I'm interested in my brother's friend?
This isn’t like its some grade school crush either. My brother is 25 and his friend is 23. We all at one point have gone to the same college. My brother graduated the spring before I started, and his friend and me are both still in school. I go to a lot of concerts with my brother and this friend is one of his concert buddies. So I’ve actually known this friend since I was either 17 or 18. I knew that I was attracted to him right away, but didn’t think much of it since he was in college and I was still in high school. I’m 21 now, by the way.
I go with my brother to a lot of concerts since none of my friends really have the same taste in music. We tend to go to a lot of rock/metal concerts. Most of my friends refer to this as “noise.” So whenever I go to these concerts, it’s with my brother and often this friend. We have the same taste in music, but we also have the same political views which is awesome, because in this area we are the minority party, especially among fellow students. We see each other on campus and talk to each other. We’ve run into each other in the dining hall and have had dinner several times by chance. I didn’t even know what Facebook was till I got to college, and once I got an account, he was one of the first people that added me as a friend.
He’s just a sweet, nice guy in general. He doesn’t drink, which is pretty cool. I’ve only turned 21 this year, but I don’t go out to the bars much, or drink much for that matter because I’m on a college sports team. I’m not too fond of drinking anyway. When I have drank, it wasn’t to the point of severe intoxication, but enough to the point I’m doing things I normally wouldn’t do. I don’t mean like waking up in someone else’s bed or anything of the sort, just being loud and obnoxious. I don’t like to represent myself in such a manner. I’d be embarrassed if someone saw me like that and came up to me and asked “hey, aren’t you on the soccer team?” So drinking’s something I could live without and it would be nice not to have anyone that was an alcohol pusher. When he does go to the bars, he orders soda and saves the tabs off the cans and gives them to his niece for whose school collects them. For every tab some charity gives money towards a cause; I think it’s the Ronald McDonald House. Awwww!
I just don’t know and can’t really tell if I’m his type. He’s a proclaimed “straight edge,” which means he doesn’t drink or do drugs or participate in risky behavior that could put himself in harm, and they dress hard core punk (yes, I looked up what it meant!) Not to stereotype either, but he does wear a lot of black. I’m from a rural farm town so I tend to have more of the country girl look going on. The reason I have no way of knowing if he’s even interested is because he’s not going to make a pass at his friend’s sister out of respect.
I’m stuck about what to do. And I’m not sure how the whole “dating sibling’s friend” rules come in to affect and what they are. Hell, I’m not even that good at or experienced with dating. The only boyfriend I’ve had was my childhood friend. We hung out every day after school, and then when we got older just started dating. I already knew him so there was none of the “getting to know each other, flirting” phase because we’ve been friend since kindergarten. I don’t know what to do about my brother. I can’t just tell him I like his friend, that would be a bit forward. Also, he might getting freaked out and not invite me to anymore concerts with him and the friend. Or…maybe he would be glad I’d be with someone he obviously approves. My brother and I are surprisingly close for siblings. He is one of my best friends and whoever I end up dating; I’d like my date and brother to get along. He never really liked my boyfriend from home. Is there a casual way I could say something to the fact that I thought his friend was a great guy, I can’t believe he’s single, I wish I could meet someone as cool as him, ect? Even though my brother and I are close friends, we tend not to talk about dating experiences. For example, he lived with his girlfriend for a year and then she moved out. He never told the family, we just assumed they broke up. Then later on he was going to concerts with the girl and I finally asked him if they were still dating (which they weren’t). Not that it’s any of my business, I just wanted to know.
I’m not sure of the dating rules when or how I could even get a shot with him, but if you have any suggestions or advice I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks.