my sister is 35 weeks along in her pregnancy and I need some comfort advice?

ok she is my little sister she turned 14 on the 23rd of last month

yes I know she got pregnant at 13 please not asking for people to judge... if you have to judge then take it out on me for being an AWFUL sister I wish I had told her about safe sex when our parents refused because they thought it would make her do it any way >.> but yea we see what ship we are sailing now don't we... she wants to keep them (she is having twins) and our parents said after the birth if she hasn't come to her senses and put them up for adoption then she has to move out. so she will be living with our 20 year old brother... I love my sister dearly so I my self need some comfort in letting her go.

but on with the few things she is worried about number one she is afraid of the labor pains she never was good at handling pain but our mom said she had to have a natural birth if she didn't abort it so I told her if I was allowed in the hospital room with her then I'd hold her hand (I've heard horror stories about this please don't tell me to not do this she needs me more now then ever and I can't be afraid of a little hand pain) 2 she is worried she won't make a good mother but she said she wants to try my brother said he would help too but she is still worried.

3 she is also worried that she or the babies (possiably both) will not live through the birth because she is so young I know there are risks for child birth but at 14 I'm not sure if the risks increase or not

so I need some help and advice that I could give to her for taking care of the twins and how bad can the pain be for her because of her age?

and is there any increased risks because of her age?

details I know for sure are that she did not have her period when we figured out she was pregnant and that those pregnancy tests really just love to lie >.> so yea our brother took her to get tested later for anything sexaully transmitted she was fine and then it was found out she was pregnant so yea thats about all I know that could possiably have any effect on the children or her but I really do need some advice from some one who has gone through child labor I'm freaked for her she's freaked for her babies and my brother is just excited to have little babies coming that he can father =.= he is a lovable idiot

Update:

yea I had her get one of those you pee on it said she wasnt pregnant so we ignored the matter till our brother had discovered the secret of her 1 fling and took her for real test at a hospital

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm sorry that you would have to go through such a hard thing and that your sister also has to deal with something so mature. But you don't have to let her go at all, instead she will need your love and support even more with either decision that she makes. Now with many twins they usually do a c-section before they are term and I'm thinking because of your sisters small body and the development of her body they will also take her twins early if possible and she will definately have pain relief. I don't believe that your mother is making a realistic judgement by telling her that she has to have them naturally, because I'm pretty sure she wants to use the pain as a weapon against your sister. She probably figures that she won't do it again if it really hurts. BUT this is not the way to teach your sister about birth control.

    I think that your sister needs to go to planned pregnancy or another like program to discuss her options. I for one can truely understand her not wanting to give up her little ones and cannot blame her for doing her best with what she has. BUT she is very very young and most of her life and their life will be filled with hardship if she decides to keep them. But like I said I couldn't do that so I'd imagine that she probably won't either.

    She should start planning and get in contact with as many government programs as possible if your family cannot help her. Get as much education as she can and join a support group. She will miss most of her own childhood but in the end it's her own choice...may she make the right one and may she understand what she is giving up with that choice.

    Knowledge is power...and it's free for all

    Source(s): Good luck and she is in my thoughts.
  • Nicky
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    First your mother has nothing to do with how she has these babies, she cannot demand that the OB make her have a natural labor, regardless of what she says or thinks. More than likely based on your sisters age they are considering her for c-section, because most young teens physically aren't the best candidates for natural labor (size of their pelivis is much smaller). However, it depends on her body frame and how well the pregnancy has been going. She can always opt to have a epidural (once again this will be her decision not your mothers- no doctor is going to allow your parents to force this on her). As to the labor aspect, all first time moms get nervous about this at this point (whether their her age or in their 30's), it's a new experience and none of us are ever truly sure (the first time) we're up to it, just assure her that women through history have been having babies (and for many centuries having them at her age was the norm) and that she'll do fine. If she's already at 35 weeks, she's doing well, between 36 and 37 weeks is the norm for most twins to be born (and is considered full term). As to raising the babies, that's definitely going to be the hardest part and the one she'll need the most help from you and your family (hopefully your parents will come around after meeting their grandchildren-if not then you and your brother). It'll be very hard the first 3-4 months (more if they have health issues) but, will get easier with time. Encourage her (in a little while) to find a way to finish her education from home (if she can't find government resources to help with daycare), so that she has the chance of being able to provide something for these children in life. To some degree, I'm with your parents on this, that in the big picture these babies would be better off with parents who can properly care for them (both time wise and financially) and provide them with a future that will be easier on them and beneficial to them. I'm sure your sister will love them and thinks that she can do this, but practically it's definitely going to be something that she's really not prepared for (sacrificing both her time and desires at this age). I wish her the best and hope that everything works out for the best in the end. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    If your mother tells her to abort sorry she ain't a mother, its your sister decision weather she`s 14 or 35 years old. its your sister whos going to have to live with the pain and loss of aborting her babies not your mother.

