honeybee asked in HealthDiet & Fitness · 1 decade ago

eating disorder.. recovery?

to be honest, i dont even know what im asking here, i just want to vent to someone because i feel so desperate.

i have an eating disorder, and have had for over a year. it consumes my life :( i have tried, really tried, to get on with things. but i just cant. im really an all or nothing person and i just dont have the energy to do anything else. im failing college, because i cant cope with it all. i hardly ever go out with my friends.. whats the point? i cant laugh at inane things because i cant just put on this happy front when really i just want to die. ive just gotten to this stage where im like whats the point in anything? oh yeah, anorexia. oh yeah, losing weight. so i get through the days just because i know im losing weight so its all worth it. really, i know its not worth it, i just cant help myself. i cant tell my parents, they'd laugh in my face probably, i'm 5'7, 112lbs and my bmi is 17.5. so basically im fat. they wouldnt take me seriously. i eat 130 calories a day, part of me hates that my mum just allows this.. like i said previously im probably so fat why would she think theres a problem. i have tried to recover on my own, but it either led to about 500 calories a day and losing more weight, or excessive binge/purging. i cant find a happy medium. i really cant. i feel like theres no-one to talk to. i dont want to get better because then they'd be absolutely no point to my existance, i wouldnt have anything to do with myself, and im too fat. i just cant live like this everyday.. i feel suicidal. this time last year i was 90lbs and there still wasnt a problem in my mums eyes, it's just like 'oh, my daughter doesnt eat, hahahah'. so im not counting on her to save me from myself any time soon, i think i'd have to have a heart attack or something before she even noticed or cared

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I also have an eating disorder, my 15th birthday at the beginning of the year my family took me to see the races (horses) and i was offered some sweets my mum said 'oh you'd be lucky to see her eat that, she doesn't usually eat' and the people she said that to said oh dear your anorexic bla bla bla my mum doesn't seem to care either.

    I have taken an overdose many times before nothing seems to happen, and when you try to recover by yourself its horrible, i mean you eat more which makes you feel really sick and depressed.

    I was sent to see a dietitian back in may and i was to sub born to do what they say i refused to eat bla bla bla and they gave up on me. Then when i wanted there help they wouldn't help me they completely gave up on me!

    I am 5 foot 1 and 6 stone 9 pounds im fat :(

    If you ever want help, just email me on

    daniellemarie64@yahoo.co.uk

    i'll listen, help or anything

    btw if u email me and you want my msn just ask x

  • 1 decade ago

    you can go to a doctors and talk confidentially without your parents finding out they can refer you to an eating disorder clinic that will help with the whole sycological and physical side of this.

    17.5 is an extremely low bmi and considered to be anorexic it is you perceiving yourself as fat, you are NOT fat at all, ask anyone of your friends at school how they think you are, whether they think you are fat, don't be scared of what they are going to say, what is the worst they can say, you are very skinny and you have to face up to your eating disorder which it seems like you already know you have, they say you are fat and re assure you of your perceptions, or they think you are normal and love you body. what is so scary with that?

    if you feel suicidal, you can go to a doctors and be prescribed anti-depressants. but this is only a result of you eating he wrong foods and not enough of the right foods in quantities. not eating a balanced diet, but yprobablyalready know all of this.

    if you feel there is no one to talk to there are several help lines you can call anomalously. beat are a good helpline the number is on their website google it.

    if your mum doesn't care what abot your dad? maybe she is trying to ignore the fact you have a problem. i promise you you will be alot happier at a higher weight. i was bulimic for almost a year still am, but i have got up to a more normal weight. one thing that helped was that fact that "what difference does it make being skinnier" you are not happier, you don't look or feel better. all you think about is food what are the positives of eating disorders if you find any please tell me i would love to know, i found none. you can gain control in other ways, so that is not one.

    i hope you have found this useful and if you want to talk to me i am always happy to talk.

