Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

first love situation?

i know its long but please read.

OK well i met this girl named Sarah and we dated for 2 and a half months, i seriously fell in love with her like my stomach turns when i see her and I'm so happy around her and if anyone can make my day better its her. well the beginning of 9th grade hit and my mom was telling me that if i really loved her i would end it now so i wouldn't hurt her later because "its just a high school relationship" (little did i know she was scared we were gonna "have sex" and that's why she told me all that bullshit.) well i broke up with her and we went our separate ways and kinda had things here and there that just hurt us both and i ended up dating her best friend and she...ended up dating mine lol. but what I'm trying to get at is we dated again but two weeks later i told her we needed a break because i HAVE to have a job as a requirement of my probation and i couldn't devote all of my attention to her so i felt like i was letting her down. she took it all the wrong way and went to a party and ended up kissing a guy and it upset me so i went to my ex and she went to another guy. well we both ended up getting drunk last night and she called me and literally told me everything and i broke up with my gf (because of other problems) and she is heading towards breaking up with her bf. what I'm saying is, Is it a good idea to get back with her because everyone at school says we just hurt each other and it never works, which is true but the main problem we ever had was me being a jealous person and we kinda "get back at each other" and not only that but right now were REALLY good friends but after she told me all that last night she talks to me different and we don'tt really say much. like when we date were not BEST friends anymore and wedon't't talk about anything in fear of judgment from one another. PLEASE HELP.

Update:

that was also 9th grade its now almost the end of thenth and were still telling each other we love each other and now when our parents say we cant talk we tell them to **** off. basically we've been on and off for 3 almost four years now and neither of us are over one another. theres gotta be a reason for that right? why do i feel lost without her if everything that has happen has been a bad thing? im just glad we've had what we'e had so far. =]

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ok bro it sound like a game to me u know if people love each other they won't do all that and i am thinking that u two need some time out.

    then start seeing new people and after that u may find out the things that u saw in her which isn't in other girls. i mean stop that and start a new one and no need to worry about sex and everything it will all happen one day but make sure that u have the right girl.

    Source(s): lilla
  • 1 decade ago

    I have been in a relationship like this and trust me people and situations unfortunately rarely change. I would say your best bet is to keep her around as a good or best friend that way you guys CAN talk about everything and not hurt each other. Maybe when you both mature a little bit more it could work...and you will have a great friendship to base your new relationship on. But if you do that you have to learn to be ok with seeing her with someone else and vice verse which might be really hard at first ( but trust me it gets better)

    All that being said if you really love/like this girl and you want to try it again ( and truly feel like you could make it work) don't let the things other people say stop you. The only thing worse than a broken heart is the regret of wondering "what could of been"

    good luck with whatever you choose =]

    and remember the first love thing is great but there really will be more.

    Source(s): a
  • 1 decade ago

    From an outsider's point of view, it sounds like neither of you have really matured. The idea of getting revenge, of "[getting] back at each other", is, to me, an indication that both of your hearts aren't in the right place for getting BACK together. I have a hard time understanding how getting back at someone, a someone whom I have an intimate relationship with, is an adequate response to a situation when it should be talked out to avoid misunderstandings... but again, that's me, personally.

    A relationship in the sense of this situation that (I assume) you're wanting with her, should include all the good stuff... trust, responsibility, open communication, a genuine interest in the other's well-being.

    I'd recommend you talk to her and already have in mind the concerns you've let out here and see what she thinks; be reasonable too. Just because it might not work right now, who's to say it won't in the future? Try re-establishing the bond you had with her before you broke up.

  • 1 decade ago

    That's an unhealthy relationship. To intentionally hurt someone is way wrong, especially someone who you say you love. Your mom is right though, high school relationships are usually just "flings" and don't result in marriage especially when your only a freshman or sophomore. I'd just stick to friends because you guys have already tried numerous times to have a civil relationship and it doesn't work. And dating each others best friend is totally wrong in my opinion. You realize that was just another way of "getting back" at each other? I'd say just leave it alone. Maybe later on when you've matured you guys could try it again. But it looks like it's not going anywhere right now. Sorry.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    WOW lolz thats alot 2 deal with!! but ive been in pretty much the same situation.. its sooo confusing and ur heart tells u to do something but then u go and do sumthng stupid and ruin it.. am i right?

    what i came 2 realise after making a lot.. and i mean a LOT of mistakes.. is that at the end of the day no1 else matters.. all that u shud care bwt is u and her..

    not people at school, friends or parents

    its UR decision! so make up ur mind

    =)

    by the sounds of it u really really like this girl.. in my oppinion u guys keep going back to eachother 4 a reason!

    i think u shud go out with her again because if u really like her then y waste time with other girls? hurt eachother 4 no reason?

    theres no point lolz

    and i so get what u mean about it being awkward.. but u guys will get past that stage and if its meantt 2 b then it will work out!

    good luck =)

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