Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

I'm sad and stuck in a rut in life?

I never thought I would ever make a message like this, but here I go.

Lately, I've been feeling really depressed, and have been for a couple months now. I wish I had someone to talk to, but I don't. My girlfriend of 1 year doesn't really want much to do with me, she's content sleeping all day, or on the computer playing games online. Any form of intimacy left the relationship about 8 months ago, if not more. I sometimes try to tell her that I'd like to feel wanted in my relationship, but she never really tries to do anything that makes me feel wanted by her. She would make up excuses or find ways to get out of cuddling with me or something, like telling me to look at how cute our dog is, which is just laying there or something, or getting up to tend to the needs of the ferrets half empty water container, then when she's done, she just goes back to the computer or something. She doesn't work, never really has (she used to work 3 hours a day at a fast food restaurant for a little while, but quit) and never cleans, never makes dinner, never runs errands (doesn't have a drivers license or anything) and she's perfectly content while I struggle to pay bills, and pay her parents a very generous amount for rent. When I mean struggle, I mean, I work hard fabricating cabinet door out of raw steel in 110 degree factory. Which kind of brings me to my next "rut," my job is starting to kill me. I'm allergic to the oil on the steel, it makes my skin flare up really bad and I get a super bad rash that bleeds and stuff, but there's nothing I can really do about it because I dropped out of school when I was 15, so I only have a 9th grade education which is my fault because I was lazy in school and I think I have ADHD because I could never focus, but nobody really knows that, I just tell everyone I got my G.E.D. when I actually didn't and every time I lie about my education I feel depressed. I'm sore all of the time from lifting and 12 hour days and I dropped a piece of raw sheet steel on my leg and cut it pretty bad so it hurts when I walk but wont be so bad when it heals I think. My diet is really bad because I can't afford real meals, and I don't really have the time to make myself stuff ahead of time. So, I've started gaining weight which makes me look weird since I have a small frame and a pot belly now, I don't really eat much but stuff such as ramen and whatever else is cheap, but I'm still always pretty hungry. I really want to go to school because everyone at my local college (University of Iowa) all look really happy and stuff and are probably going to have good jobs once they graduate. I don't think 21 (my current age) is too old to go back to school, but I don't have the time to go to take the classes needed to pass the G.E.D. because if I miss more than 3 days a month of work, I lose my job. Plus, I really don't know what I want to go to school for. I don't even know if I could get any student loans because my credit is pretty bad from all of the small things I couldn't ever pay off, like doctors visits. My family doesn't really keep in contact with me, everyone moved and I don't have their new numbers or where they live and stuff. Even my younger brother (19 this Oct. 3rd) whom I thought was pretty close to me didnt even tell me he was moving until after he did and hasn't talked to me sense, and even when he was on the phone with me he was just talking to everyone in the background. I'm just sad all the time now, and I try to keep my head up and hope its going to get better, but it never does. I got pulled over twice in one day for having expired temp tags on a new car while in another state, and when I went to court (in Scottsdale, AZ) and made a plea of hardship, I was just told to grow and start living in the real world. Now that I live back in IA, and there isn't any decent form of transportation where I live such as a taxi or bus (we have a bus, but I work 2nd shift and it doesn't go on a route that I can use), I always have to walk back and forth to work, and to get groceries, pay bills, etc and I owe my state like 1200 in fines, I even had to do a weekend in jail while I was sick because I didn't show up to court after I got a ticket for violating curfew walking back from work, I didn't know I had court, so I owe money for that too. I absolutely can not find a new job, I've tried so much and I've had a couple interviews, even the local staffing agencies (Temp, and Team Staffing) won't even work with me because I don't have a way to get to and from work. Sometimes I cry, which could be the most unmanly thing ever, but I always feel like I'm being punished for something I did wrong and I don't have a way to correct. I never really feel like killing myself or anything, but sometimes while I'm working I can't help but think that Im just.. dying anyways, and laying in the ground isn't so scary. No, I don't do drugs or drink or anything like that.

I'm sorry for my long story, I just wanted to get it out o


If someone could point me in a general direction or something on how to "improve" - that would be good, because I don't know what to do.

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This would be a Quick Help ...

    Try out the food based on your Blood group today . Mainly the Oil you use to cook is first to consider based on your Blood group .

