my boyfriends mom is a Jehovah and she doesnt believe in dating until marrige.?
My boyfriend is 18 and she say's he's too young to date. We both feel we're in love. I always say she's not dating me, he is. Should we end things?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
WARNING: LONG WINDED OLD FART
She is correct from more than just a religious point of view. You're not going to like what I'm going to say, but I ask you to please consider it. I've worked with divorced and single fathers for 20 years and I've seen the problems from dating at that age. I will conclude it though with a possible solution that she may consider.
First, do you know why you are considered an adult at age 18? Because the boys have it. Why do they have it? Because they can be drafted at that age. Why are they drafted at that age? Because the human brain is still so much mush at that point.
They have to overcome the inherent reservation to killing another human. As you get older, this becomes harder. In a way, it is a form of brain washing.
The human brain develops in stages.
At birth, until age two, the human brain is at the same level as most upper level mammals. Some thing can be learned, but long term memory is not yet established. There are children that develop earlier and faster, but their average life span is also shorter. People like Einstein didn’t develop their full intelligence until in his 20s.
At age two, the brain begins developing the ability for long term memory storage. This is what most parents call the terrible twos, but there is nothing terrible as it shows the wonder of the human brain. It takes ten year for the brain to store enough data for the next stage, conceptual thought.
This BEGINS developing at puberty. It is a time when we BEGIN understanding concepts such as love. Prior to this time, it was just a word adults used under certain situations.
This stage takes 12 years to complete in females, and 18 years to complete in males. Christ was not mature enough to leave home and make his own decisions until age 30. Until this time you are still feeling the desires and wants of a child. You body is producing a hormone that overrides the logic of your brain, when you really want something. As an adolescent it was that newest toy, but as a teenager, it’s a boy. It is all the same. You so desire something that all else is ignored.
You have at least 60 years of life still ahead of you. I know that you have trouble seeing past age 20, lt along 78. I very well remember what it was like and how many of the decisions I made affected my life, though in many ways I would not give up the 33-year-old daughter I now have.
There is a whole world waiting for you out there. Sure, dating this boy may be nice, but the inherent dangers of such activities can affect the rest of your life and the choices you may have made. There is nothing wrong with being friends with this boy, but dating is an activity more designed for full adults, and not adults simply by law.
If you’re not planning to go to college, than go to a trade school. Many blue collar jobs earn 50-100% after just a year’s training, than what most earn after four years of college. You also might consider the Peace Corp. You can see a lot of the world while you’re still young.
If you absolutely have to date this boy, than go talk to the mother. Tell her that it will only be when a trusted adult are with you. Someone like a parent or sibling, and she has to meet them first. But, remember that she follows Bible teachings which does say that dating is meant for the specific intent of marriage. If that is your intent, than you will be dating for six years. Studies show the strongest marriages come about when the couple is at least age 24, and has not lived together prior to this. This is because YOU have reached full maturity and the woman is the foundation on which a good marriage is built. Over 85% of divorces are directly attributed to this.
I hope you will make the right decision as regards your future and your life. I would like to suggest a book for you to read. Yes, I know it’s one of those advice books, but please consider it. Good luck and good life from an old fart.
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives
Stop Whining, Start Living
- 1 decade ago
If he is 18, then if he really wants to date you, he needs to grow up and live as a Man, then pursue you.
As for Dating, Dating, in the Christian, mindset is for the purpose of finding a marriage mate. So, she is probably saying she doesn't think he's ready to be married.
- JebLv 71 decade ago
Marriage is not a date.
People date to find out if they are compatible.
That thing is out dated.
Does he think he is to young as well?
If you ever did get married to him,
would you want that for a mother in law?
- 1 decade ago
She's a Jehovah?
She's a God?