Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 1 decade ago

what do i do if she is pregnant?

my bff is thinks she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. he father is a crazy christian and her mom doent give a **** about her. I want to help her but i dont know how. NO STUPID ANSWERS!!

1. Abortion is not an option

2. I am not telling her parents

3. HELP!

Update:

she is 14 and as i said, ABORTION IS NOT I SAID NOT AN OPTION!!!!!! i will be there, also, does anyone know a place to get a pregnacy test in Augusta, maine by a doctor without needing to tell ur parents??

Update 2:

I am also a girl but i am a virgan and have no idea about being pregnant...

Update 3:

her DAD is the crazy christian not the asshole who made her pregnant

Update 4:

i am a christians and i am against abortions, plus she had an abortion for untold reason that i will not share with strangers and she hated it. The worst thing she would ever do and wont do it again.

Update 5:

thanks for the help;c

Update 6:

the father is in alaska now and please dont tell me it is not my problem no matter what i will be there. And she will love the baby,

Update 7:

she is pregnant

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If she is 14 she needs to speak to someone and being her friend you should be encouraging her to talk to her parents. Pregnancy is a serious matter and bringing a child into the world unloved because someone didn't want to get an abortion is wrong.

    You really need to consider how this will affect everyone, does the person who got her pregnant know there is a possiblity he could become a father? Maybe she can tell his parents and they might be able to help.

    Stay calm and really think what is the best for everyone, you don't have to be brave and neither does she. Just think about it realisticly.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It sounds like you are a good friend. That's really all that you can do, be a good friend. She will need a lot of support. Maybe you could offer to help her write out what she will say to her parents? She will have to tell them. If it's a bad situation maybe she should tell them with another adult she trusts present who can "mediate" the situation.

    She will have to go to a doctor. She will need prenatal care as soon as possible so that her baby will be born healthy. (The doctor can also help her create a more effective birth control plan so that she doesn't have another unplanned pregnancy.) She can go to a clinic to get checked out by a doctor. I don't think that they have to notify her parents. She can call and anonymously ask about their parental notification policy just in case. The closest one is about thirty miles away, it's called Topsham Health Center. Here's the phone number: (207) 725-8264 and address: 4 Bowdoin Mill Island, Cleveland House, Suite 101, Topsham, ME.

    If she is pregnant, things will be hard for her. People may judge her so make sure to remind her that she has every right to keep her head held high. Her body will change a lot. She will probably be scared. You could offer to read books on pregnancy together so that she knows what to expect. Also, listening will go a long way. Her emotions right now must be overwhelming. She's lucky to have a friend like you.

  • Well, you just need to be there to support her as much as possible. So, she is 14 and been pregnant twice??? Hmmmm.....I suggest taking a home pregnancy test. Also, her father maybe understanding and at least supportive. I'm a Christian too and I understand that we believe you are not suppose to have sex before marriage (although many, including me do/did). However, just because we recognize it as being wrong does not mean that her dad is going to stone her. Are you close to your parents? Maybe you should talk to your mom/dad or aunt or sister...whoever you usually turn to for support. They might can guide you in the right direction and maybe even be there for her too in case her family decides not to be. She is going to have to come clean with her dad at some point, you cant hide a pregnancy forever. What she needs to decide is if she is going to keep the baby herself (which is a huge task for a 14 year old) or give it up for adoption. There are Christian adoption services. Since you guys are Christians, I don't need to tell you to start out by praying about it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well first of all, if abortion is not an option then I suggest that she tells her dad. I am sure sooner or later he would notice....It is good that she is keeping her child, I am against abortion too. If her dad is so christian then hopefully her would love her no matter what and would help her through it. You should also tell your mom so if she gets kicked out of her house she can stay with you for a while. When one of my friends got pregnant I told her that my mom and I would help her raise the child and she would not be alone. Also, has she talked to the father of the child about this? He should hopefully help too.

