My ex and the holidays?

We broke up in September and still talk because we have a daughter together, Things are still really rough for me and the other day suggested we still spend the holidays together, not just Christmas for our kid but Thanksgiving and New Years and all the other ones that really have no impact on our daughter. I told her I didnt think it was a good Idea because Im still upset but she insists we do. Let me add to that shes has said she doesnt want to get back together so its not that. What should I do?

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Do it for your kid.And be kind to them.

  • 1 decade ago

    As the kid in this scenario I will tell you that all those holidays really do impact them. When you chose to have a daughter with this woman you made a choice that she will always be part of your life, no matter what happens to your relationship, and I believe you should honor it. If doing all the holidays is too much then split up the smaller ones and come together maybe once or twice a year for birthdays and Christmas. I know it's hard on the parents but it sure does mean a lot to the child.

  • Mez
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Meet her halfway by only spending "some" holidays with her. I know your daughter would love having her parents together but you have split & at some time down the track one or both of you is going to find a new partner & then things will change for your daughter drastically. The way i see it is if your daughter sees her parents together every holiday she may end up living in "false" hope that the 2 of you will eventually reunite & then you will have all sorts of problems. Its better for her to learn now that you have split & that she can still have fun with both of you separately & occasionally together. Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I suggest spending the important holidays together as a family if it is possible without ruining/distracting from the purpose of the day. As for the less important holidays, suggest splitting them. You need to explain that you cannot spend that much time with her (your ex) because it is too hard on you. Thanksgiving and christmas are important. New Years is debatable. Easter is important if you are religious obviously, but things like labor/memorial day or the 4th of july or halloween, can be split.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Celebrate the holidays together. If your daughter is currently staying with her, then there will be a better relationship with her and you. If your daughter stays with you, then just think about this... If you were your ex, you love your daughter and you want to spend as much time as you want.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I wouldn't if you are still upset about things. Arguments may pop up during the family time and make things awkward and ruin the holidays for the family. She may just not want to give up what is normal and is afraid of the change. Does she have many friends?

  • 1 decade ago

    You should go especially if you have a daughter together. Clearly your daughter wants to see you more often and wants to spend more time with you so you should definitely go.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her you will spend one holiday, maybe christmas, for your childs sake.

    Dont let her manipulate you, but meet her half way, make sure it will benefit your daughter.

  • 1 decade ago

    stick to your guns....after all, if she gets a boyfriend in the future, i'm sure her ideas will change, eh?

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