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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

我自己寫了一篇英文作文想請大大檢查,順便想請教大大怎麼縮短?

原題目有給一些東西要我們自己發揮寫一篇作文

Ways to keep in good shape:

.quit smoking

.eat healthy foods

.exercise daily

.get enough sleep

我後來寫了,可是發現太長了(我們寫作課算是中級的,這樣太多了),大致上Word的文法處理沒有出現問題,但Word其實有時仍沒有完全抓出真正英文文法的錯誤,所以想請教大大們能否幫忙校正,並把這篇想辦法縮短,這好像快300字了,我也不曉得怎麼這麼長= =,如果大大覺得文章太長,點數太少,就找幾個伙伴來贊助一下吧!我沒有手機認證,沒辦法贊助,抱歉!

以下是所寫的作文:

               How to keep in good shape

  Nowadays, more and more people care about their shape, and try to look for a plenty of ways to keep in good shape. There are some common ways as follows:

  For one thing, you have to quit smoking. Many researches show that smoking is one of reasons which get cancer, and cigarette includes forty-three substances of bringing about cancer. Besides, they will make you breathe difficultly while doing exercise. Even they can let you be aged. This is really a terrible thing. Therefore, if you can avoid it, you will protect yourself.

  In addition, we get so enough sleep that our body can going on operating. For Chinese, liver decease is the easiest ignore. We usually work from morning to night, even we must work overtime to make us too nervous to fall asleep. Even if you can earn much money, your body may have been too bad. So we should have a habit of going to bed on time to improve our body.

  Also, we should exercise daily, especially doing aerobic exercise, it can improve oxygen consumption by the body, and reduce the probability of death due to cardiovascular problems.

  The most important of all is to eat healthy foods, someone has ever said:” Illness finds its way in by the mouth.” Particularly vendors at the roadside, they often use some overdue oil to cook their foods. Once you eat them a lot, your body will be uncomfortable, and then you want to vomit. Worst of all, you will get food poisoning. In any case, we should be sure that these foods are secure, and we can get some nutrition what we need to help us stay a good condition.

  To sum up, we really take good care of our health, and use these ways as above to keep in good shape.

2 Answers

Rating
  • Mike
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Good job writing the essay! Too many people here just ask others to write one without trying first.

    I shortened your essay a bit and took the liberty to modify it for better flow. Hope you like it.

    ==========

    How to Stay in Good Shape

    People nowadays care more and more about their health, and are always looking for ways to keep their bodies in good shape. I have a few simple suggestions to make it work:

    For one thing, you must quit smoking. Research has shown that smoking causes cancer and cigarette smoke contains at least 43 known carcinogens. Smoking also makes breathing difficult when exercising and accelerates aging.

    A good night's sleep can also do wonders for our body. Too many people work such long hours that when we they go to bed they can't relax and fall asleep. What good does all that hard-earned money do when you're not healthy enough to enjoy it?

    Daily exercise is important too. Besides burning off excess calories we take in and keeping us slim, aerobic exercise, when done consistently, can greatly reduce the risk of cardiovascular problems.

    But most important of all is to eat a healthy diet. Chinese has a saying, "Illness finds its way in by the mouth", but many of us just can't resist those street vendors selling deep-fried foods cooked in stale, recycled oil. Without proper nutrition, our body can't function and stay healthy, therefore it is very important to watch what we eat and how we eat.

    Staying in shape and in good health is simple, we just need to follow these suggestions and better take care of ourselves.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Nowadays, more and more people care about their shape, and try many ways to keep in good shape. There are some common ways as follows:

      Firstly, you must quit smoking. Many researches show that smoking is one of the reasons to cause cancer due to cigarette includes forty-three substances of bringing about cancer. Besides, they will make you breathe difficultly while doing exercise and let you be aged. It is really a terrible. Therefore you should avoid it to protect yourself.

      In addition, enough sleep can keep our body operating normally. For Chinese, liver decease is easy to be ignored. We usually work too much time to make us too nervous to fall asleep. Earn the money, but loss the health. So we should always go to bed on time to improve our health.

      Also, we should do exercise daily, especially the aerobic exercise, it can improve oxygen consumption by the body, and reduce the probability of death due to cardiovascular problems.

      To eat healthy foods is also important, someone had ever said:” Illness finds its way into the mouth.” Particularly vendors at the roadside who often use some overdue oil to cook. Once you eat too much you will feel uncomfortable and want to vomit. Worstly, the food will be poisoned. In any case, we should be sure that these foods are secure and provide us enough nutrition to help us staying a good condition.

      To sum up, we really take good care of our health, and use the above ways to keep in good shape

    ***其實你自己已經寫得不錯了

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
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