Tried and tested uses of goose fat?
When I was shopping at the Marks and Spencer Food Court I saw some goose fat on sale and it reminded me of what I used to do for *my* boys when they were young.
*Every* November I would rub a thick layer of goose fat onto their chests and cover that in a layer of brown paper. I would then sew my boys into their cotton vests until May. They slept in pyjamas under cotton sheets and 17 blankets with a hot water bottle at their feet and another at their back.
I *knew* that this would protect them against bronchitis, chest infection, pneumonia and pulmonary disease and was a fool-proof defence against athletes foot. None of my boys caught so much as a cold when they were young!
I have *just* phoned my son to tell him about the goose fat but he was out. My daughter-in-law answered and said that as their house was *centrally heated* she was sure my boys would manage just fine in their pyjamas.
Don’t you think that I have the *right* to protect my boys against the ravages of the English winter?