Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Can anyone give some advice here please?

Okay, I hope some of you guys are able to give some advice on this problem I'm trying to figure out. This is boy trouble I'm having and because of this I have to say some things first before I get you into my situation. First of all, I am not one of those girls who judges others based on looks. Sure, I'll probably say "Hey that guy is cute!" but that does not mean I 'love' him. Secondly, I am very shy when it comes to the guy I like. And thirdly, the guy I like already knows that I like him ( thanks to a certain friend of mine).

I really want to ask him out but I don't know how. I'm afraid to even talk to him. That's kinda weird because I know and talk to most of his friends(his friends are my friends) and I know what his personality is. Last year, he found out I liked him and it seemed that he wasn't interested and so I left him alone. This year my feelings came back and so I sent him a flower (our school has a floral shop) and when I say hi to him, he looks at me and says hi with a smile. We have one class together and that class is band. Keep in mind that if you're in band, you spend a lot of time with the people around you. Band is like a big family.

Anyways, I want to ask him out and get him to notice me this year because I'm a junior and he's a senior! I have limited time, so any advice on what I should do?

Update:

Yup. He plays the trumpet and I play the clarinet. And he is also very shy as well XD.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I was in your situation about 20 years ago. Please do not repeat my mistake.

    Muster up the courage and just ask him, whether it be in person or written note. Include what it is you like about him (yes, flattery works on guys). Life is short, and the possible (and so very temporary) embarrassment of rejection is a small price to pay versus missing out on what could develop into a long-term relationship. Besides, people ask people out all the time. It's one of the things you do in school.

    Hold your head high, smile, and go for it! Enjoy your younger years, because you WILL miss them.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm...it's so difficult for a girl to be in this position. You seem so nice. Often, a guy will misunderstand a woman being nice to mean a woman is willing (if you know what I mean.) Traditionally, it's a man's job to ask out a woman. I have no problem with a role reversal here, but may I suggest a round about way to get your way and protect yourself at the same time. Invite him to a gathering of friends. A few of his good friends, a few of yours (no girls you might have to compete with though.) Have this gathering at a restaurant, or at a small party at your house. This should allow you to spend some quality time with this person without having to worry about anything going wrong. Travel to and leave the gathering with your friends and allow him to do the same. If he has any interest, after spending some time with you (and feel free to be direct about your intentions during this gathering) HE WILL ASK YOU OUT ON A DATE AT THAT TIME.

    If he doesn't ask you out in this situation, he's probably not interested. You'll run the risk of damaging your credibility if you pursue him directly after that.

    If this approach fails, try plan B, a more indirect approach. Go out on a very public date with someone else. Nothing makes a girl or guy more desirable than being unavailable. Make sure the guy you want sees you with your new guy (perhaps a guy from a different school.) You don't have to be overtly physical or affectionate with your surrogate date, just be kind and have fun and for goodness sakes, be mindful of the surrogate's feelings and don't lead him on. This is true relationship gaming. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But trying it usually pretty fun. Good luck. And remember..."ladies stay sweet and keep your business out tha street!"

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok. I would say leave this one alone. He knows you like him so the ball is in his court. he doesn't need any more hints or prompting. More action on your part will only leave you broken hearted. I'll explain why..Men are not like women when it comes to all this. They do not respond to things the way we do. See if this was a guy trying to get a girl all this stuff your doing would totally work cause girls like to be pursued, romanced and chased. the reason your doing that is cause that's what you would like done to you if someone liked you, makes perfect sense.

    Now guys on the other hand....

    They want to be the pursuer. They want to have a sense of achievement when they finally get the girl. Look at them with sports, or even in this case music. The way they work is they need to be challenged, the more they feel challenged the more they will try to win the "prize". If there is no challenge the are simply not interested. Ever notice they chase the girl they can't have? That's why it's more of a challenge, weir to us but it's just the way they are wired.

    Now I'm not saying they don't like all that stuff once they are in a relationship but while your are at this stage don't over do it cause he will not respond the way you are looking for and you will be left really hurt, upset and confused.

    What to do is act as if you aren't interested at all in that way for the moment. Be his friend. Always be busy, having a laugh all the time with or without him, look like a challenge. Look like something that can't be easily obtained. And if he is interested that will actually draw him closer to you, cause your not looking like a love sick puppy and you look a lot of fun. which I'm sure you are already. He already knows you like him so leave it up to him now.That way you haven't got anything to loose. If he doesn't do anything then at least you'll know he wasn't interested and you didn't make full of yourself. I know it's hard and confusing but if you ask him out and he says know you will be crushed and really hurt. And if nothing comes of it you'll meet someone else in the future and laugh about this years from now. Be yourself, have fun with your friends and you'll do great.

    ]Hope this helps

    Source(s): Personal Experience and John Gray Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
  • 1 decade ago

    don't rush things. you cant just go up to him and ask him out. take things slowly. make small talk with him in band class and if you catch him looking at you don't turn around real fast, give him a little smile and if he smiles back that could be a good sign :)

    but don't immediately think he likes you he could just be trying to be nice. if he says something funny then smile and laugh a little. when you think things are going pretty well between you two then go and ask him out, cause a lot of guys i know think its cool when girls ask them out.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just because he smiled does not mean he likes you, I'm not trying to be mean, just he may be smiling just because he knows you like him, try to talk to him a lot in band and ask him simple requests, and questions, it may take over 2 years for someone to become friends you, if you try to be interesting, but you can become friends with someone in 2 days by being interested them....

  • 1 decade ago

    Just ask him out or if you cant do it in person send him a note, do it the old school way with humor= do you like me circle one yes no maybe lol, he should get a kick outta that and it might break the ice laugh about it and then take it to the next level. GOOD LUCK GIRL!!!! =)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well give him hints. If you're really confident talk to him.

    Try to hang out and be more relaxed.

    It might be hard knowing that he is leaving for college

    next year. So act fast, but be sure of what you want to do.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Try being direct with him or get a friend to ask him whether he would go out withyou or not. If he says no pretend you never liked him anyway

  • 1 decade ago

    let be what will -

    or if he just happens to play the trumpet,

    you might venture to comment how you've heard playing the trumpet makes your lips really strong

  • 1 decade ago

    Holy ... Hmmmmm. This is pretty hard. ;|.

    Try and talk to him. Atleast talk to him for awhile and then when you get the chance ask him.

    Thats my only advice I can give you.

    Hope it helps! [:

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