Know any funny lame jokes?

i enjoy lame jokes...

what are some that you know?

Update:

Jen: i dont get it....

but i'm slow... so that might be why

Update 2:

wolverine: okkkk

that wasn't funny either to me

Update 3:

emkgirl:

LOL

that actually mad me laugh

those are the kind of jokes i like lmao

Update 4:

sophia: hahahaha i got it

it didnt make me LOL though

Update 5:

marissa: i didnt get itt

i might of not read it that closely

spikematsumoto: that was PRETTYY lame

& i didnt get that

Update 6:

melissuhjoy.: LOL i got that.....

how funny w/ the wordd

I have to read it 2 times lmao

Update 7:

randomvirgo: that wasn't funny

saberista: i dont get it... but i mighttt

i'm confused by it LOL

Update 8:

<3bella<3: that wasnt funny.. i'm soorryy

but the laffy taffy candies's jokes arn't that funny anyways

Update 9:

lehshark:

i didnt get most of them.. but i dont watch the news

but the only on that kinda made me laugh was the china babies one

12 Answers

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  • Best Answer

    haha this one makes me laugh all the time!!!!!!!!

    man walks into the doctors office and says "doctor! doctor! can you get this steering wheel out of my pants? its driving me nuts!"

    hope you like it as much as me :p =D

    Source(s): haha im v. slow too :p
  • Jen
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    this joke CRACKS ME UP. i hpe you like it!!

    Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar in Minnesota.

    Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly watching.

    After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.

    At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.

    The police officer having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.

    To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence that the man consumed alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

  • 1 decade ago

    me and a cuple of frends made these:

    wat did hizzbullah say to isreal?

    hes-a-bully

    whats hizbullahs sisters name?

    shes a bullah

    (requires u to have watched the news at the time)

    where do chinese babies come from?

    from a va-china

    why do gangsters people wear their jeans so low?

    because their knee-grows

    what do u call an asian in mud?

    invisible

    what did the samosa say to the man?

    do u want some more sir? -lol

    whats brown and sticky?

    a tamil- lol

    how does a whale travel?

    on the whale way track

    what do u do with a dog with no legs?

    u take it out for a drag

    what do u call a group of chinese people walking towards u?

    sunset

    what do u call a group of asians runing towards u?

    a mud slide

    what do u call a group of black people walking away from you?

    phew!

    what do u call it wen a white person gives u a bath?

    a white wash?

    Source(s): plz dnt take offense to some of the jokes...
  • For several years, an American man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

    One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

    If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

    One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

    'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

    On the card was written:

    'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

    Three with meatballs, two without.

    'Send extra sauce

    Source(s): lol i got it off a bulletin on myspace.
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  • 1 decade ago

    There was a woman with a wooden eye who was really self-conscious about the way she looked to others. She was going out with some friends of hers for the first time in months. They walk in the bar and there is this gorgeous guy sitting on a stool. She notices that he has a wooden leg. The lady immediately snags the seat next to him and makes conversation with the guy. After a few bad jokes and loud laughter, she slyly asks, "Would you like to buy me a drink?" He answers,"Would I.....WOULD I??"

    And she shouts "PEG LEG! PEG LEG!"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Once there was a farmer, and he had three daughters.

    Each of them had a date one night, but the farmer had a rule-he had to meet the boy first to see if he was good enough for his daughter.

    The first date showed up. He said:

    "Hi, my name is Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?"

    "No," the farmer answered.

    The second boy showed up. He said:

    "Hey, I'm Joe. I'm picking up Flo. We're gonna see a show. Is she ready to go?"

    "No," the farmer answered.

    The third guy showed up. He said:

    "Hi there, my name is Chuck."

    The farmer shot Chuck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Bella , Ella and Stella took a test together. only one of them got an "A" for the test. which one?

    Ans: Ella (according to Rihanna's "umbrella")

    am i lame or am I Lame?

  • 1 decade ago

    What is the penalty for bigamy?

    Two mothers-in-law. Zing!

  • 1 decade ago

    a dead person has a cough

    and the alive dude says

    "whos that caughing???"

    haha i got it off a laffy taffy wrapper

    hhaha

    mine???

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmiJw...

  • 1 decade ago

    i got this from reader's digest.....................

    Thinking no one is home a robber breaks into a house,only to find the frightened owners in bed watching TV.

    "what's your name?"he says menacingly to the wife at gunpoint

    "E-E-Elizabeth,"she says.

    "this is your lucky day,"he says."i can't shoot anyone named Elizabeth because that was my dear mother's name."

    he turns to the husband."what's your name?"

    "my name's Harry,"says the man."But everyone calls me.......ELIZABETH!!!!!"

    ______________________________________...

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