Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Am I fooling myself to believe that nothing happened?

I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months at this point. It's been a pretty rocky relationship but it always seems to work itself out in the end.

Earlier this week there was a day we didn't really speak to each other because of our schedules; I tried contacting her a few times later at night but she never got back to me. I got worried so I drove by her place to see if everything was alright and I saw her ex-boyfriend's car there. The next night we hung out for a bit and I gave her a chance to say something, which she didn't, in fact she said she hasn't heard from him. Consequently, the next day I stopped by her work to tell her its over and I know she's been lying.

The whole day she kept trying to call me until she ended up showing up at my place at night to find out what I was accusing her of. I kept telling her, "you tell me." So, her side of the conversation progressed from, "do you want me to tell you I was with another guy?" to "...that I was with my ex?" Then, from there it was, "He stopped over, I swear nothing happened" to "He was smoking with his friends" to "He was drunk" until she finally admitted he stayed over, but swore nothing happened, she even swore "on her father's grave," which I thought was kind of disrespectful since he's actually dead. She said he was kicked out of his house and he'd been trying to find places to stay.

She apologized to me in person, and even tried to call me to apologize even more. She never asked me to forgive her or to take her back, just not to hate her. The next day we spoke a bit and I asked her to be completely honest with me, and I couldn't have been more sincere when I asked, and she swore again that nothing happened.

The story with her and her ex is that they stayed friends after they broke up last year, and they talk on a normal basis. It's the same story with me and my ex, but she's 3,000mi. away because I moved, but there have been times shes caught me in a lie. Sometimes I'd tell her I wasn't talking to my ex because she would get a little jealous, even though I was.

Now, every logical bone in my body tells me not to believe a word that girl says, that two people who have had such a long relationship (C. 3 years) can't just lock up their feelings and be in the same apartment alone and have nothing happen. Yet, part of me can't help but want to forgive her and let it go, it's probably a textbook definition of "love is blind" though I'm not implying that I'm in love. I can't help but think I'm an idiot for even thinking about letting it go. I can't help but believe I'm just fooling myself because I don't want to be alone sometimes, but then again no one really wants to be alone. Am I really fooling myself that much? Am I really that blind to reality?

1 Answer

  • 1 decade ago

    You have 2 options-choose to believe her and let it go or choose not to and move on-no other option is worth the aggravation that might come out of this.

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