Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

why would friends with benefits be a good thing after a breakup? why not?

a friend of mine is considering to go down the route of friends with benefits, despite there is no emotional attachment and you can leave whenever you want what are other benefits? Are there any risks involved other than getting an std or pregnancy?

25 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I disagree that friends with benefits is always a bad thing. It could be what your friend needs to reboot her confidence after a break up.

    Personaly i currently have a friend with benefits and i have never been this happy. there are no politics like in a relationship, you do not have to answer to each other, and when i say its over, its over, no hurt feelings. however it does depend on the person, the biggest risk other than STDs is getting strong feelings towards the other person, won't happen in my situation, but if it did happen i would say it would be very hard if the boy didnt feel the same back, she'd end up getting her heart broken again

    the "other" benefits is sex when ever you want it, exciting text messages during the day, as well as the odd picture message for him ;). its so exciting and makes you feel great

  • 4 years ago

    Friends With Benefits After Breakup

  • Laura
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    There are a lot of risks, depending on the person. A lot of people think they can have sex with no emotional strings, only to find that they are becoming attached. This is a recipe for hurt if your partner doesn't share your feelings.

    The is also the fact that sex is a very intimate act. You are letting someone see you at one of the most vulnerable times, and if you don't share deep feelings that can deeply change the friendship for the worse or the better (I've seldom seen for the better, but I have seen it).

    You are also adding another "notch" to your bed post. This may or may not matter to you, but some people really frown upon having "too many" partners.

    Benefits: You are getting an urge satisfied, it validates the fact that you are attractive, it can feel like revenge against someone who hurt you.

  • 1 decade ago

    The truth is, there is always an emotional attachment. Friends with benefits is a bad idea no matter what, especially if you've dated the person previously because inside, whether you're ready to admit it or not, the feelings are still there and inside, you're wanting more then just "friends with benefits".

    There's no point in putting yourself through that. And every person deserves so much more then that.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Pretend your question was written by someone else and attempt to answer it. I know your judgement might be clouded because you are in the situation yourself but I am sure you know inside why :)

    For a guy, it's kinda awesome. They get to do all the really really really really really GREAT things to you and they don't have to deal with the extra stuff that comes with it. For guys solely focused on scoring, they'd call this "baggage". It seems like a win-win situation for them.

    However, if you let them in and do all that someone is going to get hurt eventually. You will most definately redevelop an emotional connection for them. With that, someone may find another person that they like and the connection will be severed. They will say to the other "but hey, we weren't even going out in the first place..." and the other person will gawk at you... :O

    Another possibility is that you are also likely to get back together. I have done this - broke up and got back together and I think it is worth it, even if I ended up getting hurt in the end, it was worth being with the girl I love for that limited amount of time. I still want to make it work with her. I still love her.

    So it's up to you. And as the Dalai Lama says... the first instruction for life is to understand that you must "take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risks".

  • 1 decade ago

    If both parties only want a sexual relationship and nothing more, there is no problem with that. The problem would arise should one decide they would like to start dating seriously again and can't break the habit.

    STD's and pregnancy are possible but if both trust each other and know what's going on, then it's ok. If anything, take tests before engaging into a "friends with benefits" relationship. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Friends with benefits is always a bad thing. I would know; I went down that road.

    It's basically saying that relationships are like an accessory: If it goes out of fashion, trash it. It's not a healthy mindset that you can get into something without making a commitment. They should hook up and break up later. That's life, they should go through it like everyone else. Friends with benefits makes the person seem like they are saying "You can do me and then just leave me"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well i'll admit that i'm currently in this situation kinda. me and this guy have been friends for a while and a few months after his gf broke up w/ him we started meeting up every once and a while aka are now friends w/ benefits. its def been hard for me cause it's the first time i've done anything like this but its lots of fun too. the biggest risk i'd say is the emotional part of it..if one person has different feelings than the other it will become a difficult situation.

  • 1 decade ago

    The only benefit I found was instant gratification. Sure, I was happy when I was with that person, but as soon as we weren't hanging out I felt awful. Sometimes it's hard to not have an emotional attachment to someone you're sleeping around with... especially if you're seeing that person often. Friends with benefits isn't for everybody.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, there could be a huge chance of STD and protection is strongly advised in order to do it. The advantages is that it would not be awkard between your friends. I just don't know really why someone want to have a friend with benefits.

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