Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Please, for the love of my father.Answer this.This is a girl with tears in her eyes?

I love my dad more that everything I have in my life.He is the one that always lends a helping hand when I need it.My mother. Hmmm, my mother.She has done things to me that you could not imagine.Things like putting me in jail for an arrest warrant I had due to a ticket that I never paid.Ran me out of the house and other stuff I'd rather not say.I think my dad is the only person that cares about me aside from my hubby and children.Anyways not to make things too long I am going to say that my dad is a heavy alcohol drinker.He looks so worn out and he is only 55 years old.He drinks every single day.It really hurts to see him with the beer in his hand everytime I see him.I know the alcohol is making him worse and worse everyday.The thought of him dying cuz of the alcohol is just really bad for me and my eyes get watery every time I think of it.I have tried to talk to him about it and for him to go to AA meetings but he always tells me that nothing is going to happen to him and that he doesn't need anything.I just don't know what to do anymore.I want to save my father from this horrible death.Thanks for your time and reading this.I need some other suggestions on what I could possibly do to help my father.Here is a picture of him and me.

http://s479.photobucket.com/albums/rr151/photoluve...

http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr151/photoluve...

Update:

I have told him to do it 4 me but he won't quit.I know he loves me cuz he has always proven it to me. I will give 10 points to the best answer.

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    What helped me and I know will help your dad is going to church. Hang on stay with me a sec.

    See I used to be an alcohol, drug addict and drug dealer. My kids were very small and didn't know about it. However when my best friend told me to let it all go for the sake of my kids I couldn't due to I enjoyed the high and the money I was getting.

    One day my best friend invited me to church. Needless to say I had not been in a year or so. She told me just go with me that I could still drink, do drugs and sale them. I want you to see what I see. I was like excuse me?

    When I first went I was like okay I like the upbeat songs. It's cool. So I would just go for the singing and day dream through the church service. Then a few months later I started to listen to the preach it was like he was talking about me. Then I started putting what I learned in church into my life. One step at a time. When I saw just how Jesus/God still loved me and answered my prayers even though I was a sinner and how the members liked me for me and not my drugs and money. I started to feel wanted and loved again. Soon I stopped drinking. Due to a stomach illness that I thought was caused by my drinking. A few months later I let go of my smoking pot habit that was 4 joints a day. Thinking it was making me sick. That was in Summer 2004.

    I used to drink and smoke pot because it made me feel a live.

    I didn't go through your normal with draws. I went through reality with draws facing my past and learning from my mistakes the hard way. Even though that Summer 2004 was very stressful due to my stomach illness and having to face my past I wanted to return back to drinking and drugs, but I didn't. I started to live by the teachings I had learned from church. I even started praying in faith for a healing.

    It took three years before I started to see a sign that the Lord and healed me. The day I realized I had been healed was the happiest day of my life. The joy, peace and happiness was so strong. It was like I was on the best high of my life. Guess what pot didn't give it to me GOD did. That day I said it was worth the wait and hell I went through just to be healed and be happy again.

    A year later as I sit here typing this answer it is hard not to cry due to as I look back in my life I see why it took so long for the healing. See God was molding me into who I am today a better person and caring and compassion for other.Whereas before I was a stuck up *****. Not just that, but what I have learned in those three years I can now reach out to others and try to help them. Needless to say when I say I know how you feel I am not just saying it to be saying it I say it because I have been down that road before and if I can over come it I know anyone else can and will. It's just takes knowing Jesus/GOD and time.

    So I suggest that you invite your dad to church and encourage him to return, then GOD will do the rest.

    I hope this helped you as I know it has for me.

    Best of luck

    Source(s): Been down that road before. Drug and Alcohol free for 4 years and counting
  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry that you are in a tough situation

    This is a really tough one.

