Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Can you please give me an honest opinion?
Well here's the thing, I'm writing a book called Love & Let Hate and I really want advice on it so if you could look at the link below and tell me what you think then that would be awesome. I don't care about criticism as long as it isn't just to get me down and please explain the reason behind your thoughts. Thanks guys!
so far i only have 3 chapters and the links to it are on the right side of the page
and no i haven't had anyone edit it for me
the thing when characters are speaking and another paragraph comes up and they're still speaking then you put the quotes before the next paragraph and not at the end.....
- Ed AtunLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Don't worry about the quotation marks. Just keep writing. It is not "polished" so it does need an editor. Which is a drag because an author has his work changed by a stranger..
- HappyLv 41 decade ago
is there a link to actually read the story? - o wait i see on the side
The blurb sounded very interesting - a teen romance .
i would pick it up and read it as a nice summer book (cause that's the type of book i felt it was from the blurb), and the first chapter seems okay, have you had anyone edit it for you? for instance it seems very monotone, if you can understand what i mean, meaning it seems to drag on (especially the conversation) and that's something even i have a problem with when I'm writing, but overall it's very nice - Keep it up! and i'll read the story overall :)
- 1 decade ago
"How old are you anyway?" Um, I'm not sure about this, but shouldn't it be, "How old are you, anyway?"
"Yeah, I kind of get that a lot. I have no clue why though. To me I don’t look a day over thirteen. Except, my birthday is coming up in May, I’m not all that thrilled though.” Shouldn't there be a comma before though, both times?
“Ouch. That hurts you know." Shouldn't there be a comma before ''you''?
“If you must know, I write…forget it my poems are way to private for you to read.” Shouldn't there be a comma before ''my''?
"I think this was the coldest winter Los Angeles has seen. There still wasn’t the tiniest snow flake though." Do you really need the ''though''?
"If you’ve ever been on stage in front of a huge audience then you’d understand how I felt, even though it was just 13 six year olds and him" Okay, still not sure about anything i'm writing, but aren't you supposed to spell out thirteen?
The first chapter was good......
“Good. Can you feel anything under you head as of right now?” I blinked twice as he scribbled something on his paperwork. Under your head...?
When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne. That's a good song!!
“Oh, okay. Hello Crystal, I’m Dr, Mathews but you can call me Andrew.” Dr. (Period) Mathews.
“Knock, knock.” I recognized Crystal’s voice. “Good morning sleepy head.” Good morning, sleepy head.... I think....
“I don’t know but when I look at you I feel like I can be anything and I don’t need to pretend for anyone anymore. "I don't know, but when..."
Chapter two was good, I only wrote a few of the mistakes (or what i think are mistakes) you say 'though' to much... and you need a few commas here and there... besides that it's good (I think)
They were all fun and cool. Crystal had a major crush on Patrick’s third best friend, Bobby.
Patrick and I knew all the gossip around the school. Kelly is Patrick’s third best friend and likes Nick who also likes Kelly but hates Patrick. hmm? Is bobby his third best friend or is kelly?
“You’ll be able to last a night alone won’t you? I can always skip it isn’t that big of a deal. I think Julia might understand.” I can always skip, it isn't...... I can always skip it, it isn't...... i think....
I didn’t understand why it was called a “living room” when it didn’t look like any ever stepped in it. when it didn't look like anyone ever...?
Patrick introduced me to Michelle and her other best friends, Amy, Daisy, and Leah. Eight pairs of eyes glared at me and I immediately felt like I did when I met Andrew and Sue except, I didn’t feel the warm, welcoming family feeling. I just felt…alone. eight pairs of eyes, you only mentioned four people, besides Patrick.
“Michelle, it’s not even like that and you know it.” I think the word ''even'' is just extra, it's not really needed....
Okay, so when you're writing and one person is talking but it moves onto a new paragraph you write it like this...
"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah " you don't put " at the end of the first paragraph, but you put them at the start of the next one... get it?
You said though to much in the first two chapters, but the third was good. And you need to go back and add commas here and there; I only put a few on this answer. But the over-all story is good. I liked it, over-all.
My editing sucks... I only have a grade seven education... but good luck with your story :)