Dealing with joint custody?

Im just recently divorced and have been rewarded with joint custody. From now until my son is of school age, I have him for a full week every other week. He is 2 1/2.

Well this week is the first week I get to have him and just dropped him off at daycare for the first time. I feel absolutely horrible! When I dropped him off, he held on to me for dear life crying "Daddy please dont leave me". My heart sank into my stomach. Before this, I only saw him every other weekend and he use to cry when I dropped him off because he didnt get to have enough Daddy time & I kinda feel the same way now after dropping him off.

Anyone else go through this? Is there any advise anyone can give me. I feel like I abandoned him & I dont want him to feel the same way. I know this situation is new to both of us, but its the only way I can really spend quality time with my son.

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hey bro! Don't feel bad because this will help your son at an early age to learn to deal without the things he wants the most. Also, when he sees you for the first time after daycare, he will have totally forgotten about your "misdeed" and will forgive you without asking. It's very normal for the separation anxiety for both of you. Just think that right now he's making new friends, playing and learning to be around other kids. Daddy and son time will come later tonight so just hang in there.

    Source(s): Daughter is in kindergarten.
  • 1 decade ago

    While I personally have not been in this situation before, my husband has. He only got 4 hours a day twice a week with his son, and then went back to court and has him 50% of the time. It is very hard on both parent and child when the child is saying things like "please don't leave me".

    It will take time to adjust, but just keep re-assuring your son that you will be there that night to pick him up from daycare. As time goes by and you follow through on this each night, he will come to realize that you are not "abandoning" him, but that you will be back soon to pick him up.

    One thing that helped my stepson was to keep a calendar in his room. Color code it with blue days for dad and pink days for mom. Go over the next day's routine with him each night and cross off the day on the calendar. This gives him a way to know what to expect the next day and also keep track of time so that he knows when he gets to see mom or dad again. It will also be a tremendous help if his mother keeps such a calendar. Kids need consistency, and while you now have a consistent schedule planned, it won't feel consistent until it has been in place and uninterupted for a while. Give him time to adjust and do these things to help, and I'm sure he will be fine.

    Good luck!

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Welcome to single parenthood! We have all dropped off a crying cihld, be it to daycare of the first day of kindergarten. Yes you feel like crap, but don't worry, as soon as you left, he most likley started playing with the toys and other kids and is having a blast.

    In a few days he will be used to it and will look forward to going to daycare.

    Source(s): mom of 6
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