I'm married, but I saw my ex b/f two days ago with another woman and it make me crazy......?

As I was walking into a store the other day I saw my ex that I was with for 3 years standing there in the checkout line with what I presume as his new g/f. It's been 5 years since we were together but we were so close and our break up wasn't nasty....we only broke up because we were young and needed to experience life first. Anyway we remained in contact at least a few times a year but one of us was always in a relationship and the timing never worked out. Anyway, I love my husband and I'm truly happy with him, but this other guy was my first love and I will always have a place in my heart for him as I'm sure he will for me too. But when I saw him we looked each other in the eyes and without saying anything I felt a mutual connection like "Oh my god, it's so good to see you, come here give me a hug, I miss you so much" but without the words. So I walked by him like I didn't know him, waited for him to leave the store and then I grabbed my few items and left. I couldn't get him off of my mind all night, well actually two days later and he's all I can think about. I even had a dream last night that he had called me up and I agreed to meet him and my husband found out and was going to leave me. IS THIS NORMAL? What do you make of this because I really love my husband and couldn't picture my life without him in it. Will I ever get over my ex?

Update:

I felt an outrage of jealousy when I saw him with another woman, like "hey, wtf are you doing with him, he's mine!!!"

Update 2:

But the thing is I would never leave my husband or do anything wrong to compromise his relationship. I just want to know why I feel like this and how I can get rid of the jealousy and guilt that I feel for even having these thoughts in the first place.

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your feelings are normal, trust me I have experienced what you have. You never get over them but time is the only thing that helps with it and avoding them to avoid any temptations.My ex and I are both happily married and we have agreed when we have talked through e-mail it would be best to never meet up even just as friends to avoid temptations, but even 9 years later after a 5 year relationship, I miss him here and there and cry to certain songs, it's normal. I think it's how the human mind tries to heal itself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, I think you went a little bit too far with your thinking. You had a relationship and it sounds like you broke it of for wrong reasons, so it will always linger in your mind. What's good though is that you LOVE your husband; that's a big plus. Most likely your mind is making you think of all the good times you had with him so mentally you think he's still yours but hasn't been for a long time and now that you're married he will never be. You said you can't live w/o your husband, so then focus on that. Every time you think of your ex, control your thinking and think of your husband instead. Just be smarter than your brain and don't let it take control over your thinking. You'll be the master.

    Another thing, just as you are happily married, try to wish the same for your ex. That will give you inner peace. No doubt that you and your ex could have had a life together. But you chose a different path, a path that you love and your can't live without; how perfect is that :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think what you're going through is normal. The old "What if" card. I have an ex-boyfriend that would make me pause if I ever see him again. Pause, as in, tempted to ask him why things happened the way they did when we parted ways. I will always have a special place in my heart for him but I am in a committed relationship too & I would never do anything to ruin it.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is one of the most worried problem i am afraid i would face in the future on some of the past relationship that ended because it was the 'wrong time' and not about sour break up or nasty partner. I would love to see what comments people will have for you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Simple. Nobody wants to think that their ex gets over them. Especially if the breakup wasn't bad, just chalked up to bad timing and youth. You'll get past it, and in the meantime, be sure you stay very connected to your husband. Don't go making what could be a terrible mistake. You'll be fine. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    It shows that you still love him and that you never will get over him. It is possible to stay that way for years by supressing it, but you might be kidding yourself into making things work with your new husband, when the reality is you still want your 1st love.

    Go with you heart.to thine own self be true

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey that's life. Enjoy your life with your husband. Don't try to ruin a good thing with something that wasn't meant to be.

  • Trek T
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I did not read further than the title.

    No matter what, do not let your husand know anout the feelings you have about your ex.

    Trouble is just around the corner...

  • Mary K
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    tell your husband, you will feel better.

    Ask yourself this, how would you feel bumping into your husband 5 years from now and he had another woman on his arm....if you broke up with him now. probably worse.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well isn't your husband a lucky guy.

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