If a man withheld sex....?

If a man withheld sex from his girlfriend or wife would it matter?

IF it is true that men value and/or put more emphasis on sex, would it matter if a man withheld sex from his girlfriend or wife being as though it is believed by many people that women can get casual sex easier than men?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    About 2 years ago I was with a guy who tried to withhold sex from me. Because I enjoyed it more than any girl he'd been with previously, he thought he could use it to manipulate me. (He was quite the manipulator you see and always wanted his own way.) It didn't work, I got angry and he suffered from no sex as well. Needless to say we were only together 6 months before I dumped that sexless ***.

  • shebs
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Subjectively, yes it could well matter. Remember that witholding of anything, in this case, sex, is a form of control. A healthy relationship should be free of the need for either partner to do that.

    If you accept that she could get casual sex as a replacement, then fine, but what then does that say about the woman if she sleeps around while in a relationship? It is not considered acceptable for men to do it, so it is just as wrong for a woman to do it.

    You also offer the proposition that men value sex more: this is highly subjective and most of the women I know value sex every bit as much as their man does. Why do you think so many women complain after a few years of marriage that he no longer puts out enough? It is because they value sex.......just on a differen tmeline to the man, and they obviouslt don't sort the issues out.

    EDIT:

    R Gaspari gives a good explanation here too. The idea that men are the sex beasts and women are reluctant and chaste comes from centuries of values, including those puritanical values that formed a great part in founding America, a good dose of Victorian romanticism and prudery and, quite often, religious sources, though not necessarily the original scripture.

    To my mind feminism has perpetuated this myth and hardened it using pejorative ideas that men are all rapists and sexually voracious and women are seually subjugated. Gaspari uses Dworkin as an example. Hite, Greer and others have all fallen for the idea and perpetuated it too.

  • egn18s
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    In my experience from the girlfriends I've had and the wife I have... women don't even realize it if a man withholds sex. By "withholding" sex, for whatever reason, it basically amounts to me not making any effort toward initiating sex. When I don't initiate sex, all that happens is that weeks go by without us having sex and they don't even realize or care one bit.

    As for the last part of your question where you mention casual sex: Are you implying that a person in a relationship will try to get casual sex from someone else if their partner withholds sex? For one thing, I don't think as many people will actually cheat as you think. Even though cheating gets talked about a lot and seems like such a common thing, in mature relationships (people older than high school), I don't think cheating is that common relative to the whole population of people in relationships. Secondly, assuming a woman did notice and care that her boyfriend/husband was withholding sex and she wasn't against cheating... she could get sex any time she wanted to as long as she is at least averagely decent looking.

    You make mention of the belief that women can get casual sex easier than men can. I hold that belief 100%. Just look around. Men, in general, are super-horny and are always hitting on women and trying to get sex. Every time a man leaves home, he's hoping he'll get sex somehow from some woman. Women, on the other hand, do not seem to be even remotely like this. In fact, women turn down flirtations and come-ons all the time. Every average woman probably has about 12 guys that know her that would screw her if given the chance. Seducing a man can be as easy as standing next to him. Getting a woman to want to have sex can be extremely tricky and difficult, even if the women in question is the man's wife.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you find yourself in a relationship that involves one partner trying to 'punish' or 'reward' the other (sexually or otherwise), perhaps a sexual relationship is wholly inappropriate, as psychologically that far more resembles a healthy parent-child relationship (or even owner-pet relationship) than one between two adults.

    Such a relationship is in all cases unhealthy, is such parent-child behavior will only occur if 1) one partner is immensely more mature than the other, such that a parent-child relationship is actually appropriate, or 2) at least one partner simply lacks the social mechanisms to deal with another human being as a rational equal rather than a thing to control. In either case, of course, the relationship should end immediately.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    no i have had sex with guys before when i am mad at them but just wanted sex and then fell back out with them again after. I just switch off to it whilst we are having sex and then be in a secret mood later lol!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Of course it would. It happens all the time. Women just have been more reluctant to engage in pre-marital sexual activity (for obvious reasons) IN THE PAST. hence the stereotype.

    See you don't know how much women want to have sex coz they don't go up to guys saying "wanna have sex?".

    coz of cultural stereotypes. I would never say this to a girl, but i know a guy who has (he was really drunk- he doesn't remember it). i'm sure loads of girls have thought it, just they'd never say it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    In Mexico men can be incarcerated for withholding sex from their wives when their wives demand it.

    Men don't place a greater emphasis on sex than women. This is a peculiar myth. The vast majority of men are deeply devoted to their wives or girlfriends but this is something that's dismissed as rubbish by feminists.

    As a result they continue to portray all men in the same monolithic way using arcane principles that have no scientific basis whatsoever simply to perpetuate the classic Dworkian principle that all sex is rape and all men are rapists.

  • 1 decade ago

    Um..heck yes it would matter to me. I don't do casual sex as a rule. If I'm not getting it in my relationship I'm not getting it period and I will be one angry woman.

  • 1 decade ago

    Witholding sex is a childish thing to do.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I have done, as a response to it been done to me, we are both headstrong people. It was a two month cold war that I eventually won but the whole thing was stupid.

    It is illegal for a man to withhold under VAWA in some countries. He can go to jail for it.

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