Does this count as cheating?

my bf and i are in this long distance relationship, he's working the south and i'm attending grad school in the north. a guy in my program invited me over for dinner twice and both times we ended up sleeping together on his bed fully clothed. we did not have sex, just cuddled close and slept. in fact we have never kissed each other or even touched each other in any suggestive way. and when we are lying on the bed we snuggle close to each other but never attempt to make out, but the funny thing is he does like to hold my hand while we slept. the weird thing is we are not romantically involved in any way, during the day we carry on with our own business and hardly see or talk to each other and in all honesty, he hardly even knows me outside of class. he is five years younger than i am and i kind of regard him as a little brother and hardly anyone i would consider having a relationship with. he does know that i have a boyfriend and even acknowledged that ware we are doing is weird (the whole sleeping over with the clothes on thing), but whenever i suggest that i leave he doesn't want me to and tells me to stay by his side. i have no intention of ever having sex with him and i think neither does he. i'm not his type and i think he might already have someone he likes even tho he says he is still single. i love my bf and what i can tell he loves me as well, and i would never cheat on him because his first and only gf (now his ex) had cheated on him before. he is my first bf so im relatively inexperienced in the relationship department. but i still feel guilty for what i did. it feels like im just sleeping with a teddy bear and doesn't feel like cheating at all, and i know for a fact i will never leave my bf for anyone right now, much less a guy who is younger than me. i'm not an insecure person who always needs to have a guy chasing after me, in fact i don't really much care for this guy, i am friendly with him but he is not special to me in any way, and i consider him just as another one of my acquatances and i think he thinks the same of me. he likes to hang out with his group of people and i hang out with mine, a few times he waited for me after class even though i never asked him to. and in front of others, we act as we normally do. he is friends with many girls in our class and i know he goes out with them for food and movies, but everytime he asks me to hang out with him we are always by ourselves. i know to an outsider we might be mistaken for a couple, but we are not, and never will be. he is rarely in my thoughts and is only someone to have dinner with when i have time. but we realize what we are doing is stil very weird, i myself don't understand it. i feel comfortable around him because he has never once made any sexual advances towards me and besides holding hands when we're sleeping he never once tried to touch me in any inappropriate ways because like i said, he knows i have a bf. i don't know if he is that way with all the girls he meets, but frankly i couldn't care less since im not romantically interested in him. he's just another friend, he is cute and intelligent, popular with the ladies and a pretty nice guy in general, but not someone i'd leave for my bf whom i have known since high school anyways, sorry for the long paragraph, it's a confusing thing we are doing and i'm just trying to sort it out. i don't want to confront him about it because i dont want to make a big deal out of it since it really isn't it. im not emotionally attached to him and neither is he to me, and this emotional distance is the best thing i like about us. but i still want to make sure that what we regard as a simple friendship is not mis-interpreted by others as anything more. of course if he gets smart on me and ever starts to ask for anything more than what we are already doing, i'm pretty sure i will cut him off for good. which is a shame because i like his company, just not in that way.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    kind of sounds to me that it is possible that something is growing..but cheating so FAR...no

  • 1 decade ago

    seriously, that's way too long to read all the way through! However I get the gist. Anyway, the whole cheating matter really depends upon whether your feelings have changed towards your fella that's away from you at the mo. Cheating is a classification for intimate feelings not just actions that harm or hinder your current relationship, and I suppose that if your fella knew about it, he would prob get jealous, in which case then it's wrong and falls into the cheating class, however since no sexual acts have been exchanged it can't physically be called that. I woudl generally say that if you feel it is, then it is. P.S. You might want to give the cliff notes version next time, so more peeps don't get put off. xx good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    I know you dont think of him as anything more than just a friend, but i know if i found out my girlfriend was sleeping with another guy even though nothing was happening i would be very upset with her and feel very betrayed. Im sure you can still hang out and talk with him...but the sleeping together should really stop.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just ask yourself how your boyfriend would feel if he read this.

    Or how you would feel if he had a little female 'teddy bear' to comfort his nights.

    Enough said.

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