish i wasn't so emotional. Life doesn't seem fair. I wish i had a soulmate. In fact, i wish he was mine but of course he won't ever. I really got to stop thinking about the impossible and stop embarassing myself. I just need to concentrate on my work and get it done because i am not ever going to see him again.