Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

My boyfriend's ex girlfriend kidnapped our son (a little long)?

I've been with with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half now. His ex girlfriend had a one night stand right after they broke up and got pregnant; she had the baby and things were fine for the first 4 months but then all of a sudden she decides that she's not ready to be a mom and she leaves the baby on my boyfriend's doorstep with a note that says she wants him to adopt the baby and that she's gone on vacation. Now, paternity tests were done and we're 100% sure that the baby isn't his biologically but he had been there since the baby was born so they had great bonding time. He decided he wanted to go through with the adoption and he was approved and his ex signed away rights and the adoption was finalized.

5 months after things going perfectly his ex changed her mind and decided she made a mistake and wanted the baby back. By then, my boyfriend and his son were incredibly close, they were their own little family. His ex expected him to just welcome her into his family with open arms...they could be mom and dad; but by then, my boyfriend and i had been together a good 7 months and didn't plan on breaking up anytime soon. It's been a battle ever since. After a year and a half, the baby looks at me as his mom and my boyfriend and i want it that way. Whenever my boyfriend leaves the baby with family, his ex shows up to play with him even though he's repeatedly told her to stay away. She's texted me and has said i'm going to hell for stealing her boyfriend and son and i've replied, civilly, giving her a few hard truths by saying that he's no longer her son and she has no standing and no rights to him.

Now this afternoon, my boyfriend and i dropped our son off at his family's house so we could do some last minute things before trick or treating, his little sister was babysitting. His ex just walked into their house and picked the baby up and wouldn't give him back to my boyfriend's sister and she just played with him for a couple hours. His sister was a afraid to call the police or call us so she just left it. Until his ex just got the baby's things a took off. His sister immediately called me and told us what happened and my boyfriend tried calling his ex. When he couldn't get through i told him to call the police and file a kidnapping report. At first he was iffy about doing it because he and his ex had a long history but i told him that it doesn't matter right now, all that matters is our son's safety and well being. He finally called and filed. Now we just got a call a couple hours ago saying that his ex was stopped 3 hours away from our city (her intention being obvious) and we got our son back and she's in jail.

We're thrilled that he's back with us and safe but i can tell my boyfriend is feeling bad for having to file charges against her.

So my questions are... I did do the right thing in convincing him to call the police right? I mean, she obviously didn't intend to bring him back willingly. And what can i do to make hm feel better about doing it?

Update:

At first both of us were perfectly fine with allowing visitation. We're not horrible people or anything, we allowed her to come over for supervised visits.

But then she started drinking heavily and doing a few drugs. And then our son started having heart problems and we found out he had them from birth. His bio mother didn't think it was that serious so she didn't give him his medicine and he almost died from it. My boyfriend got fed up and said he didn't want her anywhere near our son. And, considering it being his decision legally, i supported him in it.

Update 2:

And to peanut...it wouldn't be settled. She doesn't just want the son, she wants my boyfriend also. She wants them to be a family and me out of the picture. While she did have visitation, she wasn't happy with just that.

Update 3:

Manga Panda: I'm not joking at all...he was in the hospital for days and had to have heart surgery just because of her lack of judgment. He almost didn't make it be thankfully he pulled through.

Despite all the rumors and things she spread about me, i didn't really have a problem with her. I just ignored it, let it go. I only really started to dislike her after the heart issue. That was too much for both my boyfriend and i to handle.

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    She didn't think a heart problem was serious!! Please tell me you're joking...

    Could she be done for child endangerment? If she knowing stopped giving the baby medicine then it might be considered endangerment.

    Anyway, I think you pretty much condensed the problem. Maybe show this and the responses to your bf. He might be able to see it from your view if you wrote it down. Or write everything to him in a letter. But I think you need to need to see each others points in this.

  • 1 decade ago

    You did the right thing. Just because she carried this baby doesn't make her a mother. She is a donor. She made the choice to sign her rights away. Legally, it is not her child any longer. In the best interest of the child, she should not even be given visitation.

    Source(s): Mother of two
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well if he doesnt feel good enough for having his son back or was hesitant on calling the police, then hes prolly hiding something, cuz Im a father and if my sons crazy mom try to kidnap my boy, I would be calling the national gaurd, FBI, CIA, DEA, President Bush. But only cuz i love him that much...

  • 1 decade ago

    yes you did the right thing.... she signed away her rights and your boyfriend adopted him....legally she is not his guardian... your boyfriend is and she did kidnap him....

    maybe in a bit he could allow her to see the boy under responsible supervison of another and that might ease tensions...

    but she signed away her rights, she gave up the chid, he is not a toy she can decide to play with when the mood suits her...

    so yes you did the right thing... as your boyfriend probably would never have seen the boy again if he didn't call

    it doesn't matter if she held him in her body for 9 months... kidnapping is not the answer.. she signed away her rights... if she wants to visit she has to be civil, decent and honest and come to your bf directly not on the sly and not in a threatening way

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  • 1 decade ago

    you did it for the child its far more important to make sure the child is safe,you did do the right thing but maybe think about letting her have supervised visits with the child

  • AMF
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes you did and he will get over it. Talk to him and tell him think about what could have happened if you wouldn't have called the police. She could be long gone by now.

  • 1 decade ago

    While i do feel bad for you. SHe is the Mother and she made a mistake in letting the baby go now she wants him back. I think she went about it the wrong way. However I would do any and everything in my power to be with my kids weather it was legal or not. .(If I had any kids that is.)

  • 1 decade ago

    you did the right thing. you don't know what she would of done to the child. she is where she needs to be, locked up so she cannot get to your son and break up your family. she chose to give up her rights that's something she needs to accept and move on

  • 1 decade ago

    well if she wanted you to adopt him then the baby is rightfully yours. she cant just come back and take the child away just because she wants it back. if she just dumped him off on your doorstep and then months later she wants it back, obviously she is not fit to be a mother, especially if she thought that kidnapping was going to solve her problems.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ya she seams like a freakin phsyco id go after her myself

    call the police get an amber alert

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