What constitutes "candies and flowers" for a guy?

Here is what I mean: when we at the start of the relationship, a woman expects "candies and flowers". What does the guy expect? What is the man's "candies and flowers"? Cause if he wants it, I'll gibe it to him, only if I knew what it means.

So, what are the men's "candies and flowers"? Any other advise?

When he came back to me after years of separation, I sort of expected candies and flowers. He didn't know it. I pushed him away. Cause he didn't give candies and flowers. He wanted everything at once. I want to be with him more than anything. Only if I knew what it is.

I realize it's marriage and divorce section. We've been in back-and froth relationship for many years. We are both over 30, and I am very serious. I know he is serious, but scared by all the experiences. I think he is into "give me the candies and flowers" mode right now, and I'm determined to do what it takes to make him happy.

Update:

Ahem, bj and all sorts of skilled sex is always available. Does't effin' help!

Update 2:

I mean, he seems to afraid to get in bed with me cause things become "too good". I just don't know anymore... We don't live together... My house is clean.... I cook and invite him. I'm at my wit's end...

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not long ago, I looked at some surveys (I wish I could remember the source) about why men cheat on their spouses or girlfriends. Here are some of the interesting things--a large majority of the men said that they cheated for emotional rather than sexual reasons. An equally large majority said that they found their spouses and girlfriends more attractive than the women they were cheating with.

    So forget about all that old nonsense that says men are all about sex rather than intimacy or understanding. The emotional needs that men have are just as strong and just as central as the emotional needs of women.

    So let's look at the "candy and flowers" thing. What is that? It's a concrete expression of affection--something that says, "I was thinking about you today--and this is what I found."

    It doesn't matter what it is. It depends on the person. I've known women who LOVED chocolate but didn't care at all about flowers--and the opposite. And I've known women who were so happy just to have a latte brought to them at work--or maybe a book I'd found that made me think of them.

    The important thing is to know each other, to pay attention, to really listen. So whatever you decide to bring to him, it comes from a real place, a genuine place--and not just an abstract wish to "do something nice."

    In other words, let the candy and flowers come from actually thinking about the other person, and not from TRYING to think about them. Does that make sense?

    Let me give you an example--I've been involved in professional theatre for most of my life. I was about to open in "Macbeth" (the title role). Now NOBODY has ever given me anything for opening night before--and I'd said that kind of jokingly to her at one point. Opening night, when I got to my dressing room, there was a little plastic baby doll, covered with red paint, and a note--"None of woman born shall harm Macbeth! Break a leg, sweetie--I love you!"

    THAT is what I would call flowers and candy.

    I wish you good luck in your relationship--but I also have to say "Damn girl!" You're over 30, you're a dancer, and from your answers you're smart, funny, and giving. Why the hell are all the good ones TAKEN??

  • 1 decade ago

    While I must agree with the earlier answers, you can certainly take a route that more closely mirrors candies and flowers. A good bottle of Scotch (or his fav alcohol) and some cookies will send the same message. (just don't go with oreo's or something else that was obviously commercially made...if you can cook, the cookies are better if you make them rather then buy them...please don't try to make the scotch...)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    the idea of giving candy and flowers is giving something to the girl that gives him nothing, its all about her being happy.

    same thing goes for guys: something that is all about them that gives you nothing in return except seeing them happy.

    for many guys, yes, its a bj without them having to ask for it. just surprise him, and dont begrudge it. if you're not ok with it, do something else, but thats a surefire way to make him happy.

  • Yogi
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Honestly, a home made dinner and a BJ :-)

    Others things my man LOVES LOVES LOVES is backrubs and massages, pumpkin bread (everyone likes something different but find out his favorite then make it and send it to work with him), and little surprises every now and again, like picking up the tab for dinner, washing his car for him while he's busy with something else, etc.

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I have to agree with the others above me. Guys like getting physical. If you are not into that, then I'm sure he will like a plasma tv.

  • 1 decade ago

    Here are the guidelines:

    1. Men want a fun and exciting (female) companion.

    2. Men want great sex (consistent, frequent, and passionate lovemaking score high with men).

    3. Men want to share meals with their woman companion (especially when she cooks for him).

    4. Men want you to support them in their work and boost their confidence.

    5. Men want you to look great, keep in shape, and express confidence about your body.

    6. Men want you to listen to them and treat them with respect.

    7. Men need private time, to unwind, to engage in sports and hobbies, and to spend time with other men.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Affection, flattery, a clean house and cooked meal, and definitely no-holds-barred sex, including oral every time!! :)

    Source(s): Daily life satisfying my husband!
  • 1 decade ago

    I REALLY DONT KNOW BUT I THINK IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND HE GIVE YOU CANDY AND FLOWERS THATS WHAT I THINK

  • 1 decade ago

    my first answer as a guy is "hot kinky sex"

    if you want to give him some THING to go with the HKS add a video camera :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A six pack of beer and a DVD of 'Porky's'.

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