    Selecting the Right Diet is a big question . I do not know if you are doing the same .

    No one is too young or old to start with good diet plan .

    Find out what is good diet or Bad diet for your Blood group. No Need to do pushpus or take any pills .




    Your blood type is the key that unlocks the door to the mysteries of health, disease, longevity, physical vitality and emotional strength. Your blood type determines your susceptibility to illness, which foods you should eat and how you should exercise. It is a factor in your energy levels, the efficiency with which you burn calories, your

    emotional response to stress and perhaps even your personality.

    Find what diet helps loose weights and what diet is


    O ----- NEUTRAL FOOD


  • 1 decade ago

    I don't blame you for feeling depressed; you have a lot to deal with for someone so young. I won't pretend to have the answers to all of your problems, but I have a few suggestions.

    If the relationship with your girlfriend is poor and she isn't giving you any emotional support, maybe it's time to move out of her parents' place and stop paying that hefty rent. Perhaps you could rent a room closer to your place of work or nearer to other, better employment. You may even end up with more money to spend on yourself, including on some decent food.

    You could also make an appointment to speak to a course adviser at your local college to see whether you could study part-time or whether there are other options for you. Judging by your writing skills in your lengthy question, you are an intelligent person, so study could be a great way to lift yourself out of this rut. You're too young to be living such a depressing life- make a move now.

    I wish you all the best.

    Source(s): Many years of teaching experience.
  • 1 decade ago

    OK, I know what I am about to say will probably sound really strange, but bare with me.

    If I were you, I would just start over. Push the reset button. I would move to a new place, get a new job there, and start working for my dreams in my spare time. I know that there are probably a million reasons why you think you can't leave your current situation, but the burning of all bridges and starting over can really do wonders for your soul. Just think about living the rest of your life the way you are now. Don't like it? Then take the chance now, and know that even if you fail, you did everything in your power to try and fix it. I would not want to live to the end of my life and be thinking "what if I did push the reset button?"

  • Ok. Firstly, the truth is, it takes a real man to cry. A person who's worried about crying and that it makes them less of a man, IS less of a man. Because they don't acknowledge that they're human and they need to cry, just like woman. Always remember that, my friend :)

    That's good that your getting it out, it was a good read! I'm not going to tell you I know how you feel. Because I don't. I can only imagine how hard everything must be for you and you must be a very strong person to take all of this and still be on top!!!

    But yes, I call tell that your finding it very hard to 'stay on top' if you like, that your in trouble. I might have caved in on life by now if I was you, I'm glad you haven't. It really is a strength to seek help for yourself.

    You don't need to improve, your life does! and you can make that happen.

    Write down everything that's bothering you. Its great that you've done most of that on here. Now do it for you, on a piece of paper, in a clear list of things that are bothering you.

    After you've done that, you need to find ways to fix them for your life. Get back in contact with your family. Remember, this is for you, not them. YOU need them.

    The ONLY way your ever going to fix the problems with your girl friend, is, obviously, if you tell her exactly how you feel. What you've been telling us, but for her. Talk to her about HER behaviour and either she ship up or ship out in other words. Because your future happiness depends on it. That is worth losing her if she doesn't acknowledge what she's doing that is bothering you and want to and try to change. For you and herself.

    The job thing, thats also why you need your family. For finacial help aswell. If your job doesn't make you happy, doesn't make you want to work hard and well, then you've gotta ditch it! your future happiness depends on that too. You need to find a way to get that time to go back to school. To study. So, you need your family's help. Or a friend's. Who would you be without everyone else?

    Don't worry about the fines. YOUR more important that your fines lol unless they take action, don't worry for a bit. If so, pay them, FOR YOU.

    Buy some fruit everytime you go to the shops. Eat at least 2 peices of fruit a day. And buy pts of frozen vegies. Have them with ramen or whatever. Better than nothing.

    THEN worry about your apperrence! after your stable. Thats only going to happen with you!

    Hope I helped somewhat!

    May God help you :):):)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My heart goes out to you. I'm going to say a little prayer for you. Even if you don't believe in god, I hope everything works out for you...listen to the advice above from ♥Thank you God for everything♥ and justsomebody. It's good advice.

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