Can I adopt in the US yet...and if so how long on average will it take?

I am 25 years old and I have a two year old daughter. My husband and I have been married for seven years and been together for nine. We would really love to adopt a baby boy very soon to balance out our family. Getting pregnant with my daughter took a year of fertility treatments because of my PCOS and we have always wanted a big family so we thought we'd go ahead with adoption. I have four sisters and probably 20 girl cousins and my hubby also has a family full of girls so we'd love to introcuce a boy into the family.

Am I elligible? We absolutely want to adopt a newborn. At 25 am I at the right age? And can I adopt a newborn even though I already have a child?

Also my husband and I would be very interested in adopting a bi-racial, African American, or child of another race. We are both Caucasian and we know the sad fact is in this country the Caucasian children are usually the ones adopted first. Would we be able to specify this? Can we specify wanting a little boy of African or some other decent?

And where do I start? I live in Ohio where can I go to get more information?

Update:

Also my husband is 24, so a year younger than me. Can we still apply?

12 Answers

Relevance
  • Sunny
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Your infertility issues are very interesting, as is your desire for a 'son' with your girl-heavy extended family. We're all looking for balance. Looks like you've got a job opening...

    So, you want a newborn, eh? Are you rich? They are in high-demand these days. You'll need to pay 15-30K to an agency and/or attorney for the privilege of raising some else's child.

    From what you've written above, it sounds like you haven't done any research about adoption, what it's like to either raise an adopted child or BE an adopted child. Both are very different experiences than raising/being raised within your biological family.

    Please educate yourself:

    http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

    http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

    http://www.origins-usa.org

    http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm

    http://www.babyscoopera.com

    http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html

    Adoption studies:

    http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919...

    http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psych...

    http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/wendys_pres...

    Books:

    The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

    Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND

    Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton

    The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton

    The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

    Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner

    Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

    ETA: I received a lovely e-mail, too. I don't know what gave you the impression that I am 'on Welfare' or 'jealous' of you...but I don't think you and your hubby are anywhere near mature enough to raise an adopted child.

    Source(s): Adult adoptee
  • 4 years ago

    Because one party rule is not a good thing in a democratic, constitutional republic. The filibuster is an invaluable tool for either party to use to ensure that a bill does not get passed without time for due consideration. Hardly anyone in Congress will admit to actually reading the stimulus bill in its entirety. Now they won't have to read any of the bills since most politicians put party first anyway. This won't last too long. The American people will get fed up with all the nonsense coming out of Congress and things will change again. Either that are you will actually see states banding together to defy the federal government. One party rule creates more problems than it solves.

  • 1 decade ago

    Let me get this straight... You want a special ordered male child of African descent? Try the cabbage patch.

    If you truly want to help a child, it shouldn't matter their age, gender, race, etc...

    It sounds like you are only thinking of yourself and your husband here. I don't hear anything about helping a child. "WE"... "I"... Any child you adopt is going to have a whole history and family that exsisted long before they came into your life. You cannot be so self involved and handle this properly.

    ETA: Thanks for the email, hon. Theres nothing quite like being called an idiot to make me rethink things. I have, and I have nothing to change. BTW, I am a 30 year old female, and a mother. I am also an adoptee. You can think what you want about me, however, your sweet little email made me think much less of you.

    ETA: You are 25, eh? How come you say you are 19 on other questions? Hmm... Perhaps that WAS troll I smelled all along... AND I QUOTE:

    "Could I be? I'm currently making 200 a week I have too many bills my husband is in school with a bad paying job and my health isn't the greatest. I'm only 20 so it would be a nightmare. I've tried to be responsible but now I'm too scared to take a test."

    Ready to adopt? No. Troll? Quite possibly.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Am I elligible?

    Maybe, talk to an agency.

    We absolutely want to adopt a newborn.

    You and 95% of people looking to adopt, good luck with that.

    At 25 am I at the right age?

    Depends if you have done your homework. Have you researched parenting a child of another race? Have you researched attachment and abandonment issues? Have you researched adopting at all? Your questions suggest no so I suggest taking a long hard look at all the links Sunny has provided you with.

    And can I adopt a newborn even though I already have a child?

    An agency will most likely be willing to work with you, they want your cash. Will a pregnant mother be willing to hand over her child to you? That is her choice and her choice alone, nobody here can speak for anyone contemplating adoption.

    Your question comes off as though you are looking to walk into an agency and pick out a child through a nursery window...

    Ohh look at that one! A boy! An AA boy! OHhhhhh I'll take that one!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • cmc
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    We adopted a baby in California and it took less than a year. However the wait is unpredictable since normally the mother chooses the family for her baby. We were lucky to be chosen quickly and that there were no complications with the adoption. My daughter will be 3 next month.

    In terms of gender I know many agencies don't allow you to specify. That is in part because sometime the mom doesn't know the gender and they don't want the mom or baby to be "rejected". Also they figure if you had a bio baby you couldn't choose (unless you did some high-tech IVF). In terms of race, the more types of children you are open to, the higher the chance you will be chosen more quickly. But do educate yourself on transracial adoption before you decide. There is an organization called PACT in Oakland Calfornia that does education around transracial adoption, and they have some information online.

    The place to start it twofold. Start reading about adoption, and start looking at local agencies in your area. We started by taking a 4 wk workshop on adoption that helped us understand the issues around adoption, and helped us decide we wanted to adopt domestically. We found the class through an organization called Resolve which is a support organization for infertility. It is important to make sure that anyone in adoption you are working with is ethical since there can be a lot of coercion or pregnant women and some really outrageous costs associated with adoption depending on who you are dealing with. Also you can look into foster care adoption, but waits may be longer for a baby.

  • 1 decade ago

    Good luck with that.

    You have a lot of research to do. I think it's really hard to get a baby unless you are really wealthy.

    More mothers are keeping their babies now. It is a proven fact that babies suffer loss when given up for adoption.

    Source(s): In reunion since 2001
  • Randy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Can you adopt? Sure, if you meet the criteria. That will involve (at least) a home study, clear criminal records check for both of you, reference checks, credit checks (in some areas) and of course the fees involved unless you go through a foster care adoption. Age wouldn't make a difference in your case because by the time you find the child you are looking for, based upon your shopping list, you could be well into your 30s or older.

    You must also remember that the process is not just about what you want but also what the needs of the child is. They will match you with a child based upon not only wants but also, more importantly, the needs and the child. The more narrow you make your requests the longer things will take and with phrases like "we absolutely want to adopt a newborn" I can see a long, long wait ahead of you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I suppose not only do you want a fresh from the womb newborn son, but want to horn in on the delivery room too.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's always a newborn......

    COMON people! Let's be at least a little reasonable this time....She did say she would take "any race"...newborn that is..

    It's always a newborn.....

    Source(s): ex-foster kid
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Would you like a side of lies with that order? That'll be $40,000 at the next window, please.

    BTW, that email you sent me was AWESOME! I had to forward it to my friends. It made me laugh. Sorry you don't like honesty. Keep pluggin' away at this "I want...memememememe" thing. Let us know how that works out for ya.

    Source(s): Human beings aren't burgers to be ordered in a drive thru. Try getting educated about adoption and THEN start thinking about a child who NEEDS you. (Hint: The ones who need you are usually not the special-order ones you think you can get at the McDoption drive thru.)
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.