Pregnant girlfriend and family problems. What should I do?
i was raised with strong family values. i have a strong bond with my parents and siblings and vice-versa where we should help each other and look out for one another whether it's financial, emotional, etc. my gf on the other hand, was an only child, had a very rough childhood, parents who didn't show enough support/love, and has very different concept of what a family should be. she wants to start a family (as do i), but she wants all my attention and focus on her and the baby. but i try to explain that family means so much more than that. it's easy for her to only think of herself, me and the baby since she's used to being by herself and not getting any help from her family, but i've had that type of support all my life so it's difficult for me to simply just focus on her and forget about my family. her concept and values of family is obviously different from mine, which has caused countless arguments and stress.
my parents don't see any good qualities about her and view the fact she moved out of her parents place at a young age makes them think that she wasn't raised right, her parents don't love/care enough about her to help her out (pretty much just let her move out since they didn't want to deal with her), and don't hold the same values as i do. since she was on her own, she's been doing whatever she wanted whenever without any authority telling her otherwise for nearly a decade. as a result of this, she gets upset/angry when even small things are out her control or if things don't go her way and has problems controlling her temper, flipping out, even in public. my parents see her as a selfish person only looking out for her own interests which will cause me to be miserable. Because of her temper tantrums i'll have to do whatever she tells me to do and if ever a time comes where my family needs my support, she either won't allow it or will give me hell about it since she will think that same support, time and resources can be given to her and the child. i can already see this kinda happening because i've financially helped my siblings a couple times with things such as gas or food and she wasn't happy about it.
in order to ease my parents fears and help my gf, i felt that maybe if she moved into my parents place with me it would hopefully accomplish the following:
- gf would have a better understanding of the family concept since her background and experience is so different
- create some kind of relationship w/ my family members
- save money to one day buy a home
- having to find a babysitter would not be a problem
gf is afraid i won't put enough attention on her and the baby since we'll be living with my parents and some of my attention will be preoccupied with them as well.
my question is is this a good idea? does living with parents affect the relationship? are there other advantages/disadvantages? is this idea going to just worsen the situation where my parents and her won't get along? is her train of thought selfish? am i being selfish?
my relationship w/ parents and gf has become very strained. i've been stuck in the middle for quite some time and i'm emotionally and physically drained. i really don't know what to do at this point.