Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles ยท 1 decade ago

what about these irish jokes funny or not ?

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after you draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I drinks one for each o' me brothers and one for meself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it at that. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints.

All the other regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine,"

He explains,"it's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.

'Hasn't affected me brothers a bit though."

"My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.

"I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand."

"Aye,.. that he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord,... didn't you have anything in YOUR hand?"

"Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's t*t." Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what's happened.

A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body. "Englishman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.

The DI is taken to the second dead man. "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

Nothing unusual here, thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body. "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken", replies the coroner?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    being part irish, i think i speak for most of us that they are funny!!! i've heard the first one before but always makes me giggle!!!, cheers for the laughs!! hopoe u dont mind i added u as a contact as u have made me giggle a lot over the past few days and thats been hard as i had a traumatic time 3 weeks ago, but u've been one that has really made me laugh thank you -x-

    Source(s): by the way i love your avatar! its really cute!!
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There funny yes , and im sure a lot of Irish people find them funny but.... calling them drunks ? Idiots? Non political ? Or Pikeys .. is when the jokes cross the line , tell them in private .

  • 1 decade ago

    lol at # 2 (and 1 and 3)

    Source(s): my laugh box
  • 1 decade ago

    I try leaving out the race/color/nationality and just say the jokes, they are still funny that way.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Very funny

    Good job

  • 1 decade ago

    They may be old, but they are still very funny

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, pretty funny.

  • 1 decade ago

    funny funny funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Lol. Those are great!

  • Pat D
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    pathetic

    Source(s): someone with a sense of humour
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