My son's foreskin is very tight?

My husband and I chose not to have our son circumcised when he was born three months ago because we heard a baby boy screaming in the other room and thought we would not subject our son to that.

However, my three month old son's foreskin is extremely tight and we're unable to clean the head of his penis. My husband while bathing him over the last few days has been trying to get it back but every time he tries our son starts to cry.

It is very red and am wondering what we should do? Will we have to have him circumcised?

My husband is circumcised so has no experience with this.


Freya, this is wonderful news. I was hoping we did not have to subject our son to that horrible pain of circumcision!

Update 2:

TANYEL: I wouldn't give breast implants to my daughter, so why would I cut a piece of healthy tissue from my sons penis? He can decide this later when he understands his own body :-)

13 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The intact penis of an infant or child needs no special care.

    A child's foreskin should never be retracted by force.

    During the first few years of life, the foreskin and glans are connected by a common membrane called the synechia (just as the fingernail is attached to the finger). This connective tissue dissolves naturally - a process that should never be hurried.

    The foreskin can be retracted when its inside surface separates from the glans and the opening widens. This usually happens by age 18. Even if the glans and foreskin separate naturally in infancy, the foreskin still may not be retractable because the opening in an infant's foreskin may be just large enough for the passage of urine.

    The first person to retract a child's foreskin should be the child himself. Once a boy discovers that his foreskin is retractable (a wondrous discovery for an intact child), he can easily learn to care for himself. A simple explanation of "how to" may be helpful:

    -Gently slip the foreskin back.

    -Rinse the head of your penis and the inside fold of your foreskin with warm water.

    -Slip your foreskin back in place over the glans.

    Source(s): I would like to give you some appreciation for keeping your son intact!
  • 5 years ago

    i agree with Chuck. don't say anything to your son because it would be very embarrassing for him if he knew you saw him masturbating. however, i have two sons (4 and 11) and i can see why you are worried, so i suggest you talk to your GP privately about your concerns. your GP may suggest a full physical before school starts again (as an excuse to get your son into the surgery without raising suspicion or him finding out that you saw anything..). you didn't say how old your son actually is, but if he is still a young teen (ie. 11, 12, 13) then his foreskin may still naturally be slightly fused to the glans anyway and need no treatment at all or at most need some special cream rubbed into it to loosen it (there is a cream available by prescription that helps with tight foreskins and has saved many boys their foreskins. circumcision should always be the very last resort. my husband has a tight foreskin and although it will not go over his glans it causes no bother so why cut it off?)

  • 1 decade ago

    Nothing is wrong with your son's penis. It is completely normal. The foreskin isn't supposed to retract over the head at this age. In fact, doing so can seriously hurt him.

    It may start to retract sometime in the next few years, however, a study in Europe, where most boys are intact, found that the average age of retraction wasn't until 10 or 12 years. Some boys aren't retractable until after puberty and that is also normal. You don't have to worry about cleaning it at all. Your son will be the first person to retract it, and it needs no special cleaning until he hits puberty- at which point just tell him that in addition to shaving, using deodorant etc, he needs to start retracting his foreskin as well.

    Here are some links on proper care of intact boy-

    From Doctors Opposing Circumcision


    From NOCIRC (run by a nurse)-

    From the American Academy of Pediatrics guide to caring for an intact son-

    Your son is normal, check out the links, and if you would feel better having a doctor see him, both DOC and NOCIRC give referrals to pediatricians who are familiar with foreskin care (as most doctors are very poorly informed on this subject) -Neb

  • 1 decade ago

    ACK! You should not be cleaning under his foreskin, that is really a bad thing to do! The foreskin of a young boy is attached to the head of the penis just like your fingernails to your nails, and it is NOT MEANT TO BE PULLED BACK (by you or a doctor or anyone else!). It will separate sometime before puberty usually, and he can wash under there after that. The opening is supposed to be small in a small child, this helps to keep stuff from getting in there. There is no such thing as a baby with a "too tight" foreskin - unless they are completely unable to pee (which is very, very rare).

    Congrats on leaving your little boy intact! But you were given bad advice on caring for a normal penis :( You just need to wipe the outside like a finger, base to tip. Easy!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That's normal! The foreskin and glans are attached on babies and children! don't pull it back you will hurt and damage him! He won't need to clean the head until puberty by which time he'll be able to pull it back and wash. At the moment because the foreksin and head are fused there's nowhere for dirt to build up so don't clean under there.

    It adds to the pain of circumcision in a newborn, firstly before the cutting the glans and foreskin ahve to be separated. It's like having a fingernail ripped off.


  • 1 decade ago

    Yup, Freya's got it. Don't touch that foreskin, it'll take care of itself until your son's old enough to take care of himself!

    I just wanted to chip in here and say thanks, on your son's behalf, for respecting the basic human right of genital integrity. Cosmetic amputation is barbaric. He and his future girlfriends will thank you!

    Much respect to your husband as well, as I'm sure it will be a bit tricky being the only one in the house with altered parts. I'd encourage you both to do some reading on CIRP and the various intactivism pages, as background info. In general, natural boys require no special care, but as you've just discovered, even that is sometimes problematic when it comes up against cultural perceptions! The more you know, the better-armed you'll be to care for your son and defend your decision to defend his anatomy.

    If there's anything I can help explain or clarify, get in touch.

  • Babble
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Just leave baby's foreskin alone. The only person who should retract his foreskin is him and that will be when he discovers it himself.

    In the UK we don't circumcise. I had to put my son through a lumbar puncture when we thought he had meningitis there s not way i am gonna chop the end of his widgum off!!! Especially just because it looks better!!!

    if ya do it for religion than fair enough but any other reason is wrong!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't attempt to retract your son's forsekin! It isn't ready yet! The only thing you have to do to clean it is wash it just like you would wash a finger.

    A boy's foreskin isn't ready to retract until he reaches puberty. Trying to retract it before that can cause adhesions which will cause problems later on down the road.

    Please don't bother his foreskin!

    Source(s): ER nurse, Mommy to intact 11 year old boy
  • there are no benefits really of being circumcised. i don;t even think they look better, and the guy will lose the nerve endings in the foreskin.

    you don't need to do anything special to clean the penis when they are infants. and DO NOT retract the foreskin. it is attached.

  • 1 decade ago

    Aaaargh! STOP!

    Don't ever try to force his foreskin back!

    Please read this webpage for the best advice you can get:

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.