Where is all the interest in adopting bi-racial babies?
I am almost 4 months pregnant and at one point was looking into all of my options. Abortion was ruled out immediately, so I started looking into the adoption process. However after researching quite extensively actually,I was very disappointed to learn that there really seems to be no urgency for families wanting or even willing to adopt a multi racial child. My baby is black and white, and it hurts me to know that had I chose to adopt out there is a huge chance my child would have been a consollation prize for a family that really wanted an all white child. When I looked through profiles of couples the families proclaiming to be oh so "christian" and so in need of a child would list they were ONLY willing to accept a caucasian child. Some even went so far as to specify the gender they would accept. If you want a child so terribly and God is allowing another woman to bless you with becoming a mother is it really fair of you to put conditions on it? I understand that an all white couple would ideally want a child that assimilated them most however if love is what you have to give and are looking to receive why alienate birth mothers and potential children just because you want a cookie cutter family?
My my. Good to know ignorance is alive and well in America. First of all NOWHERE in the bible is inter-racial relationships a sin sweetheart, however being judgmental is! Someone needs to brush up on their scriptures!
What you have are not morals and values, what you are is a bigot. For the record I am a med student and so is the father. We are not some immature teenagers. We made a very selfless decision together as to what would be best for the future of our child. LOL at that
- Serenity71Lv 51 decade agoBest Answer
Reezo- As a fellow christian and a person who lives in country made up of many cultures and belief I find that idea of inter-racial relationships being sinful really stupid and ignorant. GOD made ALL of us in his image.
sunny- speak for yourself, not for my kids. (They aren't a consolation prize.) You don't know their own thoughts and feelings on their adoption.
I find it odd to that people just want white babies in America for adoption. (Not all Americans but a lot.) (BTW; I'm Aussie.We have people like that here too...silly isn't it.) Everyone I know in the adoption pool or who have adopted a child aren't worried about things like that. They know they can't mold a kid to look like them etc. And some of them are Christians. I hope you find the right couple for your child if adoption is your choice. (I do prefer family preservation, but not at the cost of a person being forced to keep a child they aren't prepared to raise. )
Personally I think kids that are bi-racial tend to get the best of both gene pools and turn out to be stunning. (I believe in bi-racial relationships, love is love...) I hope you find the right couple to ease any stress this might be causing you because of profiles you have read. The right people have to be out there somewhere just keep reading profiles and look for a couple who are open minded, they make better adoptive parents anyway...
Good Luck and all the best.Source(s): AP
- 1 decade ago
To be honest, if I ever want to start a family, I'd be perfectly happy to adopt a multi-racial child or children - I think they're generally very beautiful! However, I wouldn't be so into adopting a baby, as I'm definitely not good at caring for very small children, but I'm fine with older ones (ie, any age over 3-4) but hey, those are the kids that need homes the most.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
O.K firstly i can't believe the racism still exists reading the responses to you.
Now i will play the devils advocate about why do white couples want a white child. This would apply for some definately and not those who evidently responded here with racism tones. It would be so that child who already has a hard time being adopted is not made to feel worse in school and society with the rude stares and questions.
I am a brown person by ethniticity and an adoptive parent. When i was looking to adopt in the U.S, the gender, race and nationality did not matter. I just wanted another brown child and not a caucasian baby . I come from a country where the white race is looked at we awe. I had one friends mother-in-law (brown family like us) even suggest that you should adopt a "white" child if you get the chance. It was said to suggest a "status symbol" of sorts.......like a pedigree *Horrific*
Racism is rampant in my country unfortunately. Fairer the child.........more attention he gets. Darker he is........more rude comments he receives. Adopted children are often looked down upon by people. Who ask me what my child's birth mothers caste, creed and social class is.
Our child's birth mom selected us and gave us preference for the exact same reason. It was the colour of our skin . *Brown*. No this is not racism........but thinking of what the child will face in the future. I could be open to a white child and flaunt him like a status symbol in my country........but that would be downright sick and wrong.
To spare my child the trauma that my fellow Indians are well capable of inflicting i wanted a child of our colour. A mixed ethniticity child.
I don't ever see my self as racist as i have friends and even family members who are very dark or very fair. And racism plain disgusts me.
- 1 decade ago
I do agree with you one should willing accept any child or baby, as long as they can provide that child / baby a loving home. Now if they someone lived in a racist neighborhood or mostly racist town then it would not be wise to adopt a non-white child. If child/baby had serious health problems and they didn’t feel they could deal or even afford.
Jesus would accept any child a true follower of his would too. There is nothing in the bible that taboos inter-racial marriage. Even if there was Jesus would still accept inter-racial relationships becuase he accepted everyone. Anyone who is truly against it I am sorry but you are not a true Christian. There is only one race that is the humane race. The concept of race by color is man made, made to divide people. People of all races come in different shades from light to dark. Race is also viewed differently in diffrent places take in North Africa they consider everyone from there to be white regardless of how dark their skin is. There was a time that Greeks and Italians were not "white"
jtcshard never never adopt a multiracial child that is absurd that you don’t believe in inter-racial marriage/ relationships but would be willing to adopt a child that is a result of an inter-racial marriage /relationship.
Not all adoptees look at themselves as a consolation price I don't and I know I am not the only one, again just ignorance to try and speak for an entire group of people. If one feels they are a consultations price that’s fine but you do no speak for every single adopted person in this world. The same goes for people who adopt maybe some look at their adopted child a a consolation price, but not all do.
