Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Parents divorcing - upcoming wedding?

Just when we got engaged...my parents announced that they are getting divorced. I feel that they are selfish and they could have waited a while for me to enjoy the moment and get married with a "happy family". My dreams of the perfect wedding with my mom and dad at the bride and groom table, or their wedding picture at the cake table, or perfect family portraits are shattered.

My mom and I are not talking to each other since I walked in on her with another man in our house...the other man was a good family friend. That is also the reason for the divorce.

I don't want my mom at my wedding and I don't want to be associated with her. (A lot has happened since I walked in on them)

I just thank God every day for the perfect man he send to me! My fiancee has been THE BEST EVER! He is superman. And he even said we can postpone the wedding if that was what I needed. But I know I want to spend the rest of my live with this man.

My question is...how do I handle all off this?

How do I word my invitations?

How do I enjoy the day without all the bad memories in my head?

Update:

I think you guys are really rude. I am 20yrs old and still living with them if that makes any difference.

Update 2:

I AM EMPLOYED! In fact I am employed with a bursary...

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Okay first off the problem, with your parents marriage & their getting a divorce Does not change the fact they are your parents. You will Regret, & I stress this to you Regret if you do not include your mom in this I am a divorced mother who's daughter got Married last Dec. She Invited both her Father & I. We sat in the Front row at the wedding , Separated by a few spaces. We did the family Photo's together out of Respect for our daughter. & for the Fact we are her Mother & Father. We opted out of sitting at the Bride & Groom table & each had our own with friends & family from our respective side of the family. And She had only her self & husband, & the wedding Party at their table. as it should be in a situation like yours & hers.Put your Engagement Picture on the cake table. You don't need your parents wedding picture there. It's Your Day! You word your invitations as planned, your mother & father are proud to announce your forth coming marriage. if you don't know that I think you are the one being selfish & childish, and not a very nice daughter to not include your mom regardless, if she has met someone else. That is life in the grown up world. It happens. Don't leave your mom out.. A year from now you'll be wishing you had those pictures with her in them.& all will be better!

    If you don't like my answer I am sorry, but you asked!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I understand what your going thru..My boyfriends parents are no longer together because of a cheating mother and even though they are not my parents I'm scared of what is gonna happen at my wedding considering they have not seen or spoken to each other in over a year..However it's your special day and no one elses! I know you are hurt and angry with your mother but honestly can you picture the biggest day of your life WITHOUT your mother? Forget about the happy family pictures and all that stuff..Put pictures of you and your boyfriend from when you first met up until the wedding..As far as invites go..Still put both parents names..

  • 1 decade ago

    for entirely different reasons, I wanted my mother to play as small a part in my wedding as possible. Our invitations were worded from my grandmother, as she's actually the one who helped me plan and pay for it all. "Mrs Grand Ma requests the honor of your presence at the wedding of her granddaughter Silvur Huntress to Husband Dude." My father and I are still very close, and he gave me away in the ceremony. My mom was present and included in the photos, but otherwise wasn't included. I also asked some of my trusted friends to make sure my mother stayed in line and didn't start drama. We had a contingency plan in place: if my mother started causing problems, a couple of my friends would diffuse the situation by enticing her outside for a cigarette break. You might consider something similar.

  • 1 decade ago

    are you kidding me there being selfish haa look in the mirror honey divorce yea it sucks for the kids but it pales in comparison to the pain and anguish they've been and are going through my guess is they struggled and worked at there marriage with every bone in there body to keep it together for the better good of the family which by the sounds of it they accomplished because your getting married so the kids are grown up or in age at least give me a break is it really me me me all the time

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  • 1 decade ago

    well i can see both sides of this but i'm more on their side than yours. I mean they've stayed together for so long, possibly living a lie. And they probably stayed together for your sake. and you expect them to continue to stay together, you are ok being lied to?? You would've been ok with their pic and such on your wedding cake, knowing that they are unhappy? Idk but i think you are thinking about it wrong. Also, take their announcement as a warning that marriages are HARD. You are what 20 and you've never lived on your own, probably not educated and unemployed. And you are getting married!?!? I think you should slow down and take a good look at your life.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wow! you're parents weren't happy together. because they decided to not live a miserable lie anymore at a time that was inconvenient for you THEY are selfish? wow! I think you are selfish and need to grow up a bit before getting married.

    To answer your question. I am guessing you are paying for your own wedding, do not include any parents on the invite. They aren't hosting it so they don't need to be included. As for not wanting your mom there, then don't invite her. Simple as that.

    For the bad memories: don't think about. You seem to only think about yourself anyways so stick with that and you'll be fine.

  • 1 decade ago

    just believe that this is the life ,,,

    dont make nice seconds of your love life messed, with these thoughts ... it is another day today ... good luck ...

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