Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Are there any ladies who would date a guy with Asperger's Syndrome?

This is an honest question. If anyone out there can answer it as honestly and tactfully as possible, I would appreciate it. I have a mild form of autism known as Asperger's Syndrome. Many people are unaware of it, so I'm going to cut to the chase. People like me are notorious for being intelligent, crafty, ingenious, and creative. Our pitfalls lie in the social area. Our brains are hard-wired more in in the complex world rather than the simple world. Further, people like me have a hard time with human relations.

I'm a 29-years-old senior at Texas State University. I'm graduating in May with a degree in Geography. It didn't work out when I tried dating a girl who is 19. She also has Asperger's. We're still friends. I have not been in a steady relationship for 4 years. My last gf who I adored moved on to another relationship.

I am a hard nut to crack. Often, people get the wrong impression about me. They think I'm planning something. I don't associate myself with co-workers because I know how people have loose lips in the work place. I've heard from many sources that people think I'm going to snap and go on a shooting rampage. That's beyond me. I would never commit such a heinous act.

Other people get eerie because I am an aspiring horror novelist. My first book I'm writing is a memoir about what it was like living a double-life in the military with Asperger's Syndrome and not being able to tell anybody. Everywhere I looked people had it in for me. They did everything they could to rake me over the coals. The horror novels are for when I finish writing the memoir.

My question is for you ladies out there. Why is it everywhere I look, guys who have no respect for women are the ones who seem to have better luck? Why do I see so many women going for the jocks who drive big pick-up trucks and curse like sailors?

I knew one girl who fell head over heels for a guy who was in prison. They guy is incarcerated in a maximum security prison for bludgeoning a man half to death with a sledgehammer. Before that, she got involved with some drug dealer who split after he got her knocked up. Why do some women have low standards? Why do I always hear women saying they want someone who's intelligent, respectful, well-mannered, and sensitive. I have all those traits, but I don't have the award-winning personality a lot of them want. I describe myself as a coconut. I'm hard nut to crack, but soft and tender on the inside. Can someone help me solve this puzzle, if you would be so kind?

Update:

I said tactfully. What I meant is show some respect. I'm not going to bite anybody's face off.

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well 1st off I don't think that your situation is hopeless.I think that maybe when you 1st start dating someone I wouldn't tell them about your Asperger's bc until you know if this is a relationship that you would like more from then really there is no need for them to know.That way it will never be an excuse as to why after the 2nd date it just didn't work.When you want to continue on and not only date and getting to know each other phase that's when I would tell them.It also sounds like you should work on your attitude a bit.You can hang with the people from work but don't ever get too personal with them.

    Girls and our bad boys.It is simple really we love a challenge.We know that these boys are "dangerous"and "bad"so we want them even more.We will always try to change them,never fully be happy and yet for some reason we continue to date them.Who knows.I used to be like that when I was younger but now not so much I would prefer someone more like you.The problem in a nut shell are these few things:

    #1-you are looking:Stop looking and when you least expect it love will find you!

    #2-It sounds like you let your condition define you:

    you sound like a great guy who happens to have autism,don't let even the most smallest form of autism have you.You are who you are and whether you have it or not you still have great characteristics

    #3-You need more confidence:Even though you may have asperger's you are still a great guy.You still have other interests.You might even be hot LOL( well your personality tells me you are) so let go of it and go for what you want don't let the asperger's define who you are.Good luck!!!

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    your tell that person why would you get your face been off lol stop beeing rude.

    here goes i have a boyfriend i been together 5years

    we both have a disablity i'm blind he is total beening he dont see anything i have some vision just not very much. i am very use i got Asperger's Syndrome and have had it for years i'm going to be going to the doctors soon to get myslef sorted out i think anybody with a disablity at the end of the day we are hunma beeings so we are our selfs at the end of the day.

    so yes i would go out with somebody with Asperger's Syndrome and any other disablity.

    everybody desive a chance dont they. good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Would I date a guy with Asperger's? In a heartbeat :D

    NTs are hard for us to figure out, you know that. Hell, I can't figure out NT women, and I'm a woman myself. It appears as if NTs rarely actually mean what they say when they say something.

    I've been reading some stuff lately, and it appears that sometimes people find partners with a higher intelligence level intimidating, or believe themselves to be "not good enough" for them. Even if you make it very clear that you don't believe you're too good for them.

    I think you're on the right track in your reasoning - deception apparently is a common way to attract the opposite sex, but Aspies aren't usually so great at it, and I myself don't really get the point of deception; someone's going to find out you're lying sooner or later, so why even bother?

    A lot of theories say Aspies are indeed too rational/logical in the respect that we try to rationalize emotions, when in reality emotions and logic are mutually exclusive.

    Source(s): Aspie
  • 1 decade ago

    I'm married to one. I didn't know it when we were married, but found out later. I love him very much. We enjoy a lot of the same activities and he is a good provider. He doesn't like to do a lot of things that I would like to do. We also don't have many friends in common, which is sad. But he get better all the time and he loves God, who changes him. He is losing his quick temper and gaining patience. Everyone has shortcomings, but if we all try to continually get better and not give in to them, relationships can work and be beautiful. I wouldn't want anyone else but him because I love him that much. It's a relationship that takes a lot of prayer and work, but is definitely worth it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think I would date you. I don't judge people. You need to find the right girl for you. My sister has is and aspe and I know that some of the stuff she says is just because she doesn't know better. I know a guy at my school. He's very awkward but I am nice to him. I don't judge him when he says weird things or does weird things. You just need to find a girl like me! (but not me :P lol)

  • Victor
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    1

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, if the asperger guy is the nice person, the least of his problem I can teach him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I know a lot of people with Aspergers. Some of them are more obvious about it than others. I personally wouldn't date someone with it unless it was so mild I didn't notice at first, which is very unlikely.

    This is because I'm very easily annoyed/upset by people who are too awkward or embarrassing in public. Both of my friends who have Aspergers are awkward and I find myself constantly teaching them how they should be acting.

  • LDawnZ
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I would

    ...... then again I have Asperger's Syndrome my self

  • 1 decade ago

    I understand because those guys are around them but the kind of guy your type seems to avoid people girls like to have someone pay attention to them even from losers for me I rather be alone then associate with those kind of guys

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