Do spouses need permission from each other? What the heck is that?

Me and my boyfriend are friends with a couple who are married. We were invited to a birthday party at the coolest club in town because the bouncer used to be my boyfriend's roomy. The party would be in the VIP area, with free alcohol, an amazing DJ and lots of fun. We had taken them there before and they liked it... show more Me and my boyfriend are friends with a couple who are married. We were invited to a birthday party at the coolest club in town because the bouncer used to be my boyfriend's roomy. The party would be in the VIP area, with free alcohol, an amazing DJ and lots of fun. We had taken them there before and they liked it a lot and we had a blast laughing at the drunk girls that flashed everybody their goodies. And the bouncer friend asked us to bring them because they got along great last time we went.

So anyway, I invited them to go and she says yay! and then text me saying "sorry we cant go because Matt thinks is too late, booo hoo"

Im so confused because is the third time she doesnt joins us because her husband wont go. Is that a normal thing among married people? I live with my boyfriend and we are planning on getting married and we both agree that was ridiculous, that if one wanted to do something and the other didnt, then the person that wanted to go should go since we are not attached at the hip!

Is a requirement of a normal or good marriage to ask "permission" of the spouse? I see it all the time, "I cant cut my hair because my hubby wont let me, I wish I could go out tonight for a girls-nightout but I'll ask my hubby if I can"

What is with that? It doesnt bode well for me since I am so independant and refuse to ask permission from anybody! I stopped asking permision when I turned 18 so I cannot picture myself asking my husband who is my equal permision to go or do something.

I understand having to agree on major expenses and which color the house is going to be painted and if we are changing mattress but does getting married really leads to that loss of personhood, that loss of command over our own bodies?

My boyfriend goes out sometimes with his buddies and I go out with mine, most of the time we are together, socially and at home but sometimes you just want to hang out without each other.

What is going on?
Update: I keep seeing people saying "out of respect" how is him going somewhere he wants to go even though I dont feel like going out a disrespect? I dont feel disrespected if he feels like going out and I dont. I think it will harbor resentment if someone cant do something they really want to do just because the... show more I keep seeing people saying "out of respect" how is him going somewhere he wants to go even though I dont feel like going out a disrespect? I dont feel disrespected if he feels like going out and I dont. I think it will harbor resentment if someone cant do something they really want to do just because the spouse doesnt want to. I still dont understand who is out of respect.
Update 2: Oh so is a bar/club thing. I didnt know clubs were such a no-no, but then again I am not married. Lol. It makes sense since alcohol usually makes people do stuff that usually they wouldnt do. To those getting insulted and afronted and defensive, chill out, I am not questioning your freaking marriage so either... show more Oh so is a bar/club thing.

I didnt know clubs were such a no-no, but then again I am not married. Lol. It makes sense since alcohol usually makes people do stuff that usually they wouldnt do.

To those getting insulted and afronted and defensive, chill out, I am not questioning your freaking marriage so either answer the question with an answer or f* off. Thank you all.
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