Is it a bad idea to transition into a real relationship from a friends w/ benefits?

At first, he told me he was too busy for a real relationship and we have been fwb for months but I told him that I wasnt going to do it anymore because i felt used. He said that it hurt him to hear that and when i asked him again why we werent dating, he asked me to be his girlfriend. But now, he doesnt want to hang out with me as much as I do because he "feels pressure". Should I just give him space to get used to this new situation or was this just a bad idea in the first place?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The problem with going from friends with benefits to a "real" relationship is that it complicates things for several reasons. These FWBs are always a bad idea because it satisfies the men's physical needs but it's also satisfies our emotional needs. When we try to make it work into a relationship, it usually DON'T work.

    So in your case, your friend just want to keep his benefits going by suggesting to be your "boyfriend" even though he doesn't mean it. My best advice for you, honey, is to drop whatever relationship you had with him and move on. I know it's easier said than done but trust me, you'll feel better about yourself in the end. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    The reason he told you that he wanted you to be his girlfriend, was because he wanted to buy some time to figure out how to work you into his life so you won't just up and leave the situation. But now that he's decided it isn't worth it, he's basically giving you the brush-off so that he can go out and look for someone else to fill the role. He'll expect you to come back begging for him, telling him that you guys don't need to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and that fwb is just fine. You guys will have one more fling, before he drops you, and you'll feel like crap. If I were you, I'd get the upper hand and get yourself in a real relationship, so you don't end up looking desperate. Good luck

    Source(s): Been there-- lots of times, and can't believe that this is the way these kinds of guys operate
  • 1 decade ago

    I think societys expectations on people that are going out can be quite vast. Most likely alot of this is taking a toll on him. Try to reinforce that nothings changed, because nothing has. The only difference is your relationship has a different title.

    Dont get discoraged by such a small thing or you'll have troubles later on

  • 1 decade ago

    Friends with benefits is a bad idea, but beyond that, he doesnt sound like he wants a relationship. You are being used! Get out now and get someone who respects you!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It was a bad idea to begin with!! friends with benefits never become more than that in my experience. if you wanted more than that you shouldn't have given him the benifits before he gave you the status of being his girlfriend.

    so leave, get out. he won't change.

    i mean if you were him would you?

    he's got the best of both worlds here.

    sex and no nagging.

  • 1 decade ago

    It wasnt a bad idea. But, he just doesnt seem like a good guy. You should dump him before he dumps you because it looks like it is heading that way. At least, you tried.

  • let him go. he would still be FWB if you didnt say anything. he is dating you as a way of still keeping you in his life for sex, he dosnt really want a relationship. its a great idea for him, but bad for you because he is just trying to fool you and use you

  • 1 decade ago

    the relationship wasnt based on any kind of REAL friendship afterall...just sex. so, no.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You shouldn't have to pressure him to be with you, it should have came out of his heart.

  • 1 decade ago

    ftb is like the greatest thing ever....i had like 12 or so from the ages of 16-21...12 that i can think of.....i loved it....

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