    Tell your dad you

    love him more then anything in the world, that he is still young, and that you don't want to loose him.

    call him daily

    try contacting an A.A meeting for help, maybe they can help you with this

    tell your dad that alcohol is not a way to deal with stress, and you are worried about yourself and any siblings you have because even though YOU ARE NOT DOING IT if a parent is an alcoholic, kids will become one too. tell your dad, you don't want your kids going down that path. tell him you need him in your life, and you will be lost without him.

    That is all i got. hope it helps. peace and good luck with everything.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well first off I want to let you know that your mother is probably trying to teach you to be responsible for your actions. My mother called the police on me before and was ready to watch me go to jail for the weed she found in my room. Fortunately for me the police officer cut me a break for giving him the names of the kids who gave it to me. Yeah, that was a bad year at school for me. But don't write your mother off just yet. You'll appreciate it in later years and understand her actions.

    Now for your father, that is where the REAL issues are. It will ultimately be his decision to help himself. The only thing you can really do is continue to encourage him. One option you have is to go through the house and empty all the beer cans down the sink and every other alcoholic container you can find. Sure he might get upset and just buy more and well, that's just more you'll empty down the sink. If you do this be prepared for some upset. He won't be to happy, but he'll probably get the message. Just keep letting him know you love him and want him to get help. My mother is an alcoholic. She is in AA and still makes excuses for her drinking. They are the only ones that can help themselves. All we can do is encourage them down the right path. I hope all turns out well. God bless.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know exactly how you feel. Keep at him! Beg him, yell at him, get angry, just don't give up on him. Also look up some information on possibly doing an intervention on him.

    Please don't give up on him. I know how you feel....my Dad did this too, he wouldn't listen to anyone even when the Dr. told him the alcohol was going to kill him and had already killed his kidneys...it may seem tiresome or like he'll never listen but maybe the intervention stuff can help you too. I hope that he gets better :( Mine didn't.... :( be strong for him!

    Source(s): Here's a link on alcohol and drug intervention: http://www.druginterventions.net/
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  • 1 decade ago

    You sound like me. The thought of anything happening to my Dad would be a dagger through my heart. I dont know how I could go on. I feel for you <3

    Tell him that for the sake of himself, if not you, to stop drinking. Its a dangerous habit and a long painful way to die.

    Also tell him that it would be nice if he could stick around while your children grow up. Maybe he could watch them go down the aisle to get married =] Tell him how much you love him and that the thought of him not being around would drive you crazy and it would really hurt you. Hes not only hurting himself, hes hurting the people around him.

    Show him some harsh statistics of death tolls and stuff for drinkers and stuff like that.

    I really do feel for you &wish you the best of luck <3

  • 1 decade ago

    It would be really nice if you could fix it but you cant, you ask him to stop for you or anyone else. he has to stop for him. the only thing you can do is be there for him when the day comes. and it will come he will need you for support. At that time just show him you back him up all the way and you will help him in any way you can and you care about him. thats all you can do. I wish you luck and take care

  • Gent
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    He made it clear that he is in denial, you can't force him to attend AA and he won't go.

    You will have to live with it.

    You could talk with his doctor to ask him if he could attempt to encourage your father to stop, he might listen, I doubt it.

    I am so sorry, it is very sad, I had someone close to me who had the problem, you must be a little detached and focus on your children.

  • 1 decade ago

    have an intervention and try your hardest to get everyone that loves him to tell him that they don't like the man he's becoming with the excessive drinking... make him feel llike he has to change... but try and make him to to a retreat thingo... i forget the name but one of those places you can't leave for a certain amount of time... most of them are optional but plead like you've never pleaded before...

    so sorry to hear this...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

    Continue to be strong and seek for a solution.

    My best advice since you told me you have already confronted him.

    GIVE IT TO GOD

    PRAY religiously and faithfully.

    LET GOD WORK THROUGH HIM AND YOU, to fight this drug addiction.

    DONT GIVE UP.

    GOODLUCK SWEETHEART

    :)

  • 1 decade ago

    sounds like you should consider going to al-anon (a support group for people dealing with loved ones who drink)

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

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