Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 1 decade ago

Im 15, have a baby and a problem!!!?

hi, so im 15 and yes I have a baby,but it was a result of being sexual assaulted more than once by the same guy. My mom is a very important person in her church and when she found out i was pregnant she kicked me out, so i live with my brother. Anyway, there is an old man,like 40, who will marry me and take care of my baby if i promise to sleep with him every night. But, there's this guy and he likes me and i like him. He is 16 and has a job, his parents said we could live in the basement, and i really think i love him. He loves the baby and she loves him. What would be better for my baby?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    raise your baby with someone who is not wanting to be with you because he is an old pervert. He won't care about your baby and a 40 year old wanting sex with a 15 year old is a rapist. Your baby needs a daddy to love it, what are you going to do when your baby is 15 and your 55 year old hubby wants to have sex with your baby?

  • 1 decade ago

    Does your mother understand what happened and how the baby came to be? Its horrible that she would kick you out like that. I think for now, with your brother or any other family member would be the best place for you. No matter what, stay away from that 40 year old guy. He is a creep. You do not need him. You should get to know the 16 year old better, but don't move in her basement just yet. You have a rough life ahead of you. Finish school. Get a job. Raise the baby. You know its hard, and it is going to be harder before it gets easier. That is whats best for your baby. It will be hard for you to find a real relationship with a baby until you are older. Don't worry about relationships. Worry about baby.

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all the man who is offering to take you and your baby in that is in is 40's should go to jail for trying to have sex with a minor!!! No you should not go with this 40 year old just because he has a job and can provide. This guy should be called a sex offender. You need to either continue to stay with your brother and finish high school so you can go to college and get a good job to care for you baby. Just because you are now a mother does not mean that you can't go back to school and then get a good job. You could continue to date your boyfriend who is 16 and not make any commitments until you both have graduated from high school. I know it seems all confusing right now but it will get better for you. Don't give into the 40 year old who should be ashamed of himself for even making such an offer to a minor. What is better for the baby is having her mommy stay in school and go to college to get a degree to support her as she is growing up. You can do it, there are allot of young women that have baby's and become successful because they are no longer doing it for themselves but for there child. There are programs out there for teen moms that can help you. Go talk to your local pastor or your school guidance counselor who should be able to give you some advice and information. Good luck to you and please don't marry the 40 year old you will not be happy. And like you stated he only want's you for one reason only sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all as a Christian I ask for forgiveness on behalf of your mother. That certainly is not a christian way to act and I wonder how Mary's mother reacted when finding out that young Mary(probably 14 or 15 when she gave birth to Christ) was going to give birth to the messiah? There's a special placed reserved for people like your mom:) You deserve better!

    Second of all stay away from that 40 year old creep. He just wants you for sex and cares nothing about you or your baby. The 16 year olds parents will be able to help you a lot and you will be happier with them. The 16 year old would be the better option in my opinion. I mean what 16 year old boy is willing to help raise his girlfriends kid? He seems really great. Is the basement the only option for the two/three of you? Personally, I would be a bit skeptical of parents who let a 15 year old girl with a baby move into my son's bedroom. That's just one thing you have to consider. But anyway, what happens if you break up with this boyfriend? It would be very awkward to live with him then and unstable for your child. I think you need to figure out better housing arrangements but in the meantime you and your baby need to be taken care of!

    Oh and this is completely aside from the question but do you watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager? Your situation is different but it reminds me of Ben and Amy from the show.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well what the 40 year old man wants to do is against the law. if you really love this 16 year old and you know that both of you can take care of the baby together and be loving parents then be with him. do what you feel is best for your baby and then you. your child should always come first.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all, you should press charges on the person who hurt you. And did you explain this to your mother? Does she realize that you are a victim?

    I know it may be tempting to get into a relationship because you want to do what's best for your baby, but you don't want to make such a heavy decision so quickly. That's one of the great thing about mothers, that they will do anything for their children, but rushing into a bad relationship with that kind of requirement is not a good idea. Plus, raising a child is hard enough, and will be even harder for two teenagers. Can you stay with your brother for a while? Try to find other family that can help you, or reach out to people you trust in your community who are older and wiser.

    Don't try to handle all of this alone. Get the help you need, and don't put your life, safety, and happiness in jeopardy. You can raise your child fine on your own, without a man, with the proper help from family that cares.

  • 1 decade ago

    look I know your only 15 and 15 year old knows everything BUT.. if a 40 year old wants to sleep with 15 year old tell him to go to HELL and get as far away from that child molester! Then about the 16 year old boy that has a job, he has nothing to offer you besides his mothers' basement. You need to stay with your brother finish school and worry about yourself and your baby. Everybody wants a boyfriend so maybe you can date him but don't make any mistakes as moving into some boys mother' basement. The question is what happens if you two brakes up where does that put you and your baby?

    Source(s): from a grown up side
  • 1 decade ago

    First I hope you reported the guy that was assaulting you to the police.

    Second your mom is a *****! Sorry had to be said. Kicking your 15 year old daughter out for being pregnant when she was assaulted?

    Now as for your dilemma, only you can choose what YOU feel is right for you and your baby. I believe that the 40 year old is just some old perv who will kick you out as soon as you get too old for him or if he just gets tired of sleeping with you. Besides what he is propositioning you is illegal, unethical and wrong. If a guy who is your age, you love him, and is willing to take you and your baby then I think that is your best bet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If a guy will only keep you up b/c you sleep with him then he not worth your time of day...just think he could do the same to your daughter once she got older b.c it is not his biological child! The 40 year old sounds like a creep! And if this other guy is only 16 and willing to love you and your child as if it was his on, then I would definately go for it! Listen to what your heart says, even if you and this 16 year old do not lvoe one another right now, but truly like one another...one day it will turn into love.

  • 1 decade ago

    What do you think would be best for your baby?? You're the parent. Be responsible! This is your child that you chose to have.

    Where do you live where it would be allowed for a 40 year old man and a 15 year old girl to legally get married?

    This all sounds too foolish to be true. I really hope you are just making this up.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That 40 year old man seems very strange to me. First of all - what kind of deal is that - I marry you if you promise to sleep with me every night..I dont think a smart and nice person would ask for this. Choose the guy you love. If you marry someone you dont love on terrible conditions like that you will never be happy and will regret it. And as for your baby - first of all, (s)he needs her mother to be happy and you need to set a good example of relationship for her - with love, not trade.

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