Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How should you deal with an angry and bitter person? Especially when the person is your mother?

Hi I am 25 years old and I need advice on how to deal with my bitter mother.

I have two siblings, a brother and a sisters (in that order). Me and my brother have the same father. My father left my mother and married another woman before my brother was born, he then had a son with her two weeks after my brother was born. My sister's father also left her right after she was born. For years me and my brother have experienced unfair treatment from my mother (my sister is her favorite). While growing up I think my brother got it the worst, she would always tell him men were no good and that he would never amount to anything. I tried my best to stay out of her way, I escaped through reading (I'm a book worm). She never talked to us or told us she loved us she just screamed complain and told us constantly how she wish she never had us. Needless to say growing up in this type of environment we made some mistakes in our teen years. My brother went to jail at 17, I got pregnant at 16 and my sister became a lesbian.

I finished school, went to college graduated with my bachelors and now I am working on my master's degree. My undergraduate years were really difficult for me I was a new mom and in college I hadn't recieve any advice about life or anything from my parents and I also had no financial support or emotional support. I was on my own in this new world. I did farely well in undergrad once I made the dean's list and told her I thought she would be proud but she told me that I must have had some easy classes. She also bought my sister two cars and wouldn't even help me get one. When my brother went to jail she wouldn't even go see him or got to this court dates I was there I gave him money if I had it when I could. To this day she still gives my sister special treatment even though she is rude to her, dropped out of college and can't keep a job.

Long story short, I grew up feeling inadequate and resenting my mother. I have since moved on from that and I have become a strong, beautiful, ambitious and loving person. I try my hardest to be different from her I want to live my life to the fullest and be loving and kind. I would like to have a relationship with her but she just so evil and mean. Should I just stay away from her?

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Aww i'm so sorry about her because you've tried so hard and i understand it's hard to please parents. Well done on not being just another statistic and managing to raise a child and graduate and continue your education on to Master's level!

    I think she's so negative towards men because of what's happened and i'm sure she's been hurt too. I don't think you should just shut her out of your life but she certainly needs to be shown how she's acting is wrong.

  • 4 years ago

    I don't believe that it's anything you're doing wrong. You just graduated from college and usually, parents are happy about that but not once did you mention her being happy about that. I think she's depressed. Maybe she feels that her life was wasted because she had to raise you and your siblings. Really, it is not any of your faults. You didn't ask her to have you. If she didn't want children, she could have easily made sure that didn't happen. Her unhappiness is her fault. Everyone is responsible for themselves. She probably feels that her life could have been different. But that's how it is for everyone. Everyone's lives could have been different. The sad thing is that even if you call her out on her attitude, she won't admit that she is wrong for blaming you and your siblings until she decides to own up to it. I am sure a part her knows that her unhappiness has nothing to do with you and your siblings. Sometimes, it feels good to lay the blame on someone else because being responsible for oneself means accepting blame and experiencing humility and shame. I kind of pity your mom. You know what kind of person you are and I think you have enough sense to know right from wrong. So whenever she says something negative, remember that even if it was your fault, you're at least trying to make it better. Your mother, on the other hand, isn't. And that's what makes you a better person and a good daughter.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    shoot if your mother treats you and your bro that disrespectfuly then yeah stay away from her if she doesn't want anything to do with you then stay away. I'm sorry no one should ever be treated that way. Its sooooo Sad

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