    If I were you i`d be in the delivery room with her for moral support and comfort, everyones different not all pregnancy are the same and she probably wont have them naturally anyway she`ll probably have a c-section done, if there not breached stuff like that so hope I answered your questions...and good luck.

    I was 14 when I found out I was pregnant as well but I lost my babies when I was 4 months along with twins.

    Everything happens for a reason. Im pretty sure she`ll be a good mother

    Source(s): 6 little angels flew to heaven.
  • 1 decade ago

    First, you parents attitude may change when they see those babies. I think when it comes down to it, if she's in a lot of pain and at the hospital, the staff will do what's in the best interest of your sister and if she wants medication, they'll give it to her. It's not your mothers say at that point. The hospital doesn't want to punish her. Maybe your mother is just angry and trying to scare her into the abortion or adoption.

    And I know 14 is real young to have babies, but good for her for choosing to be responsible and having those babies.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with pp. While it might be a bad choice she made that got her into this mess there is no need to be cruel and deny her pain relief. That won't teach her anything more then she has already learned. Plus your mother isn't pregnant or in labor so it isn't her choice. What your sister needs is to be told that this is her body and her children and to start taking charge instead of letting her mother lead her around by the nose. I realize her mom is mad but it is already here and she needs support now.

  • Angie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It is your sisters choice on pain releif and tell her to just ask for it if she wants it regardless of what parents say, they arent going through it. At 14 her body is still very young! has someone looked at her to determine wether her body can cope with the delivery of twins???

    I wont lie labour is painful but greatly helped with pain releif and it is forgotten moments after once that little bundle has been held in your arms.

    tell her to move out of the parents house now and int the brothers, the mother is obviously not supportive and she will need as much support as she can possibly get!

  • 1 decade ago

    their are alot more risks when she is that one. ill say that first of all. im not to sure of them all im sure you could look them up but i know at her age, shes playing with her life.

    as far as i knew its what the patient wanted for medication not her mother. is she going to be in the room. because she doesnt have to be. thirdly with twins their is an increased chance in a c-section. so she may need an epidural anyways. and then only one person can accompany her which would be you by the sounds of it.

    i give her alot of credit for her age being responsible enough to not dump what she did on someone else. it takes alot of courage to step up to the plate at such a young age.

    her parents should have taught her about the birds and bees. my son is two and i talk to him about it. he wont remember now but at least it wont feel so aqward when he gets older.

    as for meds if she has it natural, if SHE decides to do it drug free, then give her ice chips and talk to her. say its going to be ok. this will end soon i promise. just keep it together. we are almost their.

    during labour even that can be to much for a couple people. second time for me was better. i know i worried more about it and now never understood why, i think i worried more than what it was. when it comes down to it, your more focused even though you dont know what to expect. i was 19 when i got pregnant with my first and 21 with my second. first one i had an epidural second time i did but at 9 1/2 cms. it didnt even work. 10 minutes later my other son was born and you know what next time im not even having drugs. i literally felt ripped off over the fact that i had drugs the first time. way better experiance the second time even though more complications.

    hope this helps email me if you need to anytime

    Source(s): 22 year old mom of two boys, tj 28 months aj 6 months
  • 1 decade ago

    If shes pregnant with twins chances are she will most likely have a c-section.

    2nd, no one not even your mother can deny her pain meds, if she asks she gets!

    3rd, if mom is a "pain" during labor, all she has to do is ask the nurses to remove her mom and guess what, she has to leave....

    She truly needs to consider adoption here...

  • pregnancy tests really love to lie? You kids have a lot of experience with them?

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