Acne has literally ruined my life...:(?

i hate life because of my acne. I started getting acne since freshman year in high school and I still have it, now that I'm in my 1st year of college. I wouldn't say my skin is BAD because i know if I got rid of my acne, I wouldn't have any scars, and my skin is soft and smooth and even-textured. But I constantly... show more i hate life because of my acne. I started getting acne since freshman year in high school and I still have it, now that I'm in my 1st year of college. I wouldn't say my skin is BAD because i know if I got rid of my acne, I wouldn't have any scars, and my skin is soft and smooth and even-textured. But I constantly break out with medium-sized, painful pimples. I've been going to the dermatologist for a year now and at first i took doxycycline and used ziana gel, and my skin was so clear and beautiful. But during the summer, my skin started breaking out again. I'm currently using Differin and Benzaclin, but they're not too useful. I'm waiting for accutane, and my dermatologist tells me not to worry about my skin because I have very mild acne. But what i see in the mirror is completely different. My acne has taken a psychological toll on me. I am so insecure about myself because of my skin that I can't look at people straight when they talk to me. All I do is stay home because I'm too embarrassed to hang out with people. I know guys are attracted to me and I have a pretty face, but when they try to pursue something, I hold back because of my acne. I know acne is mainly genetics, and sometimes I feel so angry towards my dad who had terrible acne during his teen years (my mother had perfect skin). My best friend rinses her face is water and she NEVER breaks out. People say acne is caused by diet, etc, but why the hell do i have to change my whole freaking lifestyle to have decently clear skin when there are overweight people eating pizza everyday who have perfectly fine skin? It's so unfair. I'm so obsessed with my skin that I need to wash my face for like 10 minutes in order to feel secure. And it's such a hassle to go through my whole acne regimen everyday after school when I'm exhausted. I'm in a pharmacy program which is really competitive. I have a lot of stress and the last thing i want to stress about is skin. I'm scared that accutane isn't going to help. Ugh i feel so miserable and I feel like crying everyday.
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