Ali
Lv 4

My boyfriend won't have sex with me?

We've been together for 3.5 years. We've had our ups and downs. The problem is that he won't have sex with me... there is absoultely no intimacy in our relationship anymore. He *says* it's because I'm pregnant and he doesn't want to hurt the baby... but I honestly don't even know how we managed to get pregnant in the first place, since we so rarely have sex (I had stopped taking the pill because I thought it was pointless to pay all the extra money and told him to use condoms instead since it was cheaper... well, the condom broke and now I'm 8 months pregnant...). Anyway, I don't know what to do. I've tried EVERYTHING to get him interested, but he just doesn't want anything to do with me. He swears he isn't cheating on me and it would be hard for him to since we JUST moved to my mom's house (from 2.5 hours away) to have extra money for the baby and he doesn't have a car. He also says he isn't gay and that he still finds me attractive... so I just don't know what to do. I try to talk to him about it and it always ends in a fight and nothing ever gets resolved. We don't have alot of money, so it would be impossible to get counseling services unless they are free... Should I keep trying to work things out? Or should I just break up with him (I really don't want to do that... but I don't know what else to do)? I mean, its not just me that I have to think about anymore, it's the baby too... and I would like the baby to have it's father in it's life. I just feel so lonely.

Update:

It has been like this for over a year... before I even found out I was pregnant.

15 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well have you really thought about him really caring for the baby? Maybe he just wants to be cautious because he doesn't want to do anything that could potentially go wrong (even though i don't think anything will). You should also not be pestering him too much about it, because he may get irritated by it and do something bad... Try taking him out to a nice, private dinner alone, just the two of you, and once he feels comfortable try talking to him about it.

    If he still refuses to have any intimacy with you, maybe he just needs his own space for a while... or maybe it is time to rethink things again

    I'm not an expert in this, but just try it! Good luck!

  • Poppy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Some men just have this like of drive around this time. Nature works in odd ways sometimes. Let him know however that he's not going to hurt the baby. Some doctors even suggest sex just before the baby's due to get contractions started.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My advice is, ur 8 months pregnant. one more to go. then give yourself a rest for a few weeks to a month, loose the weight, and see if he is willing to "do" you now scince you are not pregnant anymore & have lost the weight. I wouldnt leave him for such a silly reason though. U have a baby together, don't ruin its life. Dont fight about it either, talk calmly with him. Bring up my idea if you think its good and see if he will start having regular sex with you again after the baby. Try not to fight about it though, just try to talk "calmly" because fighting only makes things worse-seriously.

    good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    well if you're far enough along he might be afraid of touching the baby with his hooha.. when i was 8 or 9 months along my bf swears he felt my sons head with his penis and he freaked he curled up in the fetal position and yeah like rocked back and forth whimpering. after you have the baby and after a few months when you can have sex again his drive should return.. a couple things might effect it then tho, the stress of having a baby can do wonders on a guy.. the added worries get to them sometimes.. living with your mom can hurt sex life too... and the fear that you'll get pregnant again. but hopefully everything will work out, its important to remember that your relationship isnt based on sex. good luck :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well ive been with my man for almost 5 years and im preggo now (due 10/16/08) and we have sex atleast 3 times a week!! nd let him know that its good to have sex its better the more that u fuks.. and there is no way he can hurt the baby.. the worst that can happen is that they come out with 2 black eyes!! LOL j/k =)

    Source(s): good luck, and try talking to him!!
  • 1 decade ago

    Go to family counseling.

    There is no greater gift a parent can give a child, than for them to love one another. You owe it to your baby, and yourself to work things out with your boyfriend.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Some guys just aren't attracted to pregnant women - but that only explains recent behavior..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He's scared. I would be, too. I mean, I've always wanted to be a parent, but maybe he's just freaked out by the prospect of being one.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ithink hes be honest he dosnt wanna hurt the baby.

  • 1 decade ago

    jus give him some time. what i mean by that is dont go all up in his face, no offense, but dont try to resolve anything or get him to do anything for now. it seems like he is shocked by the reality

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