Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

If you a married Do you expect you husband to take care of you ?

Financially, and any other needs that you have, that are reasonable?

If he is the one that works and you take care of the house and cook most of the time.

Or if your the guy and you work do you expect her to kep the house, because you each have your own roles.

Would you consider it grounds for divorce or separation if your husband or wife wasnt able to responsible take care of their part.

Like in my situation My husband is the one who works and I take care of the house and cook most of the time. But he is falling behind on the bills and doesnt spend his money very wisely.

He was married before for 10 years and the money situation was alot of the reason she wanted to divorce him and a big reason they finally got a divorce. So maybe he is just really bad with money,I have asked him be fore to give me his checks and let me take care of it but he bitches because he says he worked for it and he should have it. Now there are somethings like,when we were dating I was working and he got fired so I was taking care of him for about a year, and when I was taking care of him he wasnt working and didnt try too hard to find a job. Thats one of the reasons i dont work because I know if I start then he would try and quit or atleast that what I think , he might now.

Its not like he is a child he is 38 years old and Im 20 And he was 36 when i was 18 and working to support him or around that age,I cant get a better job that makes more money than him because he has more experience more qualifications and a cdl license. Thats another thing He has had 5 jobs in the last 4 years and several positions with temp services in between those jobs. But he blames part of it on me because he thinks I should work too. he wont even fix the car.and just other small piddly things like this. We had our emotional problems but we have worked those out.

Thanks

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Reality is you picked a born loser. He will never change. He is the type who will never take responsibility for his actions, instead he will always blame his short-comings on other people.

    Even if you 2 are together you definitely need to get a job. You are not responsible for him. It would even be a good idea for you to find another place and live by yourself even though both of you are very much married and still seeing each other.

    Also you need to consider seeing a marriage counselor.

    If you know how much your husband earns tell him you need atleast a quarter of that or X amount so you can take care of the house. You need to take actions or decide if you want this for your life. He was married for 10 years and his X divorced him for this reason, that means he will never change.

  • 1 decade ago

    No.

    It would be nice if one person could be "the provider" and the other could be " the home maker". However, life is pretty expensive, and I think marriages where both couples work are becoming the norm. i also think it is a trend that is only going to grow.

    By the way the whole "it's my money cause I worked for it" idea doesn't really work when your married. Don't let him get away with that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry to tell you this, but you should start working and draw boundaries. I wouldn`t live with this guy one more week...

    At your age you have some issues, have you heard, better alone than...yes, in his company...A good marriage is based on some other things like love, trust and patience, but the easiest way to maintain a good marriage is to start out with a good marriage, from the beggining!

    I don`t see this getting better with time, I haven`t seen anyone changing that much , from really bad to really good...Sorry if this isn`t what you expected to hear, but I don`t see it any other way...He`s shelfish, cheap and yes, a little too old for you. And if you aren`t smarter and bigger, he`ll continue manipulating the whole situation, and that includes your life. Believe me, you deserve better!...

  • Lena
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Sounds to me that you to need to really sit down and talk things through or trying counseling someone I know has the same problem she's at home with the kids doing her part and he can't manage to keep a steady job selfish if you ask me Financial reasons are why so many people get divorced if your doing your part then its time for him to do his

    Source(s): Lξna
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  • 5 years ago

    I usually receive much less as a result of bodily and intellectual disorders of my mate, however, so long as he attempts to paintings on his problems and works on treating me with love and appreciate always, I'm well. My husband has a head damage, and comparable disorders.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like you picked a winner. The actions you experienced when you were dating should have been a tell tell sign of things to come. I suspect that you will be living life like this until you decide to leave.

  • 1 decade ago

    i work and my husband works. he has 2 jobs, i have one. he doesn't want me to get a 2nd job, no matter how we are financially. that being said, i don't EXPECT anyone to take care of me.

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah yeah...most women expect their husbands to support them and then they hold out on the pussy....thats just cruel...

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