My boyfriend and I have a questionable passed together?

but we are both serious about our faith and getting married and basing our marriage on Christian principles, and being accountable to God. We want to give my kids a normal functioning home, as it has always been just me and them, (and the occasional passer thru boyfriend who wasn't good for us or didn't want to commit to us.) He wants to raise them as his own and be responsible for us as the Man in the Household.

My problem is that our relationship began out of an open relationship, meaning his girlfriend at the time allowed us to be together. We split eventually and I seriously repented and moved on and had 2 relationships that were non sexual. We ended up coming back together after 2 years with different frames of minds and their relationship was over (btw..she is a self proclaimed Wiccan, we are both Christians) We both have addressed our sins and do not want anything to do with an alternative relationship and want to have a normal family headed by God.

Because he cheated on her (with her permission) then, should I fear that he will do that to me? If we feel blessed and have dedicated our union to God, to treat each other with respect and love and honesty and as Jesus loves the church. Am I being stupid thinking that God can give us better?

14 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You better be a looking some where else


    Once a cheater always a potential to be a cheater


    You will never live in peace of mind that he will not take that one nice looking one out for a little snack


    And it turns into a little more than that


    So just think could you trust him knowing he has already done what you are afraid of him doing


  • 1 decade ago

    You're just not sure yet, so wait.

    Both tradition in Christianity and Islam advise a longish courting period where two people want to put God first. You must both judge whether the other is sincere in their relationship with God, and respectful of the other's personal path and relationship with God. When you feel sure, wait some more, but it is ok to become engaged.

    Anyone can be kind for 3 months. So go 6 to be sure. And I'll tell you what my great grandfather told my grandfather. He said, "Wait a year. If you and my daughter still want to get married then, you will have my blessing."

    Do not want anything but to listen and see the will of God.

  • 1 decade ago

    It isn't cheating if you have permission. I see no reason why you should not go on from here as you want to do, and not worry about the past. Since I am an atheist, I cannot honestly say whether you will be better off with Christianity than without it. But I will say that if you are together on what you believe, including an agreement that you will discuss any doubts or questions together honestly, then I should think you'll have a good life and raise good children.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are both very serious about your present and future path, then your past is history. Neither of you did what was best, but you have repented and hopefully moved on. Are you prepared to commit to this man and no other in the future? Is he prepared to do the same? If so, then give your children the chance to see what a real marriage is. Let them grow up with a mother and father who love them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You are responsible for your own direction in life. Even assuming that your beliefs are the correct ones, divine providence is not going to be forthcoming with regard to your relationship; why do you think your God left Adam to toil for his keep?

    You must make your own decisions. Although your boyfriend "cheated" on his girlfriend, it is certainly not the traditional definition of cheating- at least, not in the way that you have presented it.

    The bottom line is this: If you think your boyfriend trustworthy, then commit to him. If you don't, you'll have a very tough decision to make.

  • 1 decade ago

    Since he had her permission, I don't think its fair to say he cheated on her. And since he wasn't cheating then, there's no reason to think he'll cheat now. He agreed to a certain set of rules back then. He has agreed to a different set of rules with you now (i.e. monogamy). You haven't stated anything that suggests she's planning on breaking those rules (including the fact that he apparently didn't break any rules previously!)

    BTW, I can't even begin to guess why you're telling us the other woman was Wiccan. How does that possibly matter?

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm ashamed to admit that I engaged in questionable behavior behind the back of every girlfriend/fiance that I had.

    However, once I met my current wife, I knew she was the one, and I haven't been remotely questionable in behavior with a woman since then.

    If you're putting God as the head of your marriage, you're going to have to trust God to do his work in both of your lives. Your seeds of distrust will only destroy your relationship. You should postpone getting married until your trust in him and in God is complete with this matter. Then proceed.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you believe in God, well you know God has forgiven him, why not you. As far as what he may do, you will never know until it happens. God is the only one that can bless your family.

  • nicko
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    It would be better to consult God on this, rather than mere people, atheists even.

  • neil s
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    1) If he had permission, he didn't cheat.

    2) If you think there is a God at all, your intelligence is in question.

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