Help...I teach preschool and no matter what I say to this one parent, it's not the right thing.?

I told this parent that their child had an off day. We'll the parent went to the director and said all she ever hears about is how bad her child is, never anything good. So when the director told me this I was like I never tell parents their child is bad. Then I would only talk to the parent about good stuff. I usually tell parents your child had a good day and something that I know they enjoyed like playing catch for instance or who they enjoyed playing with. That was never good either. The parent said that it would be nice to hear in detail but how good of a day their child had. So I am affraid to even talk to the parents now. Any advice as to what more I can do to make the parents happy, because know they are saying their son's saying he doesn't like school. I don't understand where that is coming from because he seems happy everyday. I don't have this problem with other parents and they say how their children can't wait to come to school. So I'm at my wits end...and I get nervous to even talk to the child's parents when they pick up their son. Any help or advice would be great.

8 Answers

  • msdnmo
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Obviously this mom doesn't want to hear what you have to say unless it's all positive, as she has the perfect child. lol. I'd suggest that when she comes in, acknowledge her politely and just say he had a fine day. If she wants more information, she needs to ask you.

    If this doesn't work, ask for a sit down with mom, you and the director. This way you can all discuss the situation and all hear the same info at the same time.

    Source(s): *****retired director
  • Amber
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Your best bet is to just smile when you see her and let it be all the response you give her. There are some mom's that are just like that and I agree with the "helicopter mom syndrome". That's exactly what she sounds like.

    Maybe toward the end of the day you can have the child draw a picture of something he enjoyed doing that day and he can show it to his mom and talk about it. Then the "spotlight" isn't on you.

    Another technique I used once with a "troublesome" parent. After I smiled at her then I put my attention on the child. We talked about the things we did that day and some of the things that I noticed that child enjoyed. I never included the parent in the conversation. I made a point to get down to the child's level and talk with them. Ending it in a positive "we'll see you tomorrow".

    As for the "off" day comment. Saying they had an "off" day is not saying they were "bad". Tsk tsk on the director and parent. :-) But that's just my opinion. As a parent...I wanted to know if it was an "off" day. It gave me a heads-up to what the evening was going to be like. Also was a sign that the child may be coming down with something. So sorry that your director feels you can't form such a relationship with your parents that you can honestly talk about the day. Sure makes life easier. Parents and teachers are a team...or should be. Of course...3 positives to 1 negative. :-)

    Hope it gets easier for you!

  • 1 decade ago

    Parents are my least "fun" part of my job most days, and I'm the director! Our policy is if the problem is handled at preschool through time-out, a trip to my office or whatever, the parents are not told about it since it was handled "in-house". If the problem involves hitting or biting other children, then we do let parents know.

    Any child can have an "off-day." If you have one, no one calls your mom and tells her, right? Before you tell a parent anything, the behavior needs to be documented over a few days. If the problem keeps up, have the director intervene on your behalf. ALWAYS make sure the director know what you are reporting to a parent. My staff is not allowed to report a child's behavior to the parents until they have documented repeated problems.

    In my early years, I had parents that pulled children out because they were tired of negative comments.

    The child you are referring to doesn't like school because he is hearing his mom complain about you. You can turn this around by remembering that he is a preschooler and it's his job to aggravate you. Your job is to rise above it, keep smiling and catch that child being good and praise him. If he is a good sitter during circle time, if he fingerpaints on the paper (most of the time) or if he manages to get his snack in his mouth, praise him! Eventually he will want to please you elsewhere.

    Sorry about the parents, but you do have their prize possession in your care. They have to look for the good since he spends most of his time with them and not you!

    Source(s): preschool director/parent of former wayward preschooler
  • 1 decade ago

    smile and be as nice as you can without giving away anything important. children can have off days yes but don't tell parents that unless its a consistent problem that keeps getting worse. I think this way because its part of the child's life that they get into trouble sometimes and if the behavior doesn't happen then you cant correct it.

    the idea about having the child draw about his day was good and if the parent still insists then tell them to ask for a conference with the director and choose your words carefully like neutral carefully.

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  • Bobbi
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    It's called 'Helicopter Mom Syndrome'. The parents drill the child, about the day, all the details, what went wrong. Nothing you can say or do will reassure the parents. As with any parent you speak with, start off with a couple of positives. Then, discuss that 'off day' the child had. Let the parent know what you tried to do to reassure the child. Be that 'positive chipper role-model' for the parent to see.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe you can have a "My Day Report" we handed those out daily and we wrote what we did during the day and at the end we had three smiley face

    A Happy Face

    A neutral face

    A frown face

    We circled the appropriate face based on the child's day. At the end you can write what his favorite activity was or a quote he said that day.Maybe this parent feels guilty about leaving her child in pre school and this is a way to alleviate her guilty feeling.W/ these parents they will never be happy. .

  • 1 decade ago

    It is sad to say, but sometimes there are just certain people you are not going to be able to make happy. Throughout my many years as a preschool teacher, parent interaction was always my most worrisome. Am I saying the right thing? Have I said enough? Did I say too much?, etc.

    One year, I had a mom that I could not please, we did everything we thought was right, but it never was. I learned to just smile and say we had a great day, and go about my business.

    I know it's not easy, but try not to stress too much about it.

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like the parents just like to complain and will do it no matter what you say. So I would just keep doing what your doing and try not to worry too much about it.

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