Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Am I wasting my time on him?

So, theres this guy.

I've known him for around half a year. When we first met he was crazy about me, but i didn't feel the same way and we drifted apart.

A month or so ago he seemed to come to my rescue when my best friend went into a phase of being so infatuated with his girlfriend that he neglected me. We got along really well and he revealed that he still had feelings for me. I ended up developing feelings for him too, and we started meeting up more and began cuddling a lot when we saw eachother and kissing a lot. It was really lovely, but what bothered me is that he still didnt want to be part of a relationship. He hadn't asked for us to become exclusive or anything, in spite of the fact that he spent a lot of time insisting he loved me and was crazy about me.

So today it got too much for me, especially when I was IMing him and his ex girlfriend was on his screen name and display picture, and I wasn't on there at all. I asked him why he hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet, and he said he didn't do well in relationships. He always says he hates thinking about the future and he doesn't want the security he used to crave so much in a relationship.

I asked him if staying single and having this 'thing' between us was what he really wanted, and he said he didn't know what he wanted. He said he didn't want to ask me to be his girlfriend because he was scared he would screw up what we have.

I told him I was really sorry for being so angry and arguementative and that I don't want to lose him and I really care about him. At this point he became blunt, replying to everything with just 'okay' or 'alright' while I was pouring my heart out. I asked if he was being so blunt because he was just busy, or because he felt uncomfortable talking. He said a bit of both.

Two hours later and I've just texted him asking if he wants to talk now, and he just said 'It's late and I have to be up in the morning. x'

This is horrible, we haven't argued since we first met months ago and I can't bear to lose him, but is there any real point in staying as we are when I know he doesn't even want a relationship?

I'm crazy about him, but I hate the lack of recognition I'm getting, and the fact that he isn't being very sensitive at all about how I feel about this.

Update:

i forgot to add, he keeps talking about sex. I told him today i wasn't having sex with him until we were IN a relationship! I don't know if thats attributed to his off behaviour or what.

1 Answer

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I ACTUALLY WENT THRU THE SAME THING WIT MY BOYFRIEND....HE HAD TOLD ME HE WASNT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, AND THAT JUST GIVE HIM TIME.....LOL

    WHAT I DID TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM WAS I GAVE HIM TIME AND I STARTED TO DATE OTHER PPL WHILE I WAS STILL WIT HIM....IN OTHER WORDS, I STARTED TO PULL AWAY OR "PLAY HARD TO GET"....LOL....IN NO TIME HE WAS ASKIN ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 4 YEARS NOW

    HOPE THIS HELPS

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