*Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.
*What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
*Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window.
*How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
*Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
*Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window.
*A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"
The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."
*brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. "Oh no!" cried the brunette. "Is he following me?" "Yep," replied the blonde.
"I'm going to drive down this little side road, okay?" said the brunette. "Yep," replied the blonde.
"Is the cop still following me?" "Yep."
"Are his lights on?" "Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope..."
*A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
*Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
· 1 decade ago