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- 1 decade ago
Let me start off by saying I respect your decision to parent your child. I just wanted to share my experiences. I am a potential adoptive parent who is in the "waiting" phase. My FIRST preference is a biracial child. I know many other adoptive couples who have adopted/ hope to adopt children of any race. There are many couples out there who would truly, truly love any child and would be deeply offended by the thought that these children would be seen as "consolation prizes" (I know you're just expressing what you've seen, I don't think you were being offensive) Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are families out there if you know where to find them. I also thought I'd explain a little about what an adoptive parent goes through as they are preparing for adoption. Some people in the world express (through literature, the web, etc. etc.) that for a caucasian couple to adopt an african american or multiracial child is an offront to the child's heritage. They feel that cascasian people don't have the ability to raise a well-adjusted african-american child in today's world. Many potential adoptive parents buy into this lie and feel they are "playing by the rules " by asking for a child of their race. Sometimes, yes, it is just plain ignorance and racism, other times it is fear. Fear of not being able to provide the rich cultural background that a child needs to love and embrace their roots. I too agree that it is horrible to have a "sliding scale" based on race and want to assure you that not all agencies run that way.
Best of luck to you, my husband is in med school and I know just how crazy and difficult it can be! (thank goodness you're past the morning sickness, right?)
- Freckle FaceLv 51 decade ago
Not all prospective adoptive parents are so shallow.
Yes, racism is very much alive and well in America. There is a term called "white blindness", meaning a white person has never had to deal with racism directly therefore it is easier to disbelieve it currently exists.
I don't think its intentional but it makes me very aware that not all caucasian adoptive parents are fully capable of raising children of races other than their own.
There are some out there who just want to be parents to a child any child and because of that will rise to any occasion necessary. There are others that won't. If at all possible, keep your child.
Best wishes to you and your child.
ETA: I tend to ignore racists, even pond scum has a higher iq than them. You can't get thru to them. Pointless, a waste of energy and wasted oxygen, imho.Source(s): Adoptive mom of a biracial child and an African child.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
We are foster/adopting a "biracial" little girl. Neither my husband or I have ever seen her as a consollation prize. She is incredibly beautiful and has a great personality, just like our other children. It saddens me to read some of these ignorant responses, but I have hope for the future!
- Anha SLv 41 decade ago
Some of the responses to this question just absolutely floored me. Its sad that these attitudes are still alive and well in this day and age.
The cookie cutter family seems to be where it's at for some. It's sad, and unfortunate. You'd think these "christian" ladies wanting a child so badly to love, would be willing to love any child in need. But that's not always the case. It makes me throw up in my mouth a little that people are allowed to make these kind of specifications. No its not fair to put conditions on a child like that. Its like going to a deli and specifying the type of meat you want, and how you want it to be cut.
Best of luck to you
- 1 decade ago
First, don't worry, I'm not going to try to get your baby from you. :)
Second, I'm an adoptive mother and I never specified ethnicity when working with DCF on my adoptions. When you adopt through DCF with all the potential problems they drilled us in, racial issues seemed like the least of our worries.
I think people look into private infant adoption for a number of reasons. If people just want to experience parenting an infant, that's one thing. If they are hoping to dodge potential adoption issues by starting with a "blank slate", or want to have a replacement child for the one they couldn't conceive, that's where people get picky. In some cases it's all right for people to specify race. I'm thinking of people who live in an area where almost everyone is predominantly one ethnicity and the child would feel like they don't belong. Even the strongest and most open minded parents can't compensate for an unwelcoming community.
Other than that, just be glad that you've got such an easy way to weed out the kind of people you don't want your baby with. If you should decide not to parent, you would want your child with people who will accept him or her for whoever he or she really is.
You sound like such a concerned mother bear. I know nothing of your situation and it's none of my business, but maybe you're the one who can best appreciate and care for your baby? As much as I love my children and they love me, I know they'd rather be with the mother they were born to. It's the one thing I can't give them.
- TheresaLv 51 decade ago
Welcome to the ugly undercurrent of racism in adoption, one of the elephants in the living room no one wants to admit. If you go through with this adoption, know that your baby will be sold on a sliding scale based on race. Less than a white baby but marked up a little more than a baby who is 100% African American. And one day your baby will grow up and realize that. How you would feel if you knew you had been not only purchased, but purchased for less because of race?
Also when I say 'purchased' - that's exactly what I mean. Not from you, but from whatever agency brokers the deal. Adoption is a $14billion dollar a year industry and your pain and suffering will be making someone very wealthy. The bad economy has hurt everyone except the baby brokers, who are all doing quite well financially.
Look at some of the prices here, and see how they write about the mothers. The mothers are nothing more than breeding stock to these vultures. It's a wonder they're not listing the number of teeth these mothers have. This reminds me of nothing less than human trafficking:
Please read over the links that Sunny and others gave you, and please keep your baby. He or she needs you. God doesn't have women bless each other with living human beings. That's a horrible thing. Your baby isn't a gift for someone who really wanted their own child, your baby is a living, breathing, thinking, feeling being, who needs you, and who would suffer greatly without you.
I hope you'll read those links over.
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
I am so shocked by some of the answers on here! I am white and one day would like to adopt an older child from foster care. Where I live there are alot of mixed-race children in foster care and almost no mixed race adopters. The authorities prefer to place children with families that match their heritage because it helps them to feel part of the family and have their culture understood and kept alive. However there are simply not enough mixed-race adopters so I would love to adopt a mixed race child and I would not care which races.