How long does sex take for the average married couple?

How long does sex take for the average married couple?

My fiancé and I have sex for almost an hour and a half. With different positions whatever. But after awhile I get a bit sore like I am rubbed raw. How can I reduce the amount of times we have sex in each instance, without hurting his feelings or giving him the fear that I will be withdrawn when it comes to sex once we get married.

I LOVE having sex with him and it is NEVER boring for me. But I think I have a bit of ADD and after an hour, I want to do something else. I love him and I love having sex with him. But it is a bit too long for me and because we live together it is also very often (The frequency I don’t have a problem with. Everyday is good for me but just not all day long).

How can I assure him a sexually active marriage and at the same time ask him if we can reduce the time we take in the bedroom?

27 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I had a similar problem. My fiance goes for a lot longer than I would like to. I started being honest with him and we would do it to the point i was raw and you could see it,I would tell him that I was sore and that we needed to take a break then I would show it to him ( my privet area would turn beat red and you could obviously tell it was very sore ) he always understood and would say something cute like " I don't want to hurt you baby I'm sorry"

    So he knows that your not losing interest and that the sex life isn't going to die, try being the aggressor, initiate the sex before he does, grab him when he gets home from work, or while hes sitting on the couch, make sure you appear to still be very interested in it, but you just can't go for that long.

    It should work it did for me! Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I understand you are looking for a market reasearch rationale, but when it comes to the human mind (the PRIMARY sexual organ, mind you) there is no average as everyone is different. Thus 2 of these minds create an even different result than they would have single or with another mind. There is no normal, no average, no limit, and no rock bottom. Only possibilities. Communication will help your predicament. A HEATHY (a better term to use here) sexual relationship should be based on what all parties involved desire, and a compromise between them, until that grows into a new routine that is unique to that couple.

    Innit was on the right track...time will cool things down a bit. not always in a negetive way, but things do change and habits change with the times. children and career(s) factor alot into that.

    I will admit that my perception on this subject is "whatever she wants",

    as I can go as long or as quick as the situation entails. quickies can be fun, when time isn't available. and some romatic nights just end up in daylight pillowtalk. anywhere from 20 min to 3 1/2 hours. and everywhere in between. ( i do feel bad for those who don't make at least make it into this large span, and remember that there are women who's problem is there husband doesn't offer any sex worth speaking of. so you don't have it that bad...)

    The intamacy is what is important. talk to him. let him know when you are "spent". offer oral so he gets the "round third and 'head' for home" signal. or find a way to make him spill when you want him to. talk dirty, massage surrounding pubic areas, "get louder", etc.

    for further intelligent reading on the subject, I reccomend the kamma sutra.

  • 1 decade ago

    well you know you can buy ky jell that will help with the rubbed raw pain

    it will help allot let me tell you the drug store has many kinds for you

    to try. As for sex all day long are you sure he's not taking them blue pills and using them on you.I have made a date night for all night romance

    as I would never let a boyfriend hurt me and cause me pain down there.

    But I don't believe in sex before marriage so yes I am married and can talk with my husband about anything even this as if we were to not have our date night things would get pretty boring for me and him same old same old leaving you in pain.Working and paying the bills is a good way to spend all this energy.Plus a romantic Saturday night is really nice for me and him as I dance for him and we have a few glasses of wine and talk between then make more love then rest then talk and have other glass of wine with the music playing till morning but you can make sure there is ky jell in our bedroom and different kinds too.

    but we just don't make love once a week we love each when ever we want during the wk but never all night not till date night and we both look forward to out date night together and our long talks and he just loves my dancing for him too!

    Source(s): Married life is grand.
  • 1 decade ago

    Not including the "warming" up it's about 10 minutes, and that's good enough for me... obviously some night's it'll go longer, but usually I"m pretty tired (we have a 16 month old) and I work all day... I haven't had sex for an 1 1/2 for a very long time.. .but I remember it hurting... just be honest with him... when it even starts to hurt just let him know, cause the longer he goes the more sore you're going to be.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Either he has some sort of a sexual dysfunction that prevents him from getting an orgasm in a reasonable amount of time... Or he's trying to impress you, and obviously is not attuned to your needs. You need to talk to the guy honestly. It's always best to bring it up than to just pretend that this is what you want when in reality you are turned off. Some people are better at reading the non-verbal clues, and others need to be guided in a more direct manner. Talk to him, see whatsup. It shouldn't take a healthy guy an hour and a half to bring himself to orgasm.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you count the foreplay we have about 2 hours into it.The time we spend Intimately connected is about 30 to 40 minutes.My wife seems to set the mood for how soon we finish,she does some things that really get me wild and well you know.We are older and it is more Intimate as you age and takes longer to satisfy each other.Much better then when i was 17. LOL

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Your husband might have delayed ejaculation, or ED. This is often caused by a lack of penile sensitivity. But an easy way for him to restore lost feeling down there is by using a penis health creme that contains acetyl L carnitine. This is just an amino acid that repairs damaged nerve endings and is completely safe. A creme like this worked for me... check it out.

  • 1 decade ago

    An hour and a half? OMG. I would die. For us, if it's not done in 20 min, we both get bored and move on. Just talk to your fiancé at an opportune moment (outside the bedroom); tell him how you feel. I told my husband straight-up that I don't need some long protracted thing, I get bored easily. He's fine with it. You need to be able to talk about your sexual needs.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are wishing to continue for the entire episode, consider using lube. If you want to shorten the time...find out what really pushes him over the the limit and consider breaking down barriers if it is too taboo for you. Do what it takes to push him over the top...the sooner he reaches that moment, enjoy it with him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell him to stop using any products that will numb the pen*s and he will be averaging 20-30 minutes like most men. BTW, the excessive use of this product will damage your V. You are too young to receive treatment for down there.

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