    katierosegreewood@yahoo.co.uk

    xx

    Source(s): i had an eating disorder and have recovered with the help of therapy.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You need to talk to someone about this; I went through some similar coping mechanisms in college and, with a parent that doesn't seem to be aware that there is a problem, you can definitely feel inadequate, and obsess over things like food. College itself is stressful. Why don't you try talking with a college counselor? This a resource that is available to you through your school, and your folks don't have to know about it. It might give you a starting point to help build your confidence and recovery. You're in a very harmful cycle right now, and, it seems clear that food and your weight is only masking a much larger problem. Seek out help, and realize that you don't need your mom's approval and attention to get better- do it for YOU!

  • 1 decade ago

    Honey Bee...... Girl...... You gone make me choke you...... First of all you are 5'7 112lbs honey there's not a damn thing fat about you. I am 5'10 230lbs and sweet heart I'm not even fat. Your recovery starts with you!!!! You don't love your self because if you did you would have never allowed yourself to get to 90lbs. That is unhealthy and harmful. I am not a specialist so I can't sit here and council you like i know everything but I know you need to talk to someone professional because you really need to work out your personal issues that lie within. If you don't love and cherish yourself, no one else will. You set the standards of what you want and how you are going to allow yourself to be treated. You have to know that you do have a purpose in life , you are someone special, you do deserve to be happy, you have to know that you do deserve to live and I don't even know you and I want you to live. What I want don't matter by a long shot, it's what you want. Your mom don't say nothing about you and your situation because she's not happy with herself and loving herself, so how the hell she gone love on you right??? You may not have the support system at home that you would like to have or even need to have; but it's up to you to take control of your life and say " I love me and I can't get with this B.S. I GOTTA DO ME!!!! That is something that you have to want for yourself. Dying or committing suicide is not the answer nor will it solve anything. Yeah you won't have to cope with what your feeling, but what about the people who love and care about you? I guess they don't matter huh?? That's real selfish. Don't commit suicide, that's the easy way out the cowardly way of handling things. Be stronger than that, test your strength and fight off those demons and get your self together, finish college and do what you've always wanted to do!!! It's to easy to do the wrong thing..... it takes effort and determination to do right!!!!! Which one will you chose??

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can't measure how serious an eating disorder is, just by measuring weight. However, your weight is very low, and with the numbers of calories you eat each day, your physical condition will be a lot worse in short time if you don't start to eat more, and very serious health issues will occur. There is no need to wait for that to happen honey, you need to seek professional help, don't let your ruin disorder ruin your life!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I cant believe how your story is so similar to mine. I'm also 5'7 and weigh 110lbs. I restrict myself to 200 calories a day which some times is impossible. My family and friends don't know and i some times find it really hard to cope without telling anyone. You can talk to me if you'd like. x :)

  • 1 decade ago

    You're not fat, and you know what really annoys me about this question, i'm 5'7, 110lbs and I don't see myself as fat. Are you saying i'm fat? You just need to let go, life's to serious to strap yourself down to silly rules you have but don't need.

  • 1 decade ago

    hiya hun im anorexic too 5ft9 103lbs bmi 14ish. and i still feel fat i hate my body i hate my life i live every day to go back to sleep again so i dont have to eat i havent tryed to recover but my family have tryed to make me its werid like i kinda wish my family didnt care so i could get on with it but i sippose its different when they dont care. but im sure deep down shes worried maybe shes acting like she dosnt care so you stop and get better i dont know but if you feel ready to recover then go for it if i could get myself to even think of recovery i would go for it as a normal life would be better then this life. i wish you luck and hope you get better its worth it hun xx

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i can completely relate. ive had an eating disorder for a long time and it really does dominate your life. your not fat, and your deserve help and if your mom doesnt see that you need help then she doesnt deserve to your time untill she does. go to the hospitall and tell them whats been going on, you need help and you do qualify.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You dont need advice from people on yahoo answers.

    You need a psyciatrist to help you with this. (I dont mean that in a mean way)

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