Should I continue to plan my wedding? ?

I found a card for him from a so called friend. This same friend that he told me that he wasn't going to talk to her anymore after I heard a voice mail that she left on his phone. He keep saying that she's just a classmate and old friends. What should I do?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Confront him and tell him what you found. Ask him about it. You need details and information and if you don't reach a resolution, at the very least you need to postpone the wedding.

  • Woods
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You should have a talk and figure out what you both expect here. It's quite possible he has no feelings for this gal other than as a good friend. But if she has feelings for him, it's not right for him to continue the friendship. (you didn't say what the card said) Both of you have friends of the opposite sex from the past, I'm sure. However, are you supposed to never talk to these friends again? You have to decide what is right for you and move on. If he wants to continue with old girl friends, and you can't handle that (don't blame you), then you have a right to break it off.

    However, this is just an example of many times you will have to have serious discussions and come to an agreement. Marriage is full of times like this. If you don't feel like you can trust him, then you don't want to even start a marriage like that. But if you have problems with jealousy and he's not given you a reason, then you need to wait until you can work that out and get past it.

    If the two of you can come to an understanding and both of you follow through, then the wedding is probably a good thing. I wish you the best with whatever you decide!

  • 1 decade ago

    Ugh people are being so negative. Listen this has happened a few times within my relationship so I know how it feels but many times its just on the part of the ex or other girl, classmate, friend whatever. So your fiance may have stopped talking to her and thats maybe why she sent him a letter. So he may not be at fault. You need to put your planning on hold just for a few days and take time to talk to him. Figure it all out then once u guys have talked, and youve had time to think it out yourself, you can decide what to do, whether to give a break on the relationship or realize that he's not at fault and continue planning the wedding. Some exes, or friends are very jealous and will try to intice the male back and into leaving his fiance or girlfriend so for the most part I''d think its the girl that is trying to mess things up for u and ur fiance. But you really need to have a talk with him and tell him to be honest so you can figure out whats going on. In my case, my fiance's ex friend (a female he really liked) came back after a few years and messaged him and I knew it wasnt my fiances fault rather she was jealous that he had moved on. So my fiance and I sat down and wrote an email back to her bragging about me and how much he loves me and that did the trick as she just stop messaging him and gave up. So try and see whats goin on but dont get discouraged cuz it could be a misunderstanding. Email me if u ever wanna talk about it cuz im good with these type of things. Good luck!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, what's the date on the card? It could be an old card. Some people really hate throwing away cards.

    If he says she's just an old classmate and they're just friends, then you can do 1 of 2 things. You can trust him--which you're going to have to do anyway. It's impossible for him to not associate with any women, or for you to not associate with any men, ever. You're both going to have to associate and do business with members of the opposite sex. I have friends who are men, my hubby has friends who are women. No big deal to me. I know my hubby loves and wants me, not another woman.

    If you can't trust him, you shouldn't marry him though. Trust is a key part of any marriage foundation, if you don't trust him, why on earth would you want to marry him, co-mingle your finances, raise children with him, etc.? You wouldn't.

    Source(s): happily married over 20 years.
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    1. Is there a DATE on the card that comes AFTER the date he made this promise?

    2. What is ON the card?

    Find answers to that before you blindly assume he's still in contact with her.

    If trust issues still exist, clearly neither of you are ready to marry.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, you will work it out. Here is a great wedding planning site that we used; http://www.weddingkit.info

    There are a lot of emotions running high during this period, there are bound to be slip ups.

    Good luck,

    JR

  • 1 decade ago

    Why would you marry someone you don't trust? If he is still staying in touch with her after you asked him not to then you shouldn't be getting married. Wish you the best.

  • . .
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    If you have trust issues, then definitely stop planning your wedding.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should stop planning the wedding until you can get your jealousy under control.

  • Sunny
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    why don't you allow him to have female friends? sound to me like you are a bit controlling... unless there is more to the story..?

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