Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請文法高手幫我改文法唷-20點

I think that school should purchase books for students instead of buying computers because buying books are much cheaper than purchasing computers. Then, students can borrow these books from library, whereas they cannot borrow computers to their homes. Moreover, a plenty of students can save money. They do not need to buy their text books because they can find books which they want in the library.

Many students choose to attend schools abroad because they can learn how to develop their international concepts. Moreover, people who want to study abroad might have more job opportunities than others, increasing their competition. Some people feel a sense of accomplishment if they study in other countries.

Music is important to people because it can assist us to dilute our stress and it can represent a characteristic of a country. Music, like art, can increase good report with people.

People can realize what a team work is through an organization. People learn to how to share their responsibilities and how to maintain a good report with their opposite numbers.

I will bring computer if I am preparing a trip because I can look the meteorological phenomena by the internet. Moreover, I can contact with my friends by e-mail no matter where I am. I can discover some well-known attractions if I have a computer.

我想請英文高手大大 幫我改文法 不是改句子唷

錯的部分麻煩 幫我用大寫 或 HIGHLIGHT 起來 並簡單說明為什麼 謝謝

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I think that school should purchase books for students instead of computers, because books cost much less than computers. Then, students can borrow these books from library, whereas they cannot borrow computers and take back to their homes. Moreover, students can save money because they will not have to buy the text books; the library now privides books for everyone.

    句子不要太長,要適當地用逗點。我知道你用『buy』及『purchase』是不想重複,但是根本不需要。『borrow.....back』滿怪的。記得句子要順暢、流利,不要原地鬼打牆。

    Many students choose to study abroad because they can learn how to develop their international perspectives. Furthermore, these people who study abroad might have more job opportunities than the others, and could also increase the competition. Some people feel a sense of accomplishment if they study in other countries.

    國際觀是『international perspective』或『global perspective』。不要一直用『moreover』。再來,『...people who want to study abroad...』邏輯很怪,因為既然『want』就代表還未做,怎麼會有更多工作機會?最後,綠色的部份我不知道你想表達什麼,你可以補充,我再補充。

    Music is important to people because it can help us to dilute our stresses and represent a characteristic of a country. Music, like art, can increase good report with people.

    不用『assist』,雖然中文意思一樣,但在英文裡怪怪的,『assist』是有點合作的意思,我也不會講那感覺,反正記得,開始寫英文時,不用特意用較『高級』的字眼,老師看的不是這個,而且常常會弄巧成拙。再來,『it can』用一次就好。最後,綠色部份不懂。

    People can understand what team work is through working in an organization. People learn how to share their responsibilities and maintain a good report with their opposite numbers.

    一樣,『how to』就不用寫兩次了。

    I will bring computer if I am preparing a trip because I can look for the meteorological phenomena through the internet. Besides, I can contact my friends by e-mail no matter where I am, and I can discover some well-known attractions if I have a computer.

    句子不要突兀的結束或開始,要善用介系詞,如『and, but, because, or』等,把一個句子完成,再重新開始一個。像你最後,用網路可以聯絡朋友,又可以查景點,就應該放在一起,不要獨立開來。

    不好意思,把你的文章改得面目全非,不過並沒有因為自己的想法而改,完全是按照英文寫作的基本模式,該刪的刪,該加的加,你可以放心。

    2008-10-01 08:00:23 補充:

    I will bring computer if I am preparing a trip because I can look for the

    應該

    I will bring computer if I am preparing "for" a trip"," because "then" I can look for the

    加了三個地方,這樣較順暢。

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