Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

A poem about war and peace... I hope you're not mad.?

As an Atheist I always wanted to write a poem about god so NYAAAAH!!! Don't ask me about the title.

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-The Unheard Symphonies Of Heaven-

One time I lay my tired head,

On a rugged makeshift bed,

Remembering with eyes shut,

Those whom now lay dead.

Johnny who was a child still,

Fought with all his might and will,

Though his youth and strength had failed,

So all of his blood on the grass did spill.

Fred who was killed by an enemy's bayonet knife

Which took away the last breath of his life,

Until death did he part,

From his beautiful young wife.

Benjamin old and almost retired,

Though we had all quite much admired,

His lifelong career in the Marine Corps,

It did nothing to protect him from the bullets the enemy fired.

Yet I see them all now those of my team,

And my enemies too! Strangely though it seem,

All talking with a robed man so familiar,

Weird enough should this be no dream.

I was in a trance of sorts until I was noticed by my squad,

"Come inside and join us!" they all applaud,

Even now my one time foe now awaits,

Inside the pearly gates, to join them with god.

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What do you think about this poem?

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Again, interesting. I love how you did the AABA rhyme, but some of the rhyme seems forced. The perfect rhyme will give it that wondeful, impactful meaning, and this poem is good enough that it deserves that! Otherwise, great premise, keep writing :)

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  • Interesting..I have starred this to seek better answers for you. I am fresh out.

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