How do I know if my feelings have really changed?

I have been with my guy for a very long time. We have definitely shared great times, but there are also lots of bad times. He is the person I have committed myself to and have considered my soulmate for over 3 years. But, for about a year now, we haven't been able to get along. Harsh things are said during fights. I feel like I've lost my feelings altogether. I want to marry this man, but sometimes I am not even attracted to him. He is a wonderful, wonderful person. I am just scared we are wasting our time if this relationship is really over and we just don't see it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    im in the same situation where i thought this man was my soul mate for 5 years ... but now after trying and trying and especially trying extra hard this whole year ... ive realized as much as i want him to be my soulmate and as much history we have together ... we're honestly just not meant to be.

    if its this hard to be with somebody, then you know ur definitely going againt fate ... and if u are already feeling doubt and feelings of unsurity, then there is definitely something in the relationship that has changed and u have to decide whether ur unhappiness is ever gonna turn back into happiness or ur gonna have to move on ...

    its really hard and i speak from experience. i just ran into him for the first time in months after i decided i would not longer speak to him and cut him out of my life and it was ok ... it will get better in time..

    but like i said earlier, if its THIS HARD ... then u know somethin isnt right.

    gluck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well its kind of a complicated situation [i'm pretty sure you know]. My husband and I were in a relationship for 3 years before getting married and just before getting married i went through the same exact thing you are going through. But you have to really analyse the situation, do you still love him? or are you just getting bothered by the fights?? Because even after being married i get into certain disagreements where i think omg i cant take this, but at the end we are just stronger than ever. So, honestly, really analyse the situation. I broke up with him before getting married for the same reason and then realized i couldnt live without him lol.. thats life. =]

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are having these feelings at any time then you are not in love. Regardless of good times or bad times you should still be able to look at the person you love and be attracted to them, know you love them and know that they are the one. You really need to reconsider your relationship all together.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    marriage is not going to miraculously solve your problems. it's the last thing you need to be considering.

    you need to deceide if its worth trying to save your relationship or if it's time to leave it.

    sorry but you contradict yourself with every second sentence.

    maybe the time has come to end it for your own sake.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He hasn't put a ring on your finger and he has an attitude! Change the locks and tell him he is an A-word!

  • 1 decade ago

    According to your story I can truly say that it is time to move on. Thank heaven that you catch it on time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Time to change .

    A strong maybe , doesn't cut it .

    Use him if you want to , but marry someone else .

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