Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 decade ago

If a guy is abusive and you obey him will he stop?

If a guy is abusive and you obey him will he stop?

like lets say its the beggining of the relationship, he acts very jellous, wants to be with you ALL the time and controlls you. now if you obey him and stay indoors be with only him etc, will he stop? could he be abusive because your not giving him the attention he needs? im just curious here?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    No way! i was with an abusive partner for 3 years and i did obey him because i was so frightened all the time but i became trapped and depressed i lost all my friends.

    i obeyed him but because of his insecurities he still found things to pick on whether it be how i looked at some guy on the television or split milk.

    I told myself it would change and he would change and that one day i might be happy but it didn't and he is still like that today(as i have heard anyway) but i left him and i got my life back!

    you have no self respect if you stay with a dude like that i have just got my self respect back after 4 years of not being with the abusive guy.

    Some women are brought up to to be loyal like a dog and obey their partner like they did there dad! (my dad was abusive so i didnt know any better)

    No the abuse wont stop get out of there or tell them to get out of there whoever she is.

    PEACE goodluck hope i helped :)

    Source(s): self experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Kelsey, I'm afraid it will only get worse. Usually it does. My friend is going through the same, except for her it has already worsened to the level of physical violence. Leave now that you still can, and use all the support from your friends and family. Staying in a abusive relationship will only destroy your self-esteem and possibly risk your life. Control is not true love, true love is not control.

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  • indigo
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Lol. No

    What happens is, he sees where your limit is, and what he has to do to make you give in. Gradually he will increase the limit until either you leave or you get killed.

    There is NO making them happy, they constantly seek to up that control gradient. They will FIND something to be unhappy about to justify the abuse. All of the attention in the world won't fix it, he wants absolute, total control.

    Google "abusive relationships.." your lack of information is scary, and, well, you could get seriously hurt. Relationships are not all about "giving him the attention he needs" they're supposed to be a partnership based on love....

    Source(s): been there, done that, found out the hard way there's no way to make him happy
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  • 1 decade ago

    If a guy is physically abusive nothing you do alone will change him. Only punishment or counseling will change him. If he is overly controlling (abusive) your compliance may help the situation, but not likely. Jealousy is normal, but over reacting to this jealousy is due to emotional immaturity. The person is plain stupid. As people mature they learn to control their jealousy and other emotions such as anger. That immature person may just need time to grow up, but don't let them control your life and make you unhappy and depressed. Always seek counseling and if it does not work split up.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Usually, people who are abusive are that way because they have psychological problems.

    Whatever the object of the abuse does will not stop it, because in the abuser's mind it will never be enough.

    In fact, 'obeying' an abuser can lead to the situation escalating into more violent and dangerous abuse.

    People who are being abused can contact the links below, and talk with people who will respect their privacy and who can offer practical, usefiul advice and help.

    The services are free.

    I've also provided a link to where you can get more information about abuse and how it 'works'.

    Best wishes :-)

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  • 1 decade ago

    If a man is so jealous that he can't stand you having any contact with other people at all, then he is not a good prospect for a relationship. I would not advise staying with this man. Unless of course you are so besotted with him that you genuinely don't mind seeing nobody except him all the time. But I can't help feeling that this would get a bit tedious after a while.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The answer to all of your questions is no.

    Obedience is not based upon control, nor is it based upon fear.

    I'm obedient I obey not out of fear, I obey because I have been given a task to do. I never obey because I want to please and appease. The way I look at it it's bogus to please and appease those who cannot do so for themselves. So, what I do is concentrate upon the task at hand; for example, my tasks consist of various things, such as typing, filing and that sort of thing; a sort to thing that never warrants fear. I have been told to file all of our important papers and bills, which I have obeyed. Now when we need a bill or an important bill I know just exactly where it is. The worse case scenario if I didn't listen I'd be asking for trouble all on my own; for instance not knowing where important papers are when they've been asked for may cause me to pull out my hair in utter frustration. I've also been told to retype "Giant Steps" because my husband, who loves to help people, feels he will have a need for it somewhere down the road. So, whenever I can I work on it. Again I say obedience is not based upon fear; just as it's not based upon control.

    No one can obey the emotions, whims and thoughts of another; however, you may submit to them. The main goal of a submissive person is please and appease; many do not obey.

    I know of woman, her husband told her right out he wanted her obedient; she fought him long and hard, after a series of beatings she finally submitted. Later on she still didn't want to obey him, and she didn't want to get beat any more, so she began making deals with him; deals he soon took advantage of.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    no he wont stop

    if you obey him he will think he has control over you.

    he will keep pushing the limits

    if he is abusive and it gets worse get yourself out of the relationship

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  • 1 decade ago

    No prob not he just wants to dominate an no matter what you do will change that. An I don't mean you as if your being abused.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No. All that you are doing is sending him the message that his controlling tactics are working on you.

    The longer you wait to get out of that kind of relationship, the harder it will be to get out of it later. Don't wait until you are completely isolated.

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