Help, family dispute?! ?

ohk, well my grandmother came back over from scotland yesterday and i havn't seen her in 5 years, well nobody told her i have a kid because they couldn't get in touch!

Now she knows and she hates me!

She wanted me to go around to her place and talk to her , so i did thinking that we would sort the whole mess out!

Yea right!.........

She pretty much ripped my heart out with all the awful things she said about me, and that is not like her, she is very religous and even if you say a simple word like bugger she goes nuts and you have to pray to god!

well i don't do the religon thing but i still respect her.

She planned it, she told her husband and my father to go out for drinks!

She then closed the windows and doors and told me to sit down!

Usally i would reteliate if someone was being horroble to me but i was so gob smacked and upset i couldn't stop what she was saying.

Near the end of it she said she wants everything she ever gave me since i was a baby back, and thats alot of stuff!

I thought that was it but there was more, she never wanted to she me or have anything to do with her grandaughter again!

After the fight i went to she my mother and she was furious!

After she told my father it just couldn't believe it his own loving, sweet, religous mother could do something like that!

He thinks i am lying, because many people think she couldn't hurt a fly but my mother had a run in with her many years ago and found out what she can be like!

Now my father is torn between two people his mother and his daughter me!

If he dosent find out the truth it may come to my parents breaking up because of fighting about it and my daughter and i moving away!

And i don't want to but how am i going to explain to my 4 year old daughter that we aren't invited to the christmas dinners and easters, birthdays because my grandmother is always there!!!!????????

6 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    aww Sweety! OK first relaxed.

    Do you want to associate with a person that is, or can be awfully hurtful? Seriously, you have to think about your relationship with your grandmother. Ask yourself, is it worth it? Well, you should put yourself in her position. Would you have been upset? yeah...most likely. Right? Your grandmother did not mean a single thing. I promise you. She was mad. People, it doesn't matter from what religion, are always throwing some kind of tantrum, trying to seek revenge.ITS OKAY! I think it was wrong that she did that. Yes, i do believe your father should have believed you. TALK TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER. Explain to her why is it that you couldnt have told her. And tell her you did not appreciate her verbal abuse! Well i am so sorry that your caught up in this pickle. I wish you the best of luck!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Boys, youre in a pickle, arent you? Well, if I were you I would do

    what she says, give her back the stuff, why fight the issue, she

    might change later of how she thinks, but older people are very

    set in their ways, she was probably raised in a very old fashioned

    way, very strict and she probably wont change, she does love you

    but her beliefs are stronger than that. So why fight it.

    I have a 79 yr old mother and she is the same way, everything has

    be her way or the highway but im an adult im 43, she has to let go

    but when we have fights she give me back stuff that ive given her

    for birthdays, christmas and then later she forgets about it, but she

    forgets how it hurt me, what i do know is just not fight, just yea ya

    whatever, or yea ill do whatever you want, and do what I want, that

    way I dont lose time and energy with her. I know it will be sad since

    she wont see her great granddaughter but ey its her loss not yours

    life is too short to waste it on negative thoughts or people.

    Take it from me been there, done that. Youre very young, you have

    your whole life ahead of you, just think happy thoughts, at least

    every time I see my daughters eyes thats what makes me survive

    day by day and makes me fight in this life.

    Source(s): Good luck sweetie!!!
  • 1 decade ago

    Your father needs to stand up for his daughter and his wife and his grandchild! And if the Grandmother knows anything about the bible - I believe it states that the husband shall cleave to his wife. (that's a quote from a pastor) What she gave you is YOURS. You did the respectful thing to just sit, be and listen to her. I don't think it would matter if she knew about it 4 years ago or now, at least she would have time to get used to the idea, but we hide a lot from my grandmother too more to protect her. With that said, how could no one reach her in this day of communication? Anyway, hang in there, be honest, don't bash her it sounds like you have been the bigger person all along and she is setting a foul example for the generations behind her. Tell her God does not make mistakes and your child is no mistake. I hope your dad comes around and stands up to her because she will continue her shenanigans until someone stands up to her. Don't leave, you were there first. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Aww sweetie...she sounds like my mom, lol. I know it's hard now, but people really do react in crazy ways sometimes. Ya know how as a little kid you always thought you might get caught for sneaking that cookie, so you hid under the blanket until you realized noone even noticed? It's kind of like that....just lay low for now, don't try to even breathe on anyone. Eventually she will realize that even if she doesn't love the current situation, she still loves you because she has to, you're her flesh and blood. Don't say anything to your daughter for now, she's too little to understand this stuff. Try holding a family meeting if you can, and then, like I said, depending on how it goes...lay low. I really do hope things get better for you.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Please don't omit all the family dinners, and celebrations, because of her. If it is at her house, I would not go, but if it is at someone else's house, by all means go and completely ignore your father's mother. She will let her true nature come out and your father will see what is really going on. As far as all the things she gave you, keep them, after all they are yours now, and there was no stipulations when they where given to you. I know it hurts, but she is the one that will be missing out.

  • your grandmother is horrible. I'm sorry but no one should be treating anyone like that. You're a human being for God's sake! She has no right treating you or her own grandaughter that way. Show that woman where to stick it! Say something to her!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.