Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

1st time pregnancy with a man who already has 2 kids and was married before any advice?

Met my love at 22, was always a person to date men without kids ( but not this time being he was honest frm the start). Hes 26 with two kids with a women 14 yrs older then him. Was married before to her for only one yr. Hes been divorce for almost 4 yrs. Anyways we currently live to gather and will be having my 1st child with him ( his 3rd). He currently took in his son in since the ex says its stressful taken care of two kids..plus they don't listen...so now its me him and his kid. He currently does not work..being his US status.so he just hustles...chill...go out three days a week and take care of his son...while I work full-time and due at the beginning of next year. Its hard when all was good at the start..sometimes I wish my mom was alive to give me advice...but sometimes I think hes not honest...plus his ex does to much..and I still think he has not told her about having another child on the way...he claims he love me..but he does not seem over excited about the baby like I am...I told him sometimes I wish I was not pregnant by him (which I know is immature and mean) but its just how I feel really by myself...he has not been to or offered to come to any doctors appointment with me...its like I have to tell him to do things with me...allot of times I cry...but know I wont be alone regardless of what happens..I know this is pretty long...but any advice is good advice. I just always imagine my 1st pregnancy exciting with the one I love....

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  • Favorite Answer

    my advice is get a new man

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    First, dont' let your Christian beliefs determine the compatibility of the relationship. It's only a small piece of the bigger picture. It's indictative by you two being together for 3 years. That's a real long time. He's probably a believer also but he has one chink in that armor ... he past marriage. I'm Catholic but also believe that marriage is a gift of union in the eyes of God, professed in front of family and friends. A divorce shatters that image and along with it all the things a marriage was meant to be in heart and mind. That includes the subject of children. What should you expect? No different than a man who never was married or has kids. Period. He's a human being. The best thing I've see is that you have seen the good in his heart. Let him know that. He probably questions his ability to be a good husband, father, or lover because of the "failure" he experienced. It's true. He may say, "Ive already done all that stuff" but tell him not with you. And that's what the future will be about ... you two. Yes the kids will be there but it still is just you two. You may need some outside intervention: a priest, therapist, counselor. Honestly, I believe it can work and God has crossed your paths for a reason. But God only helps those who help themselves, right?

  • 1 decade ago

    How about you don't get with guys like that? There's sooooo much better!

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