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  • 4 years ago

    Hey dont fear I had intercourse w plenty of men too BT fortunate I hvent gotten pregnant do not concentrate to every person who is attempting to place u down good first do not believe approximately ur faith it is excellent anything u are the whole thing makes mistake there's a experiment u cannot take to examine who the daddy is and if u r from round right here there's a hospital in monterey in which u can pass by myself and UR mom and dad do not need to be contain they would possibly not name or whatever it is all a secrete I propose there and I m towards abortion bf they'll stick anything matters throgh UR vigin ms begin to tug the youngster in portions relies how ancient they're and for the reason that ur relatively small in weight bt tall u would possibly not develop as so much belly ur belly will appear rather small so do not fear approximately gaining weight Good good fortune

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi There,

    Firstly, I think it's important for your friend to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether she is or not. If she can not afford one, these are free from most doctors in a urine and blood form.

    It's really lovely to see that you are so concerned about your friend, however this is a mess that she has gotten herself into, and therefore will need to speak to her parents whenever she is ready. Whether she likes it or not, sooner or later they WILL find out! She will need your support, so keep being there for her as long as she needs you.

    These matters can often be quite sensitive for parents, so it's important to give her family some space once the news is broken. You being there while she told her parents, wouldn't be the best option.

    There are plenty of free counselling services available too, have a search on the internet. She may wish to use one of these, as they're free and confidential.

    Best of luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can't help her. This is her own issue. The only thing you can really do is buy her a pregnancy test if she can't herself. If she is pregnant, she can deal with the consequences of her actions by herself. Just don't tell anyone, let her make the announcements. The sooner she tells her parents, the sooner they will adjust to the idea and start helping her. If she waits too long, they will be upset that she is so far into the pregnancy and lied to them, and then she won't get the baby shower she probably would have otherwise, and won't get as much emotional support. And who can blame them, after being lied to like that? Her parents will be forced to deal with it eventually, if they are expected to house the baby, babysit it while your friend's in school, and help financially. IF your friend is pregnant, she has a lot of growing up to do and will need positive support. She should not deny being pregnant to anyone, because EVERYONE will find out when she's got a huge stomach and then a child for the rest of her life, so she wouldn't want to be labeled as a liar. She had sex, she can deal with the aftermath of not using birth control. No one is telling you to tell her parents, because it's not your place to do so. SHE should tell her parents. And also, please do not use the word 'christian' as derogatory. It is quite offensive.

    Good luck to your friend. There's a good chance she's not pregnant anyway. If not, this scare should wake her up. Excuse my bluntness, but she needs to learn to keep her legs closed or to use birth control if she's going to freak out after a surprise teen pregnancy. If she is pregnant, DO NOT BE THERE when she tells her parents. That is a family discussion and will be made worse if they learn that they weren't the first to know. just go to walmart and buy a test. Get one with two in it, and tell her to read the directions. Remember that this is her life and her body, so do not try to take over. The father of the baby needs to be told. He should be the one in the emergency room when the baby is born, along with her parents. if your friend's parents will not support her, the father's parents might. It is equally his baby, and you should encourage her to tell him what has happened, and let the two of them deal with this, not you. I know you mean well, but it really is up to the parents of the baby as to what they do. If you are too pushy during the pregnancy, she might not want you around the baby, for fear that you will want to babydoll it and try to take over. So just chill out.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well first she needs to take a test. She may be stressing for nothing. IF she is pg then she will have to tell her parents that is not something she will be able to hide forever. All you can do is just be there for her. And let her know that everything will be ok. If she is pg she needs to see a doctor ASAP. Good prenatal care is very important. I hope this helps.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Don't Christians believe in abstinence too? If you're gonna throw one of your fundamental beliefs out the window, why not ignore the 'no abortion' part too.

    Ok, anyways, my advice is talk to the father. Like, the baby's father. Then go from there.

  • 1 decade ago

    It would probably be better if she tells her dad and gets help the only thing you can really do is be a friend stand by her and support her no matter what her decision is

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